


Surrender

by becsgrey, Bex (becsgrey)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:28:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26925115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/becsgrey/pseuds/becsgrey, https://archiveofourown.org/users/becsgrey/pseuds/Bex
Summary: You are a fourth-year teacher starting at a new school near your hometown. Due to the administration's lack of faith in your knowledge and abilities, you're assigned a coteaching position with the History Department headteacher Kylo Ren. Falling into his traps, you find yourself consumed by him, his moodiness, and the way he affects you to no end.I am writing as I go and will update regularly
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren/Reader, Ben Solo/Reader, Kylo Ren & Reader, Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 17
Kudos: 78





	1. Chapter 1

Your foot aches as you push down on the gas pedal of your new small sedan on your drive to the high school. The radio plays softly in the background, providing some white noise over the sound of the quiet engine as your mind thought through your day.

As a result of your breakup last fall, you had fallen into a lonely depressive state at the realization that your so-called friends really weren’t your friends, evident by their immediate disappearance at the first sign of distress within you. Following the retirement of the Art Teacher in the town one over from where you grew up, you took a leap of faith, applied for the job, interviewed, and eventually signed a contract, agreeing to start over again at a completely new school.

Adhering to your rule of not living in the town you teach in, you rented a one-bedroom apartment from a family friend located above an old ice cream shop on the historical main street. The apartment, complete with old woodwork and lead paned windows that hinged open nestled at the top of the skinny old windows could barely be considering a one bedroom considering the only thing separating the bedroom from the living space was a wall with a large gap at the top and a sliding barn door across the opening. The floors creak and the windows are drafty, but the charm and the location of the old building were far more attractive to you than any of the new build apartments on the outskirts of town.

You pull into the parking spot that the front desk secretary had assigned you last week when you came by to pick up your keys. Being one of the newest teachers, you of course have the furthest walk to the door, reminding you painfully of your poor choice in footwear. It isn’t like you elected to wear heels on the first day, but the tight leather of your new loafers hadn’t stretched out quite yet and was pinching painfully on your toes in the front, particularly your little pinky toe.

After leaving your bags in the classroom you had started setting up last week, you collect your MacBook, notebook, and travel coffee mug knowing that coffee will be the only thing that will help you get through the first day in one piece. Your classroom is located in the specials wing meaning it’s quite the walk to get anywhere else in the school including the library, where the all-staff meeting is today, and you begin the freckles down the empty hallways with plenty of time to spare.

The closer you get to the library, the more you can feel your social anxiety quickly rising. You at least had enough common sense last week to come to the school and give yourself a tour using the map provided by the secretary to alleviate that stress, but the idea of walking into a room of 50 other teachers you don’t know is still terrifying, even as a fourth-year teacher who was previously well established at a different school.

You walk into the library, your hands tight around your computer, and your knees threatening to give out, the feeling that people are looking at you making you even more nervous than is necessary. “Y/N!” You hear a familiar voice chirp and your stomach drops at the idea of someone drawing attention to you. Lifting your eyes, you scan the room, noticing that most people aren’t even paying attention to you, except for a couple of people at a table with an open seat. “Come sit with us,” the young teacher who was in your interview says with a smile and pulls the empty chair out for you to sit.

“Thank you,” you breathe out, your hands still shaking as you set your belongings down and take a seat.  
“In case you don’t remember my name, I’m Rose, the orchestra teacher here,” she says politely, her large glasses resting on her cheeks and moving up with them as her smile grows. “This is Poe Dameron, he teaches PhyEd, and this,” she kicks a dark-skinned man who is playing on his phone under the table to get his attention, causing him to jump and look up startled, “this is Finn, he teaches history.

“Nice to meet you,” Poe says politely. He pauses for a moment to take a big gulp of water and run the back of his hand across his mouth before continuing. “You a first year?”

“No, this is my fourth actually,” you say quietly, trying to hide the embarrassment that he assumes you’re young and fresh out of college.

“You just seemed a little timid and nervous, you know, like a newbie,” he chuckles and Finn smirks.

“Poe don’t be a dick,” Rose scolds. “Ignore them, they’re both kind of a handful, but they’re actually pretty nice.”

“Noted,” you chuckle and look around the room at all of the other teachers. “I feel severely overdressed,” you observe as you look at everyone in their jeans and sweatshirts, a direct juxtaposition to your cropped dress pants, blouse, and loafers.

“We’re an extremely casual staff,” Rose explains, picking at the granola bar that sits on the table in front of her and has been diminished to crumbs. “We’ll dress more professionally once the students are here, but for workdays, dress comfortably.”

“I’ll note that as well,” you mumble in annoyance at potentially sticking out even more like a sore thumb. Fighting down the feeling of embarrassment, you move your notebook off your MacBook to distract yourself by opening the email containing the agenda for the meeting Principal Pryde sent out early this morning. As you open the screen of your computer, you forget about your travel mug, knocking it over on the table, the metal creating a racket as it bounces once, rolls, and then falls off the table, coffee splashing everywhere.

“Shit,” you mutter as you move quickly to pick it up, becoming acutely aware of the fact that you don’t know where to go to get paper towels.

“Let’s go get paper towels,” Rose quickly says and stands up, rushing quickly to the bathroom, with you on her heels.

Once the mess is cleaned up the best it can be considering the Library floor is all carpet, an interesting choice for a room that is frequented by hundreds of students every day, Finn accompanies you to the staff lounge to refill your coffee mug. The smell that pours out of the industrial-sized coffee maker with thick steam is heavenly, automatically soothing you a touch, and helping you to stop shaking.

Turning to retrieve the lid of your tumbler, an unannounced figure next to you startles you, causing you to jump. You watch in horror as the coffee sloshes, almost in slow motion up to the edge, only a drip crashing over the metal rim and slipping down the side to your finger.

“Fuck,” you gasp as the scalding coffee runs down the side and makes contact with your skin, burning the side of your index finger. Out of instinct, you switch which hand is holding the mug and shove your finger in your mouth in an attempt to soothe the pain, completely forgetting about the person who is still standing in front of you with a front-row seat to the show.

“Almost two coffee accidents within ten minutes,” a deep voice says from above you, drawing your attention back to the person you almost spilled a scorching hot cup of coffee on.

Lifting your eyes, your burnt finger still in your mouth, you find yourself at chest level with a man wearing a perfectly pressed white shirt, the buttons across his pecs barely hanging on for dear life due to the broadness of his chest. Scanning your eyes further up, you observe his prominent Adam’s apple, followed by a soft chin at the end of a hard jawline, plump lips, a broad nose, and finally dark amber eyes framed by his brow that is scrunched up in a quizzical expression. You gulp as you stare up at him, noticing the small beauty marks speckled across his face and the dark raven hair that frames his face in soft waves.

Your eyes return to his just in time to see his eyes move from yours down to your finger that is still resting idly and stupidly in your mouth, his eyebrow and chin twitching softly in response, before returning to your eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” you blurt out and remove your finger from your mouth quickly, his eyes traveling back down to your mouth, watching as you lick your lips and press them together from embarrassment.

“Watch where you are going,” he responds and locks eyes with you. “Lest we have another run in.”

“Yes sir,” you mumble, not sure why you’re calling another teacher sir as he steps around you and begins to fill his mug. “I’m y/n,” you say politely, trying to ease the tension between you.

“I know who you are,” he informs you flatly, his eyes not leaving his mug as he fills it.

“You do?”

“Of course I do,” he adds as he turns back to you, holding your eye contact as he clicks the lid into place. “Have a good day, Ms. y/n,” he says unexpectedly, using you last name which you hadn’t told him, and you scrunch your eyebrows out of confusion as he turns and walks to the door of the faculty lounge.

“Nice to meet you? My name is….” you mutter to yourself as you turn to the counter, retrieving your own lid and placing it back on your mug.

“What was that?” Finn asks from behind you, causing you to jump. What is with everyone here moving so quietly?

“Oh nothing,” you lie. “Just burned my finger.”

“You don’t have good luck,” he laughs and reaches to grab a water bottle out of the fridge before motioning for you to follow him back to the library. “Speaking of bad luck, I saw that you met Ren.”

“Is that who that was? I introduced myself, but he didn’t return the gesture.”

“Yeah,” Finn laughs and looks over his shoulder before dropping his voice and continuing. “He’s a real asshole. We share a wall in the history department and he’s the department head, so I work closely with him as we teach a common course and have to align our assessments.”

“Ah,” you acknowledge.

“Don’t worry, you won’t have to be around him much, we’re in a completely different wing,” Finn assures you and holds the door to the library open for you again.

“Well that’s a relief,” you joke as you approach the tables that have since filled in with more teachers as the long hand on the clock approaches 8 am. A strange feeling prickles at the back up your neck and you look up, your eyes coming into contact with the man from the faculty lounge that Finn just called Ren. His gaze is consistent, almost harsh as he stares at you, a pen in his hand resting on his bottom lip as if he’s in deep thought. With a shake of his head, he drops his eyes and returns his attention back to his notebook in front of him, immediately scrawling words on it.

“You okay?” Rose asks as you sit back down, adjusting your blouse around you and making sure to set your mug in a safe place this time.

“Yeah,” you lie, the nervous butterflies in your stomach causing you to shake a little again as the Principal enters and greets everyone. As the lights dim and Mr. Pryde plugs his computer into the projector, you glance over at Ren again, taking a moment to observe him. He doesn’t look up at the Principal speaking, instead, he jots lines of black ink on his paper, occasionally stopping to review what he’s written, holding the pen to his lips again before continuing. He’s young, probably no more than ten years older than you, his clothes perfectly pressed and immaculate, not comfortable and casual like the rest of the staff, his shoes alone looking as if they’re more expensive than your entire outfit. You can barely tear your eyes away from him, an explainable draw pulling you to just stare at him. He grips the edge of the chair and crosses his leg across the other, the veins in his forearm rippling as he shifts his position, his tan pants leaving very little to the imagination as the fabric pulls tight across his crotch.

His pen returns to his paper, his hand moving quickly as he writes. Without warning, he stops mid-line, his pen stilling in place, and his eyes darting up to yours. You freeze, unable to break the eye contact, your breakfast feeling like it’s going to resurface again.

“Let’s welcome Ms. y/n,” Principal Pryde says loudly, breaking the trance and allowing you the strength to rip your eyes away. “Please introduce yourself,” he prompts and motions for you to stand.

With shaky legs and sweaty palms, you stand, your knees feeling like they’re going to give out from under you. “Hi,” you muster out. “I’m y/n. I previously taught upstate for the last three years after graduating from college and decided recently to move back home. I grew up in the next town over where I currently live with my Cat named Bee.” You pause, glancing down at Rose, unsure what else to say, and then scan the group of strangers thinking about how little they probably care about your cat that they’ll never meet. Ren, who hadn’t listened to a single word the Principal said before, sits back in his chair now, his leg still crossed over the other, his arms folded in front of him casually, a small smirk on his lips, and his eyes scanning up and down you.

“What do you teach?” The principal prompts.

“Oh!” You exclaim as if it’s some big epiphany. “I’m sorry, I’m so bad at this. Put me in front of a classroom, I’m fine, ask me to speak in front of adults, and I clam up as if I’m back in middle school speech class,” you joke and a small murmur of laughs accompany your own nervous laugh. “Anyways, I teach art. I'll be taking on a lot of new classes this year as I previously only taught drawing and painting, but now I’ll be handling all of them, from drawing and painting to ceramics and sculpture. Looking forward to meeting all of you,” you add and sit quickly to avoid further questions, whipping your hands on your pants,

“Good job,” Rose whispers and elbows you encouragingly.

“Thanks,” you whisper back and tuck a stray strand of hair back behind your ear as the principal begins going through the agenda.

Taking a chance, you look up at Ren whose eyes are still on you, just to have them rip them away as soon as you make eye contact. He shifts in his chair, turning back to look at the principal, the smirk growing a little bit, noticeable in the lines on his cheek. Deciding that it’s nothing and he’s just being an asshole like Finn told you, you drop your eyes to your MacBook and open the agenda again, finding the point that the Principal is talking about, and tuning out the idea of Ren.


	2. Capable

Teatering on the ladder and stretching a little further than you probably should, you pin the final poster up on the wall, and descend the rungs to admire your work.

short knocks on the door draws your attention and you turn to find Principal Pryde standing in the doorway to you classroom.

“Hi Mr. Pryde, how can I help you?” You ask politely while whipping the dust from cleaning off your hands and onto your apron.

“Ms.y/n, I see you made some improvements,” he observes while scanning the room with his piercing blue eyes and taking slow even steps into the room.

“Yeah, I-” you stutter and observe the room that has been transformed in the last week from you painting all of the walls with chalkboard paint and covering them with your own doodles and posters. “I just thought this was more inviting than the stark white walls.”

“It’s interesting,” he mumbles, his face still pinched as if he’s in pain while looking at it. “Anyways, I’m here to talk to you about the new format for art history.”

“Oh absolutely, I remember seeing your email. Please, sit,” you offer, motioning towards one of the open stools at the table next to you. He sits across from you, leaning forward onto the table and clasping his hands together, waiting for you to get settled yourself.

“As you know, we have elected to make our art history course a co-taught class. Not because you aren’t capable, but your lack of experience in the history realm is concerning.”

“I assure you, I am more than capable of teaching an art history course, I’m currently working on my masters in the very subject,” you say confidently, pulling your shoulders back and sitting up straight.

“I’m sure,” he mutters, his voice dripping with disbelief. “We have decided to pair you with a history teacher who we feel will be able to oversee the history aspect of it and provide a level of accuracy we may have been missing.”

You blink at him, the shock that he is in fact practically telling you that you are incapable of teaching your own course causing your blood to boil. “And who are you pairing me with to oversee my teaching?” You ask, the slightest hint of annoyance present in your tone.

“You’ll be working with Kylo, he’s highly qualified, and teaches all of our AP history classes along with Econ. Very bright man and he will be a great help to you.”

You plaster a fake smile on your face, the annoyance growing even more that he has chosen a man to ‘help’ you teach your class. “Well that just sounds fantastic.”

“He said he’ll be available all afternoon if you would like to discuss the curriculum,” he explains as he pulls out his phone and trails off while reading an email. “He’s in room 208 in the south wing for you to stop by.”

“I will be sure to do that, thank you,” you reply curtly, hoping that whatever is on that phone is so important that he’ll leave you alone, which thankfully he does, standing up without pushing his stool in and leaving with a distracted goodbye.

As you walk down the hallway, making sure to step lightly in order to not aggravate your bandage wrapped feet more than is necessary, you fume over how this Kylo person had the audacity to send for you. What kind of pretentious ass doesn’t just go to find the other person and introduce themselves, especially when the person is entirely new to the school and doesn’t know anyone.

Stopping in front of a door that is labeled 208, you knock, noticing how the window is covered and you can’t see in. “Come in,” someone grunts from the other side and you turn the handle, pushing the door open.

At the front of the room, sitting at an old wooden table with a pile of papers, the notebook from the meeting, and his laptop, is none other than Ren himself. ‘Ah that’s the type of pretentious asshole who sends for someone instead of coming to find them,’ you think to yourself.

“Y/n, good to see you again,” Kylo utters while still enthralled in whatever it is he’s reading. “So I was thinking,” he continues, not waiting for you to take a seat and still not looking up. “I can handle the history part of the course and the connection to the artwork, after all, the art is all depicting historical events anyways. I will just need you here for the hands on part, learning about different materials and all that fluffy stuff,” he waves his hand dismissively as if it doesn’t matter.

You stare at him, your mouth hanging agape, wondering where the hell he gets the notion that this is at all an acceptable way to handle this. His hair falls in his face, his glasses hugging his nose, and his sleeves rolled up over the bulge of his forearm. “No,” you finally muster, holding your ground and waiting for his reaction, your arms crossed in front of you and your hip cocked slightly out to the side.

He pauses his reading, his pen remaining on his lip as he lets your singular word marinate in the silent room. Finally, he tips his head up, his eyes coming to meet yours and the same smirk from this morning pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“No?” He clarifies and sits back in the chair, his eyes sizing you up once again as he closes the book.

“With all due respect, I’m qualified to teach this with you ‘overseeing’ me, so if Pryde wants us to co-teach, we’ll do just that. We will share the load of the curriculum, the lecturing, and the grading, and you’ll deal with it because you’ll be amazed to know just how much I’m capable of.”

“And what exactly is it that you’re capable of?” His smirk is steady as he holds your eyes, the end of his pen slipping into his mouth allowing him to chew on it, his hand tightening around the pen until his knuckle turn white.

“I hardly think I owe you an explanation just to receive respect from you,” you point out and open your MacBook to view the curriculum outline. “So we’ll be starting with prehistoric,” you state, opening the folder saved on your desktop and looking back at Kylo who stares at you, obviously shocked, yet impressed, and what seems to be a touch aroused by how his lips are parted, his eyes are dilated, and there’s a small tent forming in his lap under the table which you can see from your vantage point now that you’re seated.

Ignoring his strange behavior, you review the curriculum notes left by the previous teacher, efficiently dividing the work between the two of you. The fact that he has barely looked at his own screen during the meeting, but instead has stared at you with intrigue doesn’t go unnoticed as you can feel yourself melting under his gaze, coming completely undone, and questioning how a man who is still technically a stranger can elicit such a fire between your legs only hours after meeting.

“Okay, so I will see you again tomorrow and we can discuss the first assignment and fix up the syllabus,” you rattle off as you collect your planner and computer, balancing them in the crook of your arm.

With a few steps, you reach the door, your hand nearly making it to the handle before Kylo’s reaches in front of yours, blocking you from getting a grip on the smooth worn metal. He’s close, too close, his eye boring holes into you, his lips parted, and his breath labored.

“What are you doing?” You ask quietly, confused at his strange behavior, but also mesmerized by him. Up close, his features are even more beautiful and you can’t pull your eyes away from every little detail of his face. “Kylo?” you whisper, raising your eyebrows and waiting for him to snap to.

His eyes flick down from your eyes to your lips, his mouth closing on cue and his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he gulps.

“What is wrong?” You ask, irritation soaking your voice and your eyebrows pinching together even more.

“It’s okay, I feel it too,” he mutters and flicks his eyes back up to yours, causing your heart to skip one too many beats.

“I don’t know what you’re feeling because all I’m feeling right now is confusion and frustration that you won’t let me leave.”

“See you Tomorrow y/n,” Kylo whispers, his breath tickling across your face before he stands up straight again, and adjusts his sleeves.

“Yeah great,” you mutter and open the door, holding his eyes warily as you step into the hallway as if he’s a wild animal who will attack if you turn your back on him for too long.

Once your out of the way, he steps forward, resting one hand on the door handle and fluffing his hair with the other, holding eye contact until it is cut off by the door closing.

As soon as you hear the click of the latch, you let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding in and stare blankly at the row of lockers. The hallway is empty save for the one janitor all the way at the other end who is working to fix the water fountain, and without a doubt oblivious to the bazaar exchange that just occurred.

Turning around, you notice that the door across the hall is left open, and you peak your head in, locating Finn behind his desktop computer, his fingers furiously typing and his face hidden behind blue light glasses that perfectly frame his eyes.

“Knock knock,” you announce as you step into the room and make a beeline for the blue couch he has nestled in the middle of all the tables.

“Hey!” Finn responds joyfully and finishes typing before turning to face you and removing his glasses. “What brings you all the way down here?”

“You want to know how fucked up my life is?” You whisper and Finn raises an eyebrow but doesn’t waste time nodding that he wants to know. “I’m co-teaching art history with Ren.”

Finn's jaw forms an ‘O’ and you can see him processing the information until finally an epiphany hits. ”I knew he was co-teaching with someone, but I didn’t think it would be art.”

“Well it is,” you lean your head back on the couch and stare at the dropped ceiling and fluorescent lights.

“You know what you need?” Finn asks and you shake your head without lifting it. “A stiff drink.”

“I wish,” you scoff. “But it’s the middle of the day.”

“Maybe, but it’s tradition for all of us to go to Luke’s and get a little sloshed after the first day of inservice. You should come.”

“Luke’s? That’s not in town,” you observe. “In fact, that’s right down the street from my apartment.

“See, it’s a sign you should come,” he smiles and winks.

“Will Kylo be there?”

“‘He has been the last few years so most likely,” Finn explains. “Don’t worry, he leaves early and keeps to himself.”

“Shocker,” you whisper and cross your arms, allowing your eyes to wander across the room that was clearly poorly decorated by a man by the sad posters hanging from the tackstrip. Landing your gaze back on Finn, he jutts his bottom lip out in a playful pout and you roll your eyes in response. “Fine, but one drink,” you agree.


	3. In My Head

Your phone buzzes on the counter top in your bathrooms and you regard yourself one more time in the mirror, taking a moment to straighten your bomber jacket over your camisole and fluffing your hair out over your shoulders.

The text message lighting up your phone is from Rose announcing that they're at the bar and at a booth in the back and that you should come down to meet them down. You had been sure to exchange numbers before leaving school this afternoon to avoid the awkwardness of showing up and not knowing anyone at the bar.

The late August air is warm, but there's a subtle chill to it making you glad that you grabbed a jacket as it'll be necessary later into the evening when you'll be walking home. Cars that you recognize from the school parking lot today fill the street directly outside of Luke's and you open the tinted glass front door. People litter the bar and the high top tables spaced evenly across the room, the sound overwhelming at first as people yell over the loud music. You pin your shoulders back, trying to hide how anxious a full bar of practically strangers makes you feel and make a beeline for the back of the bar where you know Rose is.

"Hey y/n," one of the English teachers you met today greets as you pass and you plaster a smile on to say hello before squeezing past them.

You scan the room, noticing that the bar is larger than you remember, and locate the booth with Rose, Finn, and Poe. As you squeeze past another table, you look up, your eyes catching sight of Kylo. He sits at the bar between two other male teachers, his elbows resting on the bar, his shoulders slumped forward comfortably, the sleeves of the same shirt from today rolled up still, and his hand slowly rotating a short glass with brown liquid in it on the wooden bar top. His eyes are trained on you, hidden slightly below his brow, and once again, you feel as if you can't pull your eyes away from his.

Everything around you moves in slow motion, the conversations around you and the music being piped through the speakers on the ceiling turning to distant murmurs and white noise. The man next to Kylo continues to talk, his hands moving in emphasis but Kylo pays him no attention, just stares at you unblinking and continuing the motion with his glass.

"Y/n!" Rose yells and you snap your head to look at her, fixing your smile that has since faded as you say hi to your new friends and take a seat. "You okay?"

"Uh yep," you lie while straightening your jacket and stashing your purse next to you on the seat. "Just tired after the first day so I'm a little out of it."

"The first day at a new school is always stressful," she agrees and takes a drink of her margarita.

"I'm going to get another round," Poe announces. "What do you want y/n?"

"A beer is fine, just surprise me," you respond and he nods before walking up to the space at the bar only three seats down from Kylo. Kylo looks up at Poe, sizing him up before turning to glance at you over his shoulder.

You draw a quick breath in, feeling like a kid who just got caught doing something you shouldn't, and turn back towards Rose.

"So," she starts and scoots closer to you. "I heard about the bad luck."

"What?" You ask, your mind still preoccupied and foggy.

"Your art history course," she clarifies and slides her thick framed glasses up in her nose. "How you have to teach it with Ren."

"Oh yeah," you acknowledge as Poe sets a bottle of beer from the local brewery down in front of you and thank him.

"How's that going?"

"Well, he was rather presumptuous to begin with and told me he was practically going to run the class and all he needed me for was the hands on application of art materials."

"Well that's rude."

"That's what I thought!" You exclaim and take a drink. "Anyways, I told him no and took over the meeting, divided up the workload evenly and told him not to downplay what I'm capable of."

"Impressive, day one and you stood up to Ren. Finn has worked with him for five years and hasn't even grown the balls to do that yet." Poe marvels and Finn glares are him.

"I'm not afraid of him," Finn argues.

"Yeah? Then why do you let him walk all over you?" Poe argues back.

"Just be careful with him," Rose whispers and breaks off from the men's argument.

"Why?" You ask, your eyebrows pinching together into confusion mixed with concern.

"He's a dark soul and not a nice person. If you stand in his way, he'll level you, destroy you to get what he wants," she looks up at him at the bar, then back at you. "Plus there's all the rumors about him and students but those don't have much basis."

"What rumors?"

"At least one student every year claims that she's sleeping with him, but there's never any evidence and nothing ever happens with it, so we all just assume it's the result of horny teenage girls wanting his attention," she pauses and stirs her drink with the black straw as you take a long, stressed swig of your beer. "Makes you wonder though."

"I guess," you mumble and look over your shoulder at him, noting his body language that is that of boredom as he listens to the same man with bright red hair still talking his ear off.

By 10pm you can feel the effects of the beers Poe keeps buying paired with the shots that Rose bought twice, and decide you need to get home and sober up if you're going to make it through another work day. You slip back through the crowded bar, saying goodbye to the few coworkers who are still here that had introduced themselves throughout the evening and thanking them for making you feel so welcomed.

When you get to the exterior door, you glance back at the bar to where Kylo had been previously seated only moments before, but there's no sign of him. Chalking it up to him using the restroom, you exit the bar without another backward glance, and turn down the sidewalk back to your apartment.

The air has cooled significantly just like you predicted and you shove your hands in the pockets of your bomber jacket and duck your head down out of habit. Your hometown is overall safe, but after living in a large city with high crime rates for the last 8 years, the idea of walking alone at night still makes you nervous.

Two blocks down, you reach your building and turn down the alley that your entry is located in. The small lamp next to your door omits a light yellow hue, and you dig in your purse for your keys as you approach.

A dark figure with his hands in his pockets rounds the corner at the other end of the short alley as you reach your door. You fumble with your keys, adrenaline rushing through you and making it hard for your fingers to work the closer his footsteps get. You try to calm yourself by assuring yourself that he's just passing by and will pay you no attention, but your thoughts are abruptly interrupted by a hand gripping your bicep and spinning you around. The keys that are lodged in the lock are ripped out of your hand and swing up against the hard door, making a loud racket. Your shoulder blades crash into the door behind you, making you positive you'll have bruises there tomorrow and you prepare yourself to fight whoever your attacker is. Kylo's face stares down at you, his face flushed and his hair messy and you still under his grip.

"Kylo what the f-" you begin but are rudely interrupted.

"Get out of my head," he hisses only inches from your face and you can smell the distinct scent of whisky on his breath.

"I'm no mind reader, I'm not in your head," you snap back at him. "Now let me go."

"Since our meeting this afternoon, I haven't been able to get you out of my head," he adds, ignoring your demand.

"That's not my fault," you point out and fight against his grip, but he just moves his hand to press your hip back against the door even more securely and leans into his other hand that is placed firmly next to your head.

"You show up in my classroom, in those tight little pants of yours and nearly see through shirt, then you stand up to me, putting me completely in my place, and you don't expect me to pay notice to you?"

"Once again, this sounds like your problem, not mine."

"I'll make it your problem," he snaps and crashes his lips into yours.

You don't move for a second, the shock of the situation confusing you beyond belief and freezing your ability to function, your eyebrows pulling together, and your hands still hanging at your sides. After months of not being touched by a man, the desire mounts in you nearly instantly, threatening to boil over and completely consume you as his hands move to encase your waste, the sheer strength of them pushing into your soft skin. You're betrayed by your unintentional celibacy over the past months and Kylo can sense it, playing you like a fiddle as a result.

His lips are plush and soft, pulling at yours aggressively and you feel yourself give in further each time he releases yours and roughly takes them back. Allowing yourself to give in completely, you slip your hands up into his dark hair, parting your lips slightly and allowing his tongue in. With a low moan, almost like a growl, he pushes himself up against you, the hardness in his pants pressing up against your hip bone and giving away just how aroused he already is.

Not leaving your lips, his hand fumbles next to you for the keys that are still hanging from the lock. His hand wraps around your back swiftly as his other hand pushes the door open and he steps forwards, taking you with him and pushing your back into the wall next to the small entry table. With his foot, he kicks the door shut and drops the keys on the wooden floor at the base of the stairs that lead up to the rest of your apartment.

Moving down your neck, he assaults your skin with his lips and teeth and slips your jacket off your shoulders leaving you in your light camisole as you work to unbutton a few buttons on his shirt.

"Kylo," you breathe out, trying to catch your breath and stop yourself from losing all self control.

He tears his face away from your collarbone leaving a patch of warmth where his lips previously were. "What do you want?" He demands, his eyes severe and breath mixing with yours. You stare up into his eyes, marveling at the sensation of his rough hands wrapped around your waist and neck, and his hard cock pressed up against you. "What do you want?" He asks again, this time more aggressively and you feel a strange rush of excitement at him being so angry rush through you and heighten the fire between your legs.

"I want you," you whisper and you see his chin twitch in response as you reach to unbutton his shirt completely, never once leaving his eyes.

"Do you want me to fuck you?"

"Yes," you whisper again and push the shirt back off his shoulders where it catches at his elbows that are bent from gripping you so tightly.

"Yes what?"

"I want you to fuck me."

The corner of his mouth twitches and he sizes you up, his eyes raking over you slowly as he revels in his victory. "Take these off," he commands, gesturing at your jeans with his head and shrugging his shirt off his arms, his hands moving to the wall on either side of your head.

Your hands work hastily at the button and the zipper, and Kylo watches hungrily as you pull them down down your legs, removing your sandals in the process.

"Look at you," Kylo purrs as you stand back up, kicking your pants to the side. "So eager."

"Shut up," you order, gripping the collar of his under shirt and greedily pulling his lips back into yours, a moan vibrating between your lips. With little effort, he wraps his hands around your ass and lifts you up, balancing you on the railing at the bottom of the stairs.

His one hand leaves your ass and works at his pants between his legs, releasing himself and gripping it firmly, moving his hand up and down his length.

You tighten your arms around his neck, as he lifts you with his other hand and pushes your thong out of the way, teasing your clit with his tip. You let your head fall back, pleasure coursing through you at the smallest touch and your eyes fluttering shut. After so long the teasing is absolutely torturous and you hate that he is acutely aware of just how crazy he's driving you.

"You're like putty in my hands," Kylo marvels a smile on his lips as he watches you squirm in his arms.

"You're the one that couldn't stop thinking about me," you gasp and tilt your head back down to look at him with a defiant face.

"And I'll make sure you don't stop thinking about me," he retorts and moves abruptly, pushing himself into you with ease, filling you completely until you're seated on him fully.

Your mouth falls open and you struggle to keep your eyes open as he begins his rapid movements, stabilizing your hips against the wall so he can easily pull out of you at an almost glacial pace before slamming back in. The sheer size of him is nothing you've ever encountered before and the sensation of him inside of you is enough to drive you mad. With each snap of his hips, a flat sound of skin on skin rings out, echoing up the stairwell making you glad that you live alone.

His assaults are brutal, pounding you into oblivion, and also drawing you closer to your release more violently and quickly than you have ever experienced. "Fuck you're so-" he mutters, wrapping his hand in your hair and tugging your head back, exposing your neck to him. "So good, so tight, so..." he trails off, his lips meeting your exposed neck and sucking on it harder this time.

Your walls flutter around him, announcing your nearing release to both of you which he responds to with more brutal force. "Fuck, I'm going to cum," you gasp, your breathing shallow and forced from him not allowing you a chance to catch up between thrusts.

"Yes, cum on my cock," he mutters, his voice low, nearly a growl as he leans back to watch you unravel in his arms.

Your orgasm hits you like a truck, your vision going dark and your eyes rolling back in your head. Kylo thrusts through your release drawing out your pleasure and drawing more unrecognizable sounds from you, his hands firmly planted on your back to hold you up where he can see you.

With a grunt, he reaches his release, his cock twitching and pulsing against your walls as you come down off your own high and regain your strength. Your body falls slack against him, your breath shallow. "Holy shit," you whisper as your eyes close and your head falls back against the wall.

Silently, Kylo lifts you, pulling his length out of you, a mixture of your wetness mixed with his own trailing onto your legs and wetting your thong that has since been returned to its original place. With one hand, he secures himself back in his pants before wrapping you in his arms and carrying you up the stairs.

The last thing you remember is the feeling of your plush bed under you, gentle dabbing of a towel on your legs, and a blanket being pulled up to your chin. His fingers brush across your cheek, taking a stray strand of hair and tucking it behind your ear.

Nearly silently, he shuffles back to the stairs, the old steps creaking as he steps, but between the exhaustion from the events previous and the alcohol in your bloodstream, you don't have the energy to move. Following the sound of rustling fabric and your keys being placed in a bowl on the entry table, the door clicks shut, leaving you in silence, and you allow yourself to slip off.


	4. About Last Night

The following morning, you march down the empty hallways of the school as the teachers all trickle in,. Following Rose’s suggestion, you’re dressed more casual with your high waisted jeans, converse and crew neck sweatshirt from your college, a large mug of coffee in your hand.

Knocking once on the door of classroom 208, you push it open, not waiting for his permission to enter, startling Kylo who stands at the front of his room organizing a pile of folders.

“What the fuck was that?” You yell at him as soon as you close the door, your head throbbing from the lingering effects of the alcohol making you sensitive to any and all loud noises.

“Good morning to you too y/n,” Kylo mumbles without turning around. He wears jeans today as well with a perfectly fitting quarter-zip over a white t-shirt. His shoulder blades protrude under the fabric as he works and you gulp as the image of him last night flashes through your mind. His hair tousled and flopping into his eyes as he worked at you, his arms flexing and rippling around you as he supported you with little effort. “Y/n?” He asks and you snap back to reality realizing you were standing in awkward silence. “Can I help you with something?”

“Are you seriously going to play last night off as if it didn’t happen?” You sputter at his coolness and walk closer to the front of the classroom, standing only feet behind him.

“We’re both consenting adults, I don’t understand what the problem is,” he mutters with a sigh and sets the files down. He turns to you, resting back on the table and crossing his legs across each other casually, his dark eyes giving away just how irritated he seems to be with you. “Plus we were both rather inebriated.”

“You practically stalked me!” You yell, throwing your hands up in the air.

“You spent the entire evening making eyes at me across the bar and then didn’t expect me to seek you out?”

“I did not,” you argue, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Oh but you did, and it wasn’t just the whisky making it seem that way,” he chuckles and runs his hand back through his hair. “And last time I checked, I wasn’t exactly hearing any complaints from you last night.”

“You’re despicable,” you mutter and roll your eyes.

Kylo doesn’t say anything just crosses his arms in front of himself and smirks at you again.

“You’re a dramatic one,” he observes.

“Listen,” you say and run your hands back through your hair, Kylo’s eyes dropping to your breasts as you lift your arms. “That was a one-time thing and as far as I’m concerned, it didn’t happen.”

“It didn’t?” His smirk grows, moving up to his eyes which crinkles from amusement. “Because I distinctly remember you screaming and…”

“Okay that’s enough,” you interrupt, your cheeks turning bright red. “This,” you motion between the two of you with your hand. “Can never happen again.”

“Oh?” Kylo raises an eyebrow at you.

“We work together, it’s unprofessional, and I don’t have time for a relationship.”

“I don’t do relationships anyways,” Kylo says flatly with a shrug and you stare at him with your mouth open. You hadn’t been prepared for him to say that and he just derailed the entire speech you practiced on your thirty-minute drive to work.

“So you just make a habit of stalking girls and fucking their brains out in the entryway of their apartments?” You speak a little too loudly and look around praying no one is near enough to the room to have heard you.

Kylo closes the gap between you quickly, pushing you back until your ass bumps against one of the student desks. He leans forward, one hand planted next to you on the desk and the other firmly gripping your jaw. “Keep your voice down or so help me, I will find a way to keep that poison tongue quiet.”

“Is that a threat or a promise?” You sneer back at him and you question where exactly that came from and why you weren’t able to stop yourself from saying it.

Kylo’s eyes visibly dilate and his entire jaw shifts as he dispels a rush of air, a clear sign that you’re getting under his skin. “Depends what you’re into,” he whispers back, his fingers digging into your cheeks roughly. “If you’re aroused by fear,” he growls as he runs his free hand up the side of your leg. “Then a threat. But if you’re aroused by rules, and the consequences that result from breaking them, then it’s a promise,” he whispers, his lips brushing your neck that has since become more accessible as his hand on your leg moves to your inner thigh.

“And what if I’m aroused by both?” You question, your words barely audible through your breath.

“Well then,” he chuckles and pulls back the neck of your sweatshirt, admiring his handiwork from the night previous. “You’re in for quite the treat.”

He moves his face back in front of you, his dark eyes locking with yours and challenging you for your next sentence. Without thinking, you reach up and grab the collar of his quarter zip, pulling him to you, his hands immediately parting your legs and pulling you against him.

Kylo’s fingers snake around your ass, one finger slipping up between your legs and connecting with your clit. Using the seam of your jeans to his advantage, he works at you, drawing gasps and more moans from you involuntarily and you curse yourself for having such a little control when it comes to him.

“Shhhh,” he whispers and takes your lips in his own as he releases your leg and moves his hand under your shirt, locating your nipples and pinching hard. You yelp in response into his mouth and he stifles a devilish chuckle.

A knock on the door startles both of you and he backs up quickly, tucking his quickly hardening member up into his waistband. “Yes?” Kylo yells, moving back to the table and leaning against it.

You work to quickly adjust your shirt and how you’re leaning on the desk to make it look more natural and you watch in horror as the door opens, praying that your cheeks won’t betray you.

“Hux,” Kylo observes as the tall skinny redhead that was talking his ear off at the bar steps into the room.

“Oh hi, I’m Hux,” he says politely and offers his hand for you to shake, Kylo watching with a clenched jaw as your hand fits inside Hux’s and you smile up at him. He’s attractive, a little too skinny for your taste but his even porcelain complexion and red hair contrast perfectly against his blue eyes. “What are you two up to?” Hux asks as he steps back and looks back over at Kylo.

“I’m coteaching Art History with y/n, she was just running some ideas past me,” Kylo explains and shoves his hands casually into his pockets.

“Not that I need his permission when it comes to how I’ll be teaching my lectures,” you point out and cross your arms in defiance. Kylo shoots a look at you across the room in warning to stop arguing back to which you raise an eyebrow, challenging his next move.

“You still in for lunch today?” Hux asks, oblivious to the tension in the room. “I’m putting the order in so I can pick it up around 11.”

“Yes, but y/n, and I will be having a working lunch, so I’ll come to pick it up from you when you get back.”

“Works for me,” Hux says and takes the slip of paper with Kylos order on it from him. “It was nice to meet you y/n,” he smiles at you before turning and stepping out to the hallway.

Kylo doesn’t waste any time closing the door again, this time sliding the emergency lock installed in case of a lockdown shut to ensure that no one will get in. You swallow dryly, a lump forming in your throat as you watch him take slow steps back to stand in front of you.

“What is it you want from me? I don’t know you well but you’re clearly upset with me,” Kylo stands directly in front of you with his arms crossed.

“I-“ you stutter, your words leaving you and you look up at the ceiling above you as you think.

“What?” His irritation is clearly growing and you can see his hand which is clenched under his other arm against his side.

“That’s not me,” you say, not providing any explanation.

His eyebrow raises, his eyes not leaving yours. “What’s not you?”

“Sex with random strangers.”

“I’m not a stranger,” Kylo says cooly, not moving from his spot only a pace in front of you.

“I met you twelve hours prior, you were practically a stranger.”

“Call it what you want,” he shrugs.

You look up at him, observing the sharp line of his brows that angles just slightly and frame his dark eyes. A tear slips out of your eye and you look up at the ceiling in an attempt to stop it.

“Oh god, you’re one of those,” he mutters and turns his back to you, running his hand through his hair.

“Excuse me?” You question and wipe your finger across your bottom lid.

“Emotional and shit,” he mutters and starts sorting the file folders he was going through when you arrived.

“So?”

“So,” he pauses and looks up, but keeps his back to you. “I don’t have time or frankly the patience for that.”

“There is nothing wrong with showing emotion,” you argue.

“To you,” he laughs, shaking his head at the table.

“You know what? I should go,” you snap and push yourself off from the desk having since choked back any tears, instead your anger boiling inside of you again.

Kylo doesn’t say anything or turn to look at you, just continues sorting the folders wordlessly. Flipping the sliding emergency lock back over, you turn and look at him, but he clearly has no interest in the fact that you’re leaving. Returning the favor of silence, you step into the hallway, pulling the door shut until it clicks behind you.


	5. Frustration

Your fingers fly furiously across the keyboard as you type, prepping your lesson plans for your drawing class while you wait for Kylo. Your tense conversation with him this morning has fueled you enough to finish your to-do list for the morning and you’ve already started on the list of things for tomorrow. Maybe it is just simple motivation but maybe your lesson plans are the perfect distraction to forget about him and all of the crazy things he makes you feel and think. 

“Where were you?” Kylo snaps as he walks into your classroom, stopping in front of your desk, computer in one hand, and two cardboard to-go containers in the other. 

You glance up at the yellowed analog clock just past his head, noting that the time reads nearly twenty minutes after the time you had agreed to meet. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know where we were meeting,” you shrug and sit back in your chair with your arms resting on the armrests. Finding the straw to your water bottle, you suck on it innocently, maintaining direct eye contact, and swiveling back and forth in the desk chair. 

Kylo shifts his shoulders and looks up at the ceiling as he lets out a long cleansing breath before speaking. “You have a phone, you could have called my classroom.”

“Well if I’m so incapable of teaching my own class, you can’t surely expect me to know how to operate the phone directory. It is rather complicated after all.” 

“Here,” he snaps as he shakes the top to-go container off of the other, letting it land in front of you, trying his best to ignore your comments but you know you’re getting under his skin. “Hux bought you lunch and wanted me to give it to you.” 

“Aw really?” You smile and reach for the box, revealing a chicken panini and a bag of chips wrapped in paper inside. “Is that so sweet of him?”

“Yeah sure,” Kylo mumbles and pulls a chair over to sit at the table adjacent to your desk. “Did you have a chance to review the changes I made to the syllabus?” He asks as he opens his computer, the blue light illuminating his face. 

“It is nothing like the file left for me by the old teacher. You did more than make a couple of changes,” you point out and take a large bite of the panini and glance up at Kylo, catching him looking directly at your mouth as you chew. His eyes dart back up to yours before he pulls them away and moves back to his computer. 

“The guidelines and procedures put into place by the previous teacher were too relaxed, they didn’t teach the kids any real responsibility,” Kylo explains, holding the shin of the leg that is crossed over his knee giving you a clear view of his crotch. 

“And you think that by having excessively high expectations you’re going to teach them that?” 

“If you don’t challenge them and teach them responsibility, they’re going to go through life thinking they don’t need to try or apply themselves.” 

“Have you never heard of the concept of grace? Second chances maybe? We’re all human, we make mistakes, we miss deadlines, and we’re not perfect.” 

“I don’t believe in second chances,” Kylo says simply and digs around in his salad. You watch the leafy greens as he stirs it with his fork, wondering how someone so large can eat that small of a salad and not be hungry in an hour.

“So you’re telling me then that you never fail?” 

“Rarely, but when I do fail, I let it go and move on. I own my mistake, but I also never try it again. If I couldn’t do it the first time, I’m not going to get it the second time.” 

“I don’t understand how you can have that viewpoint as a teacher. Our whole job is centered around helping students learn from their mistakes.”

“Some people are more adept at things naturally and that’s okay and normal. No point in changing who you are. You can’t tell me that all of your students are great at art.”

“That’s true they aren’t, but I also remind them constantly that we are looking for progress and it doesn’t matter how big of a leap they take in their progress, as long as they’re getting better.”

“Seems like a waste of time if they’re never going to be good at it,” he shrugs and stabs at his salad. 

“That’s a healthy viewpoint,” you mumble under your breath and ignore the feeling of his eyes back on you again as he surely glares at you for your comment. 

You spend the meeting picking apart every little detail of the syllabus, realizing that by the end you haven’t even touched the curriculum and discussed how the first few days of class will run next week and you resign yourself to the fact that frequent meetings with Kylo will be necessary. That fact alone has you conflicted. On one hand, he’s stubborn, selfish, and a pain to work with, rarely willing to budge on anything causing you to have to use too much energy to get anything you want. However, on the other hand, you are enthralled by him, obsessed with every movement and snarky comment that rolls off his tongue, and the idea of nearly daily meetings with him outside of class excites you to no end.

“Oh here we fucking go,” Kylo mutters as you type up the remaining part of the syllabus amendments and he slams his MacBook shut at the sound of someone in heels approaching in the hallway, the steps crisp and defined. “We’ll have to pick this up later, I have somewhere I need to be.” 

“Mr. Ren good to see you,” the Vice Principal greets as she walks into the room wearing an impeccably pressed pencil skirt and button-up blouse. “Considering you won’t answer any of my emails or phone calls, I’m glad I finally caught up to you.” 

“Organa, good to see you,” Kylo mumbles, standing awkwardly as he waits for the Vice Principal to move out of the doorframe. It’s comical to watch him, his body language giving away the idea that a woman half of his size makes him uncomfortable. 

“I’m sure,” she grunts at him and gives him a disapproving look, reaching out and brushing a stray piece of lettuce off of his quarter-zip. “It’s good you’re here actually, I needed to talk to y/n about the student senate and considering your role as advisor...”

“I told you, I have it covered,” Kylo interrupts and you sit back in your chair, observing the strange dynamic between these two. 

“You said that in May, it is now almost September and you still don’t have a second advisor to help, so I’m taking matters into my own hands,” she cuts him off in return and speaks over him, causing him to clamp his mouth shut and give her a chance to speak. “Y/n, the teacher who previously acted as student senate advisor with Ben left last year and we still have yet to fill that position considering his negligence this summer.”

“I’m sure y/n is far too busy trying to assimilate to a new school to take on an extra position,” Kylo argues and you raise an eyebrow, noting that he clearly doesn’t want you to take the position.

“It does come with an extra stipend,” Mrs.Organa adds but only one thing is swirling in your head. 

“I’m sorry,” you say quickly with your eyebrow scrunched. “Who’s Ben? I thought you said Kylo was the other advisor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Ben is…” Leia starts. 

“She said ‘Ren’ not ‘Ben,” Kylo interjects and shoots a look at the Vice Principal which just confuses you even more. 

Leia opens her mouth to respond, looking up at the history teacher who has an intense expression of panic and determination and clearly decides against pressing the issues further. “What do you think? Would you be up for it?” Leia asks you instead.

“I-,” you stutter, not sure what to say. You know you would thoroughly enjoy the position because it was actually something you had expressed interest in at your old school and now it was being handed to you on a silver platter. But at the same time, you know just how stressed you are already, not to mention the added time you would have to spend working with Kylo. Or is that part a bonus?

“As I said, I’m sure y/n has too much on her plate already,” Kylo answers for you. “It’s okay, we’ll find someone else.”

“Actually,” you say quickly, sitting up straighter in your seat. “I’ll do it,” you add and look over at Kylo who has since clenched his jaw shut in anger. 

“Excellent,” Leia says joyfully. “I’m sure you two will work well together.” 

“Mrs.Organa?” A voice crackles through the walkie-talkie clipped to the waistband of her skirt and she reaches to grab it as she backs out of the room. 

“We can talk about the details later,” she assures, walkie-talkie in hand. “Have a great day!” 

“You as well!” You call after her before setting your elbows on your desk, resting your chin in your hands, and smiling up at Kylo. 

Kylo’s face is more rigid than you’ve seen in the last two days, and he looks like he’s about to burst at the seams with anger. 

“I’ll forward the files onto you,” he grunts and walks out of the room without another word, his clear anger and frustration rolling off of him.

“Thank you!” You call after him, stifling a laugh, and sit back in your chair reveling in how fun and just how easy it is to get under his skin. Pushing Kylo’s buttons is exciting and electrifying and you just awarded yourself ample more opportunities to do just that.

—

The remainder of the week passes without a hitch between work time in your classroom, staff meetings, lunches with Rose, Poe, and Finn, and individual working sessions with Kylo. It’s clear every time you two work together just how much you affect him as you catch him constantly staring at you and checking you out, along with the constant tensing of his jaw any time that you challenge him on anything. 

By Friday at 4 pm you’re absolutely spent, but you know before you leave that you need to run copies for Monday morning when the students will return. In the time it takes to finish making copies and collect your belongings, you’re leaving the school about thirty minutes after the rest of the staff members. 

The parking lot is empty except for one single black car at the far end by the south wing where the core subject classrooms are. You assume by the looks of it that it belongs to one of the administrators considering the trim level making it easily worth 50 grand, probably more. 

You reach your car located in the furthest row of the lot and open your back door to place your items neatly on the seat. The sound of tires on the pavement alerts you to a car pulling up behind you with a quiet engine and you turn around in confusion, finding the same black car behind you. 

“Get in,” a voice says as the darkened window rolls down and from the countless hours you’ve spent working with him this week, you know it’s Kylo. 

“Why?” You ask and lean down to look at him across the seats. 

“For once this week can you not be difficult and just get in the damn car?” 

“Fine,” you snap and close your own door, clicking the fob to lock it. “But only because you asked nicely,” you add and open the passenger door, lowering yourself into the sleek car and setting your purse on the floor. 

Before you’re even buckled, he tears away, speeding out of the parking lot and down the back roads located behind the school that is on the edge of town. Eyes trained on the road, he chews on his cheek as he effortlessly navigates the curves at excessive and dangerous speeds. 

“You need to slow down,” you demand, gripping onto the handle of the door. 

“I drive these roads all the time, don’t be so high strung,” he mutters back and turns onto a gravel road.

Due to the lack of rain in the last week, the ground is dry, and the gravel kicks up dust, completely consuming the car and making it hard to see, but Kylo doesn’t let up on the gas. 

At the end of the drive, he pulls onto the grass abruptly and puts the car in park giving you a clear view of your surroundings from this spot. The opening in the trees that the car sits in is large and features a small pond and a construction trailer, but nothing else and you wonder what exactly this place is. Still confused and frankly a little frightened, you angle your upper body to look at him, noticing how tight his jaw is clenched and how there is a vein popping out of his neck

“Kylo, what is-“ 

“Do you know how irritating you are?” He interrupts and you fight the urge to snap at him for always cutting you and other people off as if whatever he has to say is more important.

“Do you? You are just as irritating.”

“Oh? Am I?” He turns to you, a wild and deranged look in his eyes. “Never in my life have I had a week quite as frustrating as the one I just had with you.”

“Last time I checked, we got a lot done, we have a great plan for next week when classes start and we’re ready to kick off homecoming preparations with the Student Senate.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it,” Kylo mumbles, his voice having dropped an octave and his eyes igniting. At that moment you know he isn’t talking about general work frustration, he’s talking about something much more intimate and taboo on school grounds hence the reason behind not wasting any time in getting you off the property and into seclusion. 

“What are you going to do about it then?” You ask, letting your lips part as you regard him, your breath deepening in anticipation. He blinks a couple of times, the skin next to his lip quivering as he thinks, an internal debate clearly displayed across his face.

“Damn it,” he whispers and leans across the center console, taking your face between his hands and crashing your lips together. It’s only been a couple of days, but you missed this, you missed the desperation behind his kiss and the aggression behind his grip, something you never really experienced in relationships before. All past boyfriends and flings were gentle, treating you like a porcelain doll that was extremely breakable. While that care and attention were at times nice, you tired of it quickly, wanting someone to take control and make you scream.

With little effort, he unbuckles your seatbelt and pulls you up and over the center console, your knee banging on the shifter, but leaving the still-running car in park thankfully. Settling on his lap, he reaches to the side of his seat and pushes the button to lower the seat down, not having to worry about moving the entire seat back due to his height. 

Snaking your hands up around his neck and into his hair, you deepen the kiss which he responds to enthusiastically by pushing his tongue even further into your mouth with each movement. 

In a fluid motion, he grabs the bottom of your sweatshirt, tearing it over your head and taking your sunglasses that rested on your head with it. Returning to you, he hungrily kisses you twice before moving down along your jaw and down your neck. You wrap your arms around his shoulders as he buries his head in the hollow space right below your neck, his lips parting and sucking on your soft skin, and you know you’ll have bruises there to join the ones already further down. 

Continuing down, he slides your bra straps off your shoulders, sending shivers through you as he bites on the top of your shoulder, his fingers spread out on your lower back and pressing into your skin on either side of your spine. 

“Stop leaving marks,” you whisper.

“I’m marking my territory,” he mutters back and pulls your bra cup back to take your nipple in his mouth. 

“Didn’t know you were so possessive,” you jeer as you work at the top of his jeans and grind up against his leg. 

“You have no idea,” he growls as you release him from his pants, immediately taking his cock in your hand. Your fingers don’t quite reach around his shaft as you move your hand up and down it, your thumb teasing his tip. Kylo pushes his forehead into your sternum as you work his hands pulling you even tighter against him. “Fuck, you drive me wild,” he whispers, his hot breath landing between your breasts and you look down, taking in the sheer size of him in the light after your exploits in the dark entryway of your apartment. 

Finding the space below your chin again and assaulting it with a dizzying assortment of kisses and bites, he unbuckles your jeans, pulling them down far enough that he can fit his hand in. He runs his finger between your folds, pressing on your clit, drawing a moan from you in response as you find his lips again. 

“You’re so wet,” he mutters against your lips as he plunges two fingers into you, stretching you as he spreads them out and you grind against his hand instinctively. “Do you want me inside you?” 

“Yes,” you gasp without thinking as his thumb connects with your clit, the sensation combining with that of his fingers which are impossibly deep in you already. 

“Take off your pants,” he demands and you move immediately and happily to appease him. You lift your ass off of him, your head nestling in the crook of his neck as you wiggle them off your legs in your cramped surroundings. Impatiently, he grabs the waistband from you, yanking them down with so much force you fear they might rip, and tugging them completely off one leg. “These are just annoying,” he mutters as he grabs your thong and tugs at the seams, ripping them in half and throwing the scraps into the back seat. 

You waste no time lining yourself up, your one hand grasping him, and lowering yourself onto him. You move slowly, much to his distaste, and he grabs your hips, slamming you down until he bottoms out in you, his tip crashing into your cervix.

“Holy shit,” you gasp seeing stars and forcing your eyes back open to look at him.

Using his hands firmly planted on your hips he guides you up and down on him, the movements slow at first but quickly picking up pace as you both feel your pleasure mounting. “This is my pussy now, you understand me?” He sputters, his cheeks flushing and his face tensing as he staves off his release. 

“Yes,” you whisper, the pleasure in you so overwhelming you can barely see straight. 

“Whose is it?” He reiterates with his teeth clenched. 

“Yours,” you respond. “It’s yours.” 

“Fuck yes it is,” Kylo groans watching your breasts bouncing in front of him. “It’s so good, so tight, so ready for me all the time.”

Desperately, you grip the seat behind his head, knowing your release is near. “Are you going to cum?” He asks darkly and you open your eyes to look at him, your faces only inches away. “I want to see you when you cum, watch your eyes dilate, knowing I did that to you, knowing I left that poison mouth of yours speechless.”

“Yes,” you breathe out on the edge of your orgasm. 

Kylo stills your hips, pulling you down on him completely again, your walls pulsing around him. The deep penetration paired with the pause in motion is tortuous and you wiggle in an attempt to continue. “Not yet,” he chuckles, his hair now matting to his sweat-soaked forehead. 

You take in a few more breaths and when you finally feel yourself calm, he thrusts into you, holding your hips firmly still. Kylo doesn’t drop your eyes, just continues his rapid thrusts while watching you intently for your release to hit you. 

Your head pounds, your breath is shallow and desperate as he pounds in and out of you, his cock hitting parts of you you didn’t even know we’re reachable. “Oh my god,” you gasp as your pleasure mounts to release. 

“Look at me while you cum,” he demands and you bring your eyes back to his. “Remind yourself who your pussy belongs to you.”

“It's yours,” you gasp again as he holds you somehow right on the edge. 

“Who’s?” He thrusts harder. 

“Kylo’s, oh my-“ you sputter as he thrusts harder, and your body releases. “Oh Kylo,” you scream, your eyes trying to close at the pleasure but you follow his instructions and hold his gaze. He looks at you with fascination as everything around you seems to stop and you feel like you’re falling, your vision blurring as he thrusts through your pleasure. 

“Fuck,” he whispers as you feel his cock twitch followed by the warm rush of his load being dispelled into you. He leans back on the seat and stops thrusting, his hands releasing your hips enough for you to move. Teasing him, you move up and down on him causing him to scrunch his face up as he comes down from his high and he becomes more sensitive.

“Every time you cross me, just remember this moment and how I made you scream my name,” he mutters with his head still leaning back. “No matter how defiant you are, you can’t help yourself when it comes to my cock.”

“No, I can’t,” you agree and reach up to push his hair back off his forehead.

Kylo’s hand snaps up, encircling your wrist before you have a chance to get to his hair. “We should get you back to your car,” he mutters, his eyes dark again and his grip tight. 

“Okay,” you agree, feeling like the rug was just ripped out from under you, your cheeks turning hot. 

Moving back to your seat over the center console, you look into the backseat for your thong but don’t see it anywhere. “Leave it, I like you better without,” he commands as he puts his seat back up and secures himself in his pants again. 

You don’t argue, just slide the jeans back on and try not to fixate on how strange and uncomfortable it feels. 

The car ride back to the school is uncomfortable and tense, and you spend most of it observing the passing trees and scenery and trying to figure out where you are, but he takes a few too many turns and you lose track. Kylo pulls up to your car, clicking the button below the stereo and unlocking the doors for you. You glance back at him, but he isn’t looking at you, just staring in the direction of the shifter where one hand rests, the other on the steering wheel. 

“Have a good weekend Kylo,” you say sheepishly as you get out of the car. 

“You too y/n,” he says back in almost a grumble and you close the door, the car pulling away almost before it’s latched. You watch him go, your arms crossed in front of you and your purse hanging from your arm, wondering how someone can understand you so well sexually, bring you to your release faster and better than anyone ever has, but then completely tear you down immediately after. It’s confusing and frustrating and makes your head spin as you try to place reason on someone who clearly has no desire to fit inside reasonable social boundaries. 

  
  
  
  
  



	6. Reputation

With ten minutes left of your planning period, you walk down to Kylo’s classroom for Art History which is during 3rd period. When you arrive, there are three minutes left of 2nd period and Kylo sits on a stool in front of the classroom, droning on about something regarding the stock market. The students in the desks look positively bored so you stepping into the room catches all of their attention. 

You make eye contact with Kylo for first the time since Friday evening in the car before you had even gotten off of him, he looks good, too good, too well-rested unlike you who spent all weekend bothered by him and his lack of communication after taking you to some undisclosed location and fucking you. It was good, actually more than good by the way that your thighs burned all weekend, so you’re not complaining, you just aren’t used to dealing with people who are so emotionally distant. 

“For those of you nonart students, this is Ms.y/n,” Kylo says after closing his book and watching you walk across the classroom, set your belongings down at his desk, and taking a seat. “She’s the new art teacher and will be working with me to teach the new cotaught Art History course,” he explains to the room of upperclassmen, his eyes raking up your bare legs that are covered just above the knee by your plaid skirt. 

“Nice to meet you all, hope to see you all down in the specials wing at some point,” you say politely and Kylo rolls his eyes a little with his arms crossed in front of him and you size him up in his light blue button-up and dark blue pants. You wonder if he knows just how good he looks in blue and if that’s exactly why he seems to gravitate to the color. 

The bell rings announcing the student's dismissal and the room erupts into noise as the students gather their belongings and file out of the room, Kylo yelling over them about the reading that they have due tomorrow. 

You read through emails on your computer as Kylo talks with a student and gives them directions to their next class. He turns once the student is gone and walks towards his desk which you have temporarily claimed as your own. 

As he leans forward so he stands over you, your faces nearly in line, you speak, beating him to the punch. “A reading assignment on the first day? Your teaching style just screams F-U-N.”

“Who said you could sit at my desk?” He questions, his shoulders and hair framing his face and you look up at him. 

“I did,” you say with a shrug and return to your email. 

“Don’t forget about Friday y/n and my warning about when you’re defiant,” he whispers and you look back up at him. 

“What was Friday?” you ask with a grin on your face, your eyes opened up in the angelic expression you perfected long before you met him.

“You’re ridiculous,” he mumbles and stands, his cheeks turning red, and he fixes his hair aimlessly on top of his head. 

Students trickle into the room and begin taking their seats at their chosen desks, all of them actively avoiding the desks right in front of Kylo and instead move to those that are further back and hopefully more out of his direct line of sight.

As soon as the bell rings, you’re on your feet, walking out from behind the desk to join Kylo in front of the class. From his stool, you catch him rake his eyes down your torso, stopping to look at the heavy makeup on your neck where you worked to cover up his possessive markings this morning that had thankfully begun to fade. 

“Good morning everyone,” you begin and grab the pile of syllabi to pass out. “I’m Ms.y/n. I’ll be one of your teachers for this course alongside Mr. Ren who you already know teaches history.”

“Obviously one of us brings the beauty and one brings the brains,” Kylo attempts a joke and you spin on your heels to look at him. 

“So what does that leave for you Mr.Ren,” you cock your head to the side, a grin still on your face as you watch his jaw tense and his eyes narrow. The students in the room all of whom are Seniors all chuckle, some of them uttering an “oooo” but are stopped immediately by Kylo shooting a glare at them and standing. 

“Ms. y/n, I assure you the students don’t want to hear us banter about who knows more about the subject.”

“Don’t they?” You look over at the students who all watch you two with a heightened intrigue, then back up at him. “I’m sure their teachers debating the origins of art and the historical significance as it is one of the oldest storytelling methods would be very beneficial to them.”

“As you wish,” he responds and walks back to his notes which rest of the podium. “Is it okay for me to go through the syllabus with them, or would you like to debate this as well.”

“No no, I think that is okay,” you agree and boost yourself up so you’re sitting on his desk. As he opens his notes and syllabus, you catch him out of the corner of his eye look down at your ass on his wooden desk, then back at his notes. 

You listen carefully as he talks through the syllabus, reading every boring word you wrote last week and then explaining it in even further agonizing detail. By the end of the hour, the students look bored beyond belief, not that you can blame them as you yourself are nearly on the verge of dozing off. 

Kylo paces as he drones on about the ins and outs of the grading and classroom policies, the students paying attention to nothing but the slow-moving hand on the clock. You catch yourself watching him, how his pants hug him perfectly in the back, not to mention the front with every step that he takes. Whenever he turns a page, his pec twitches under the thin fabric of his shirt and you can practically feel the sensation of his body against yours. 

The bell-ringing brings you back to reality and you shake your head and blink a few times as you reclaim your thoughts. Kylo follows the students to the door and closes it behind him, clicking the lock on the door shut.

Your nerves kick up and you work to collect your belongings before he can get to you, but you can’t quite get around him in time. “Is this how the entire year is going to go?”

“What are you talking about?” you ask. 

“You challenging me in front of the students,” he clarifies glancing down at your lips. 

“I didn’t challenge you, just minorly teased you. Try lightening up, it makes you more relatable and less,” you motion in front of him with your palm flat. “Scary and tense.”

“You just can’t help yourself around me can you?” He asks in a low voice and steps towards you. 

“Can you?” You counter watch his eyes which are trained on your lips. “You’re the one who wants to kiss me right now.”

“What makes you think that?” He asks and flicks his eyes up to yours. 

“Well for one, my eyes aren’t on my chin,” you place your hand on his chest and pat it twice before trying to slip past him. 

His hand closes around your wrist and he yanks you back. “So what I can’t control myself around you?” He whispers close to your face. 

“School is in session, this is inappropriate,” you respond flatly and work to release your own wrist from his grip. 

“We’ll discuss this after school then,” he responds and finally lets go of your wrist which you immediately begin massaging with your other hand, securing your books under your arm. 

“I have plans that don’t involve being summoned by you,” you snap at him and he raises his eyebrows in shock. 

“Well then,” he responds, his anger rising to just below the surface again. “I won’t keep you any longer.” 

“Thank you,” you respond cooly and walk towards the door, making a point to walk slowly and moving your hips a little more than is necessary, but not looking back at him. 

\---

“So what happened to you?” Finn asks as he shoves a handful of fries into his mouth Friday evening. 

“What are you talking about?” You ask and glance at Poe and Rose for a hint. 

“We all met up for drinks again on Friday, but you never showed,” Poe explains as he shakes ketchup onto his burger. 

“Oh,” you say in the realization that you had made plans with them. “Oh my gosh, I was so tired I completely forgot,” you explain. It wasn’t a lie, when you got home, you had been so exhausted you had showered immediately and sat down on the couch to watch a show, just to wake up in the same spot at two in the morning. 

“No worries,” Rose assures. “It was probably a long week for you. Besides, I’m used to being the only girl with these two losers.”

“We’re just glad you made it this time,” Poe assures and playfully punches your arm. 

“How is it teaching with Ren?” Finn asks, his eyes studying you suspiciously. 

“It’s interesting. We got into a little tif on Monday and he has been icing me out every since.”

“Sounds like typical Ren,” Finn shrugs. 

“You think he’s going to show up again this week?” Poe asks. 

“I hope,” Rose agrees. “That was something else. Actually, the whole situation was just weird.”

“What happened?” You ask your interest peaked that something happened with Kylo last week.

“Oh, it was so entertaining,” Poe laughs and leans forward on his elbows. “Well first Hux showed up with Christie, you know the other gym teacher who works with me right?” he asks and you nod “What was strange is that Hux asked Finn in the bathroom if you were coming to the bar and when Finn said he thought so, he looked excited.”

You raise your eyebrow in confusion and look over at Finn. “Yeah it was weird, seemed like the dude has a thing for you or something,” Finn adds and you feel your cheeks flush at the idea of Kylo’s friend having a crush on you while you’re hooking up with Kylo in secret. 

“But what was so entertaining was when Ren showed up,” Rose continues the story. “Bazine, the edgy little English teacher spent the entire evening throwing herself at Kylo. Eventually, though, they left together after quite a few drinks on her part.”

“What?” You choke on your drink as you process that he possibly hooked up with you and then hours later turned around and hooked up with a different coworker. Is he doing this with others too? Is it just a game to him?

“I mean he has a reputation, it’s really not that surprising honestly,” Rose laughs. “Just funny to watch it happen with people you know and work with.”

“What do you mean ‘reputation’?”

“He’s a known womanizer. He goes through partners like their cheap candy, just throwing them to the side and moving on to the next flavor.” Poe explains and you feel your brows tighten and the comparison to a cheap piece of candy Poe just unknowingly placed on you. 

“This is why I told you to be careful with him,” Rose mumbles in your direction. 

“Yeah,” you agree, “I’m glad you warned me.”


	7. Ruined

Two weeks later on Wednesday, you’re pacing back and forth in the front of Kylo’s classroom, explaining Egyptian mythology and the significance of the art that has preserved these ornate symbols and stories. 

Kylo watches you from the back of the room where he rests on the large heating unit, one foot firmly planted on the floor, and the other resting on a desk seat that he has pulled closer to himself. One arm is crossed in front of him, the other resting on it with his hand curled in a thoughtful pose in front of his mouth. Occasionally his eyes will squint at you followed by a nod of his head as he agrees with what you said. 

Ignoring him proves to be a harder challenge than you thought it would be, and your nerves never fully cease as you continue through the slides of the lecture you spent too long preparing over the weekend. 

At the bell, the students gather their belongings quickly and strike up conversations with each other as they exit the room on their way to lunch. “Ms. Smith, please close the door so Ms.y/n and I can get some work done,” Kylo says darkly from the back of the room to the last girl out of the room. She nods with a polite smile and closes the door behind her, leaving you and Kylo alone in the silent room. Up to this point, you have been able to avoid being in a private setting with no one else since your small disagreement two weeks ago and you curse yourself for not vacating faster. 

Staying away from him had proved to be harder than you believed it would be and you have been in a constant internal battle against yourself as your mind and body work against each other. You don’t know much about him, you have far more carnal knowledge of him than you do mental and emotional knowledge which should have been your first sign of just how much you truly don’t matter to him and exactly why you should stay away from him. There’s no way he really cares about you. 

“You’ve been distant,” he observes and you drop your eyes as you finish collecting your belongings. 

“I’ve been distant?” You clarify without hiding the shock in your voice. 

“Yes.”

“Oh my god,” you whisper in disbelief and turn to look at him. “You propositioned me for sex after work and I turned you down. You’ve treated me like shit ever since.”

“I have not,” he argues. 

“Oh, but you have. I mean it’s really no different than the way you usually speak to me because honestly, you’re always kind of an insufferable asshole.”

“You know you wanted it too,” he whispers as he pushes off from the heating unit and walks towards. You hate when he does this, walking as if you are his prey that he is stalking to kill for his next meal, but at the same time, you love it, it immediately ignites a fire between your legs and it takes everything in you to not pounce on him. 

“You don’t own me and you know don’t get to summon me whenever you want sex.”

“I didn’t summon you,” he smirks and looks down at you. 

“You practically did,” you argue and cross your arms. 

“Y/n, you don’t understand,” he starts, feigning a laugh. “If I summoned you as you like to say, you wouldn’t be able to resist, you know why?” He pauses and you look up at him, waiting for him to continue. “At the end of the day, you’ll do whatever I want,” he whispers and leans in next to your neck, letting his breath tickle your skin and eliciting an even more tortuous heat between your legs. “I know your pussy begs for me every night when you lay in bed thinking about me. I’m in your head, just like you’re in mine. You can’t get rid of me, and you can’t deny that no one has or will ever live up to the way I make you feel throughout your entire body all the way down to your fingertips.” As he talks, your eyes flutter shut and your lips part as your breath deepens. “Even if you tried to fuck someone else, I’m all you’d be able to think about. You’re ruined. But you’re ruined for me. Surrender y/n, let go,” he whispers directly in front of your face and you open your eyes. 

His eyes are only inches from yours providing you a clear view of the flecks of gold, green, and black that intertwine with the brown base color of his eyes. Looking down, you study his lips, the soft curves of the plump red flesh. “You’re mine, stop denying it,” he adds, your eyes still trained on his lips. 

You look up at him, lines forming between your eyes as you process what Rose had told you the other evening. “How’s Bazine?” you ask simply and his eyes open further in shock. 

“What?”

“I’m not yours, I never will be,” you snap and collect the rest of your things, rushing past him to the door and sprinting into the hall before he has a chance to stop you. 

The hallway is mostly clear of students now that they’re in the lunchroom, providing you little coverage in case Kylo attempts to follow you.

“Y/n!” A voice yells but thankfully you recognize that it doesn’t belong to Kylo. The skinny redhead history teacher you had met and talked to briefly in the faculty lounge jogs to catch up to you, stopping a few feet ahead of you. 

“Hi Hux,” you say politely and shift your laptop and book in your arms. 

“Please, call me Armitage,” he says with a smile and you smile back with a nod.

“What can I help you with?” 

“Well,” he looks over his shoulder nervously and then back down to you. “I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable, feel free to say no, but I was wondering if you would possibly like to grab dinner with me on Saturday? My treat.”

“Like on a date?” You question, shock freezing you in your tracks. 

“Kind of yeah,” he shrugs with a smile and shoves his hands in his pockets. 

“I don’t know what to say, I’m very flattered,” you stall, not sure how to answer him. You hadn’t really looked at him that way, just knew immediately that he wasn’t your typical type, but at this point, you aren't even sure what your type is. Maybe branching out a bit would be a good thing? “Okay,” you agree with a hesitant smile.

“Yeah?” Hux verifies. 

“Yes,” you confirm again, stifling a laugh at how excited he is. 

“Okay,” he breathes out. “Excellent. Would you like me to pick you up?” 

“I live right down from Luke’s,” you inform him in hopes that’ll change him wanting to come to your apartment. 

“Even better. We can meet there and then walk to Maz’s steakhouse.”

“Ooo fancy,” you laugh, still uncomfortable. 

“Does seven work for you?” Hux asks and you nod again. “Perfect, see you then,” he says with a smile and leans in to kiss your cheek which catches you by surprise especially considering you’re standing in the middle of the hallway. As he pulls away, you look over his shoulder, catching sight of Kylo as he steps out of his classroom with a pile of papers in hand, his eyes meeting yours, a hint of what seems like jealousy present in his gaze as he watches you with Hux. 

“Bye,” you smile and pause. “Armitage,” you say with purpose, making it clear that you’re on good enough terms for first names before turning and continuing with an even quicker pace down the hallway. 

— 

Saturday evening you stand in front of the mirror putting the finishing touches on your makeup after curling your hair. You had spent significantly more time getting ready for this date than you had planned but after your long-term relationship followed by a string of frivolous flings, you weren’t exactly back in the swing of the dating world yet. 

With a sigh you slip your heeled boots on that will give you an extra couple of inches on him since he is nearly the same height as Kylo and dwarfs you significantly. Last night you had barely slept, the feeling that you shouldn’t be going on this date gnawing at you, but figured that maybe it would be a good way to get the image of Kylo and Bazinne out of your head

Every fiber in your being tells you this isn’t going anywhere, and before you even started getting ready earlier, you had begun formulating how you would tell him that. Hux is nice, a little stuffy and awkward, but overall you don’t mind him and you don’t want to ruin another coworker relationship within the first month. You already can’t be around Kylo without wanting to either scratch his eyes out and or jump his bones, the last thing you need is to let something wrongly go too far and add to the clusterfuck that is your daily work life. 

“How do I look, Bee?” You ask the plump little cat that lounges on the bed and watches you curiously, rolling onto his back and chirping at you in hopes that you’re about to pet him. “You always say the right things,” you add and roll your eyes at yourself for talking to your cat as if he knows what you’re saying or even cares for that matter. 

The wind has chilled and the leaves have started to fall now that it is mid-September and you rush to Luke’s ten minutes late and locate Hux at the nearly full bar. He looks good, put together in his dark wash jeans and grey striped button-up with a few buttons left open at the top, but not good enough for you to get over your clear lack of attraction to him.

“What can I get you?” A man with sandy grey hair and piercing blue eyes asks from behind the counter.

“A beer is fine,” you answer as you hang your purse on the back of your chair.

“Gotta be more specific,” he adds.

“Surprise me,” you answer confidentially and he winks at you as he turns to the cooler. 

A moment later he’s cracking the bottle cap off and setting it in front of you, revealing a craft brew from a brewery you used to live near upstate. 

“That’s Luke,” Hux says quietly after the bartender has sorted out who’s tab to put the drink on with you and Hux. “The owner. And Ren’s uncle.”

“Really?” You ask and size the bartender up looking for any amount of obvious relation. 

“You won’t find any similarities, he looks more like his dad’s side.” 

You nod as you take a drink, still watching Luke curiously, wondering if Kylo’s family is from the area, why have you never heard of him before?

“Speaking of Ren,” Hux mumbles and you perk up wondering what he’s about to say. “He was pretty tweaked when I told him we were grabbing dinner tonight.”

“You told him?” 

“Yes?” He raises an eyebrow at you. “Should I have not?” 

“No it’s okay,” you quickly recover and turn to him giving him your full attention. “What did he say?”

“He got all stiff and rigid like he always does when he’s uncomfortable. Then he started sputtering something about how he thinks you’re seeing someone else. But don’t take that as me accusing you of anything!” He quickly recovers. 

“You’re okay, I know you’re not,” you assure him and take a drink of your beer, watching as the door at the back of the bar opens and Kylo walks through carrying a keg. 

“So…” Hux prompts next to you and you have to peel your eyes away from Kylo to look at him. 

“You’re wondering if I’m seeing someone else,” you laugh and look over at him nodding sheepishly. “I’m not seeing anyone, I promise. At the beginning of the school year, I was, but it didn’t work out,” you explain, your eyes following Kylo as he walks behind the bar to hook up the keg wearing a black T-shirt, a direct contrast from what he usually wears. Does he work here part-time? And if so, why have you never figured that out?

“What happened if I may ask?”

“Oh the usual,” you shrug and let your eyes trail up to Kylo who stands across the interior of the bar, leaning over the keg, the veins of his arms bulging out as he cranks the top onto it. “Turned out to be an asshole, only wanted me for sex,” you mutter, Kylo’s eyes still glued to yours as if he’s listening to the conversation, even though only Hux can hear you. 

“I’m sorry,” Hux offers, unsure of what else to say. 

“It happens,” you shrug in response and throw the rest of your beer back aggressively, anxiously wanting to get out from under Kylo’s intrusive gaze. “Dinner time?”

—

By the time dinner is done, you’ve confirmed your distinct conclusion that while Hux is nice and friendly, that’s all he is, just a friend. While he was talking, you caught yourself oftentimes getting sidetracked, your mind running to none other than Kylo of course. 

Stepping out of the restaurant, Hux slips his jacket off and holds it over both of your heads the best he can to help keep you dry. By the time you reach your apartment, your clothes are damp, and the bottom of your hair is wet due to the jacket not really doing much to block the rain. 

You unlock the door quickly and step inside, clicking the entry light on and tossing your keys into the bowl on the small table. Hux stops behind you, waiting as you slip your own jacket off and hang it on the hook with his hands shoved into his pockets.

“I had a great time tonight,” you say politely, making it clear that you aren’t going to invite him in. 

“Yeah me too,” he agrees and sticks his hands into his pockets, taking a step back towards the door and looking around uncomfortably. “I should be going.” 

“Drive safe,” you say politely as he opens the door again and you cross your arms across your stomach. 

“So, I’m getting the vibe that there won’t be a second date?” He asks with a sheepish chuckle to his voice. 

“I’m sorry,” you say sincerely. “You’re great, I just don’t see this as more than friends.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he assures and waves his hand that it’s okay as he takes another backward step, leaving him outside. “Worth a shot. Would have kicked myself if I didn't at least try.” 

“Good night Hux,” you say softly with a smile and lean out the door to kiss his cheek.

“Good night y/n,” he reciprocates and walks down the alley back to the street. 

Your shoes and pants are soaked clear through and you sit on the bottom step to remove your shoes before you walk upstairs to avoid leaving a trail of water. Just as you get yourself bent down and seated on the bottom step, your wet pants constricting the range of motion of your legs, a knock comes from the other side of the door. 

“Did you forget something?” You yell and stand up again, shifting the wet fabric on your leg and opening the door expecting to see Hux. His hood is up and he glowers at you from under it, his hands clenched tightly in his pockets, the rain running off the hood and wetting his hair that sticks out from under it. “Kylo.”


	8. Not What This Is

“Kylo,” you gasp, your feet frozen in fear, your eyelids the only part of you moving as you register exactly who is standing in front of you. 

“Hux? Really?” He snaps at you.

“It’s not what it looks like,” you explain but are cut off before you can provide any real explanation. 

“Really? Because it looks like you went on a date with one of my closest friends.”

“Can you just come inside and we can talk about this,” you offer but he doesn’t budge. “Kylo, for once can you not be difficult and just come into the damn house?”

Kylo’s eyes look like sunken holes in the dark rainy surroundings but you swear you can see his lip quirk as if he’s fighting a smile as he steps forward knowing he said the same thing to you weeks prior. You motion for him to hand you his jacket as he steps in and you hang it on the hook, pulling the rug over for it to drip onto instead of the hardwood floor. 

“Come in,” you invite and walk up the stairs, joined shortly after by a second set of feet creaking up the old stairs behind you once he has removed his soaked shoes.

“Would you like anything? I have water, coffee, or beer,” you offer with the fridge open while he finds a spot to sit on a stool that looks much too small for him.

“Beer is fine,” he mutters and you grab two of the green bottles, sliding one to him across the granite island and leaning forward onto your elbows. 

Kylo wordlessly stops the bottle, immediately twisting the top off of it, the bottle cap clattering across the island, and tipping it back to take two long swigs of it, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he does so. With a sigh, he lowers the now half-empty bottle and sets it back on the counter, allowing his eyes to meet yours again. 

“You look good tonight,” he mutters, his tone and words are nice but his face tells a different story. He’s on guard, protected, even a little angry still. 

“Thank you,” you answer softly and wrestle with what to say to him next. “You should know Kylo, I’m not into Hux, like at all.” 

“But you went on a date with him anyway?” 

“It was partially loneliness, partially curiosity, and partially wanting to make you jealous,” you ramble, too much information slipping past your lips, and his eyes shoot back up to yours, his chin twitching a touch. “Hux and I talked when he dropped me off. We’re just continuing as friends, nothing more. He’s a good guy, just not my type.”

“Why were you trying to make me jealous?” Kylo asks, ignoring the rest of what you said. 

“I wanted to feel like you cared about me.” 

“You know I care about you,” he says quickly and slightly on the defense. 

“Do I?” 

Kylo stares at you, his face rigid and unmoving except for one singular gulp and a few steady blinks. You can feel yourself melting under his gaze, completely unraveling before him, and falling into his trap yet again and you attempt to claw your way back out, knowing that it’s entirely useless.

”What do you want from me?” He asks, breaking the silence. “Do you want me to be your boyfriend, is that what you want?”

“I- I don’t know,” you stutter, tears pricking the back of your eyes. 

“I told you I don’t do the relationship thing. You don’t want me as a boyfriend, you’ll end up hating me.”

“More than I already do?” You snap. 

“You don’t mean that,” he says, his voice dropping to nearly a whisper, the air heavy between the two of you. 

“Are you going to call my bluff?” You challenge, letting your words hang in the stillness of the room, the only sounds audible is that of the rain plinking against the window. 

“Yes,” he finally answers, standing up and quickly rounding the island, closing the gap between you in a couple of strides. “Yes I am,” he whispers as he grabs your face roughly and pulls you against him, his lips already hungry and hot as he kisses you. 

Wasting no time, Kylo grabs you around the waist and hoists you up onto the counter, the granite cool through your wet jeans. He tugs you close until your fronts meet and you wrap your legs around him. 

“What..” he mumbles and pulls away looking down at his feet. “You have a cat?”

“Uh, yes,” you mutter as you lean forward, looking at Bee who is rubbing against Kylo’s legs and purring loudly. 

Kylo takes a step back, keeping one hand on your thigh and shoving the other in his pocket uncomfortably. He awkwardly stretches his leg out towards the round white cat, meeting him with the bottom of his foot. Bee responds by sniffing his foot that is concealed in a black sock and then bunting his head into it, another loud purr showing his acceptance of Kylo’s presence. 

“You’re not a cat person are you?” You laugh watching Kylo’s face scrunch up at the strange moment between him and this small feline. 

“Not overly no,” Kylo mumbles, still watching Bee rub on his foot affectionately. 

“He’s harmless and loves everyone, but I can lock him in the bathroom with his food and box if you’d like?” You ask and jump down from the counter. “Come on Bee!” you say in a happy voice not waiting for a response from Kylo, the cat following you happily hoping that he’s going to get a treat. 

You place two treats on the floor of the bathroom, checking that he has food and water along with a toy. Kylo follows you, watching from the hallway as you bend down and pet the cat’s head and scratch behind his ears, small sounds of affection and cooing coming from you and mixing with the happy sounds of the cat. 

“Better?” You ask as you close the door behind you, leaving the two of you in the dark hallway again.

Kylo doesn’t answer, instead, he desperately crashes his lips back into yours and backs you up against the door of the bathroom that you just closed. 

“It worked,” he hisses and you scrunch up your eyebrows as you sling your arms around his neck. 

“What worked?”

“You made me jealous, I haven’t slept since Hux told me about your date. The jealousy consumed me,” he mutters against your skin as he kisses at your neck. 

“Like when I found out about you and Bazine?” 

“That was innocent,” he hisses and pulls his face back up to look you in the eye. “We graduated together, we’re both alumni of the high school, and now she lives a couple of condos down from me.”

“You didn’t hook up?”

“Wasn’t even a thought on my mind,” he assures you. “I was far too preoccupied with the events in the car only a few hours before to even think about another woman.”

“Oh,” you whisper and drop your eyes to his chest. 

“We’re even now,” he whispers, gripping your chin and angling it sharply up to look at him. “But I still need to deal with you for playing games with me.”

“Do you?” you challenge and his jaw clenches in response, a rush of air dispelling from his nose. 

Kylo bends over and grabs the back of your legs quickly, pulling you up and wrapping you around him, his one hand supporting your ass and lower back and the other tangled up in your hair as he roughly kisses you. 

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you won’t walk straight for a week,” he growls right up against your neck. “That’s what you get for being a bad girl and playing games,” you feel yourself winding tight as he pulls your head back even further, the sound of your breath filling both of your ears. “Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” you choke out. 

“You know why?”

You shake your head no, even though you know that he isn’t looking for an actual answer. 

“Because deep down under that defiant front you put up, you’re a greedy little slut who enjoys getting under my skin,” you gulp and look at him out of the corner of your eye. “Am I wrong?” 

“No,” you choke out another singular word.

“Good,” he releases your head and you bring it back to look at him head-on. “Now strip,” he orders and releases you back to the ground. 

“Yes sir,” you respond and pull your shirt up and over your head, letting it drop on the floor. Kylo watches from a step away, his eyes wild and deranged as he rubs himself through his pants where you can see a clearly defined outline. The heavy Jean fabric of your pants sticks to your skin, but you roll them off your legs, kicking them to the side. 

“I don’t even know why you bother with those,” he mutters as you pull your thin thong down, exposing you completely. 

“Now crawl,” he orders and you raise an eyebrow at him, barely believing that he just demanded that. “Do it.” 

You look at him, noticing how he is nearly panting at the sight of you naked in front of him, your defiant side taking over again. With a smirk, you turn, walking to the kitchen and ignoring his demeaning demands. 

You barely reach the island again when his hands meet your hips and he pushes you forward onto the granite top, your cheek meeting it with a slap, your cheekbone painfully pulsing from the collision. Gripping the back of your neck with his hand he leans forward and whispers into your ear. “You defiant little brat,” he hisses and stands up. 

You can hear him moving behind you, his one hand still planted on your lower back when a sharp pain rips through you with a crack of flesh on flesh. Your right ass cheek throbs and feels hot from the impact of his hand. A cry escapes your lips and you reach out in front of you to grab the edge of the island on the other side. 

“If you need to stop, say so, I’ll stop,” he mutters, giving you permission to stop him and allowing you to feel safer. 

Kylo’s hand connects with your skin again and you draw another sharp breath in, a tear escaping your eyes on the left. “Do you like that?” 

“Yes,” you gasp. 

“Good girl,” he mutters and collides his hand with the unmarked cheek. “Teach you to not challenge me,” he growls and reaches in front of you, sneaking his hand between your legs, his other hand still caressing your ass. 

With your breasts flattened against the cool stone, you rest your forehead on it, gripping the edge of the counter even harder as he aggressively rubs your clit, the circular motions causing your legs that are barely planted on the floor to shake. In a fluid motion, he plunges two fingers into you as deep as they can go and slaps his hand into your skin again on your ass. You let out a scream which echoes off the countertop and through the room. 

“Mmmm so greedy,” he mutters next to you as he works his fingers inside of you at a brutal pace. -crack - crack - crack - he lines up three more slaps in sync with his fingers thrusting deep inside of you and you feel your walls respond and tense around him hard. 

“Look at you, so close already,” Kylo observes as he continues his brutal movements and then removes his hand from between your legs and moves it to your mouth. “Suck,” he orders and you take his fingers inside of your mouth, tasting your juice on his rough fingers. Your tongue running circles around them, his fingertips nearly reaching the back of your throat and almost eliciting your gag reflex. His hand collides with your ass again and you suck harder, moaning around his fingers. 

“What do you want?” He whispers and takes his fingers away from your lips roughly.

“I want you to fuck me,” you choke out, still gripping the edge of the counter. 

“I could do that, but why would I give you what you want?” He mutters and you hear him moving again, but he’s completely out of your peripheral vision, causing nerves to rise in anticipation. 

Kylo’s hands caress your ass, squeezing hard and admiring his handy work before he flips you over, your back coming to contact with the granite. Dropping to the floor between your legs, he places your feet on his shoulders before plunging his tongue between your legs with no warning. Your body twitches in response, your hands moving up the edge of the counter, your knuckles turning white as you grip. 

He moves in calculated and methodical movements, his hands holding your hips at an angle for him to wrap his lips around your clit with his tongue running circles around it, and down to your entrance. 

“Kylo,” you gasp, feeling your body responding rapidly as he works you. 

“Scream it, let the world know who’s pussy this is,” he growls and plunges his two fingers back into you, his mouth still working your clit. 

You can feel the tension building in you, ready to explode at any moment as all of the sensations mix together, completely overwhelming you. With your eyes barely open, you look down at him, his eyes dark, and watching you like a lion watches its prey before striking. 

It’s all too much for you to handle, and your orgasm takes you, your limbs shaking around you, and unrecognizable screams mixed with his name falling from your lips. He brings you through your release, not letting you come down and moving you quickly to overstimulation. 

Standing up, you hear the zipper of his jeans and he grabs your hips again, flipping you back over so you’re face down on the island again your toes coming barely into contact with the cool wooden floor. With no warning this time, he slams into you, your walls still flexing from your orgasm, filling you completely until you can feel him in your belly button. 

It’s overwhelming and you can feel tears escaping your eyes as he begins his motions. You fight the urge to stop him, your body becoming so tired from over-exhaustion, but you grit your teeth to push through the overstimulation, waiting for it to turn back into pleasure. No man has ever treated you like this and while it’s new, it’s exciting and electrifying.

You can feel each thrust in every part of your body, your head throbbing in response, and your eyes rolling back as Kylo pulls out and slams back in over and over harder and tougher than you have ever experienced. “This pussy was made for me,” he sputters through his own pleasure. “The perfect size, everything about it perfect,” he adds and presses down on your shoulders, pushing your face even harder into the granite. 

“You need to ask my permission before you cum. Even when I’m not here,” he grunts low, continuing through his thrusts. “If you think you’re going to cum, you better fucking call me.” 

“Yes sir.”

“What? I didn’t hear you,” he pants. 

“Yes,” you gulp as you near your second release, impressed by how fast he’s able to bring you to it again. “Sir,” you gasp.

“Good little slut,” he hisses and slams into even harder which you didn’t realize was possible. 

You can feel your pleasure building in your stomach, your legs threatening to give out, “I’m going to cum,” you gasp. 

“No, not yet,” he argues, keeping up with his brutal pace and drawing involuntary noises and gasps from you. 

“Kylo please,” you plead with him. 

“No,” he snaps back, snapping his hips into you, slamming your hip bones against the hard surface and surely bruising them. His hand finds your hair, pulling back on it so your neck and back are arched and you have to hold yourself up, your teeth gritted as you fight your orgasm from taking over. 

“Kylo,” you gasp.

“Cum for me,” he demands and on cue your second orgasm rips through you, completely immobilizing you and you lose control of your whole body. Your vision is white and your hearing turns to that of almost static as he thrust through his own release and you can feel the wetness running down your legs. 

“Good girl,” he whispers and pulls out of you sharply, another gasp escaping you at the sudden emptiness between your legs. “Such a good girl,” he purrs as he grabs a paper towel and wipes you off, then himself, and zips his pants back up. 

You stand up, discombobulated, and looking for the clothes that you forgot are further down the hallway. Kylo grabs a blanket from the basket behind the couch that is a few steps away and holds it open for you to wrap into. “Are you okay?” He whispers as his arms and the blanket wrap around you. 

“Yes,” you whisper back with a nod and pull the soft fabric tighter around you. 

He holds you for a moment, letting both of your breath settle before his arms release from around you, leaving you longing for more physical touch. 

“I should go,” he mutters and fixes his hair. 

“Stay,” you blurt out and immediately curse yourself for the desperate sound in your voice. 

Kylo regards you for a moment, the face of a conflicted man looking back at you. “Y/n,” he says your name with such gentleness. “You know that’s not what this is.”

You drop your eyes, your cheeks burning hot as embarrassment sweeps over you and he steps back to you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll let myself out,” he whispers and kisses the top of your head. 

You don’t move, your feet stuck in place, refusing to watch him leave, but listening to the sounds of his feet on the stairs followed by the sound of the door after he slips his coat and shoes on. 

Padding back to the bathroom, you open the door, letting out Bee who waits patiently, immediately rubbing against you with a loving purr. You step over the cat, pull the shower open and step in, not waiting for it to warm up, and submerge yourself under the water, willing it to wash away your shame and forget about the events that just transpired.


	9. Vulnerable

You stand next to Kylo with your arms crossed and your back leaning up against the padded wall under the basketball hoop. His close proximity teasing you as all you can smell is his intoxicating cologne even over the overpowering smell of the gym that strongly resembles unwashed socks.

Each grade level of students was allowed to create two coed teams for the dodgeball tournament tonight, and being the Student Senate Advisors, you and Kylo were the supervisors for the night, along with having been drafted to be a part of the staff team that the winning student team would play in a championship round.

Next you, you’re thrown off by seeing Kylo in something you have never even imagined he owned, joggers, and tennis shoes. Something so simple and so normal for people to wear has you so thrown off and so distracted and you can’t seem to pull your focus away from it. Between his T-shirt that hugs his arms and tapers into his waste and his joggers that follow the line of his legs loosely, your mind runs wild every time you look at him or he bends over to pick up a stray ball and throw it back to the game, the muscles in his arm rippling at the follow-through and making you nearly salivate.

Of course, your choice of leggings and T-shirt probably isn’t helping him either considering how much just your everyday dress pants affect him. You had tried to pick a shirt you thought would cover your ass for modesty purposes considering you would be around your students all evening, but you are still finding that the fabric likes to ride up in the back and you’ve gotten sick of trying to tug it back down.

“Nice to see you participating in something for Homecoming finally,” you break the silence between the two of you that has been present for most of the evening along with most of the week.

“It bothers you that I don’t participate in dress-up days doesn’t it?”

“A little,” you admit. “You’re one of the advisors, it’s practically in the job description that you participate in all events and dress-up days.”

“If that was in the job description, I definitely would have never accepted the job.”

“I bet you’re a real kick to have at parties.”

“You’d be amazed,” he says with a sly tone to his voice. “You didn’t know me in college.”

You feign a fake shocked gasp. “Does the great Kylo Ren know how to have fun?”

“Shocking right?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” you tease and he rolls his eyes, letting out a rush of air resembling a laugh.

“Hi Mr. Ren,” a petite student walking with two of her friends greets him as they pass in front of you two still leaning against the wall. Kylo nods at them professionally with a curt hello causing them to blush as they rush away, exchanging hushed whispers and peaking at him over their shoulders.

“You’re a popular one with the girls,” you observe watching them walk quickly away. You remember what Rose had said and how there’s always a rumor about him sleeping with female students almost every year, and you wonder if there is any basis to that rumor at all. Every time you see him interacting with any students, he is beyond professional, almost rude at times, and absolutely showing no interest in them. On the other side of that though, there is a clear fascination from the girls when it comes to him, always attempting to flirt, and trying to make sure he notices them, just to be visibly disappointed when he doesn’t.

“You act as if you aren’t popular with the boys as well,” he counters flatly, his eyes scanning the gym. “Actually you seem to be pretty popular with more students than just the males from my observations.”

“And how does that make you feel Mr.Ren?” You whisper keeping your head turned out towards the game in front of you being reffed by Poe.

“Well Ms. y/n, it just strokes my ego knowing that I get what all of those young minds can only dream of.”

“Oh?” You chuckle and look up at him, noticing how there’s a small smirk on his face as well.

“Mhmm,” he mumbles and you can see his Adam’s apple bob.

You can feel a question rising in you and you try to choke it back almost, praying that you can hold it down until the feeling passes like a young kid in a kindergarten class who ate a little too much at lunch and prays they can make it through storytime with hurling. Alas, you’re too weak as the words slip off your tongue, and you immediately clamp your mouth shut. “Are we just going to pretend Saturday didn’t happen?”

Kylo lets out a long sigh and you turn back forward, heat pooling in your cheeks at the same embarrassment you felt that evening rearing up. “Why do you insist on rehashing everything?”

“I don’t,” you try to argue but he interrupts you.

“I was under the impression we were having fun,” he speaks low enough that you can hear him but no one else can. “I was perfectly clear that I don’t do relationships.”

“I know,” you mutter and drop your eyes to the floor, taking your bottom lip into your teeth and distracting yourself with the final two players on one side of the game trying to survive and get their team back in.

“What are you doing this weekend?” Kylo asks unexpectedly and you clench your jaw in shock. Is he really asking what you’re doing? Is this a weird way for him to possibly ask you on a date?

“Well, we both have to help set up for the dance Saturday and then chaperone that evening, plus we have the parade and football game on Friday.”

“Maybe you can find a time to pencil me in between all of that?” He looks down at you, a glimmer of vulnerability on his face but his poster is still closed off and professional in front of the students.

“I think I can do that,” you agree with a smile and hold his eye contact, unwilling to look away from him yourself and willing him to do it instead so you don’t have to.

The final sophomore student gets out of the game and the bleachers where all of the seniors sit erupt in cheers and applause as their team of classmates celebrates on the floor.

“Alright staff, make your way to the gym floor please,” Rose announces cheerfully through the microphone that rests in front of her at the announcer stand where she has been positioned all night and you both push off of the wall to join the rest of the staff members that have been drafted onto the team for the night.

\--

“Ms. Y/n!” A panicked voice says as they rush up behind you, their heels clicking on the floor loudly and not very gracefully.

“Brook, what’s wrong?” You ask as you continue rearranging the refreshment table in front of you, knowing that whatever is this girl is so worked up over is probably a very small issue.

“It’s the DJ, we ran over his extension cord and accidentally cut the power to his booth and I don’t know what to do,” the girl rattles off and you wait for her to stop.

“It’s okay, I’ll go find a cord, how long of one do we need?”

“I don’t know, like 20 feet?” She says, panic still written clearly across her face.

“Relax, I’ll go find one okay?”

“Okay,” she agrees and rushes back into the gym with her dress flouncing around her.

You turn and walk down the hallway between the two gyms knowing you had heard Kylo come in this door a few minutes ago and figuring he’ll know better where to find a cord than you. The further down the hall you get, the clearer his voice becomes, accompanied by another voice, this one belonging to a female.

Reaching the end of the hallway, you round the corner and step out into the foyer between the two gyms on the other end that connects to the rest of the school up the stairwell on the far wall. Kylo glances up at you at the sound of your heeled ankle boots on the tile floor then back at the Vice Principal who is dressed up a touch more than her normal school day apparel.

His eyes shoot back to you as he takes a doubletake, raking up your figure from your black ankle boots to your long sleeve maroon wrap dress with a neckline you pinned shut to make it more school appropriate.

“Good evening y/n,” Vice Principal Leia greets you with a smile plastered on her face as she looks from you then up at Kylo who is still looking at you wordlessly.

“Good evening,” you respond politely to her and look up at Kylo as well. “I need your help finding a cord. Brook is in a frenzy because she ruined the cord the DJ brought.”

“Okay,” he says and runs his hand back through his hair. “Uh absolutely, I’ll show you where they are in the storage room,” he recovers quickly and drops his eyes from yours. “Organa, we’ll have to finish our conversation later,” he nods to her and she agrees happily, a smile on her face as she continues looking between the two of you. You had spent some time getting to know her the last month of school and you could admit you really like her. Leia is so nice, always very cheery, but at the same time, passionate and quick to put people in their place. Your respect grew very quickly for her and she kind of has taken you under her wing, making sure to stop by and check on you regularly and asking how you’re doing.

Kylo turns and walks further down the hallway, one hand in his pocket, the other tensed next to him. You size him up as you walk, talking in his black dress pants with a brown belt, white dress shirt, and black tie. After the dodgeball tournament and then again after the game, you had thought that maybe he was going to ask you over, but the cards had not fallen in your favor that evening as you two parted in the parking with no signs of affection, just cold and civil goodnights, driving back to your own private residences.

The hot and cold act with him is exhausting as one minute he’s eye-fucking you from across the room, flirting with you quietly in his strained style of banter, or physically fucking you in his car or your apartment, but then the next he was pushing you away and being cold, making it clear that a relationship was the last thing he wanted.

You’ve been trying to lie to yourself, pretending that you aren’t trapped in his web, not dreaming of him and the potential of a future together, but you know without a doubt that you are, that you’re ruined as he said. All you can think about is him, when you’re at home and lonely you have to avoid calling him, the desire to call him and ask him over showing you just how truly weak you are for this man.

Using his school keys, Kylo opens a door on the side of the hall without a window and you follow him once the light has been turned on. The room stretches a ways back, which makes sense considering it’s right next to the auditorium. “They’re back here,” he mumbles and you look around at all the spare lights and cords for the auditorium that are strung up on the wall.

You spot the cords he’s talking about and move to squeeze past him to grab one, but he stops you with his hand around your wrist. You draw an involuntary breath in and look up at him as he grabs your hips and pushes you back against a shelf, your ass pressing against the cold metal.

“You like to tempt me, don’t you?” He growls while running his strong hands up and down your body, taking a moment to squeeze your thigh, his fingers moving dangerously close between your legs.

“Maybe this isn’t for you,” you whisper in response as you wrap your hands into his hair, bringing him to your level and stopping with your lips only inches apart.

“No?” He smirks down at you, his face shadowed from his hair under the harsh fluorescent lights.

“Never know,” you shrug, a glimmer in his eye that you know is torturing him.

“Don’t forget, you’re mine,” he hisses as he leans around you, taking you earlobe between his teeth and running his tongue around your stud earring. You shiver as you feel his hands slip under your dress, half of you knowing how inappropriate this is and how you can’t do this on school grounds, but the other half is screaming for him to bend you over and take you right here, right now.

The fire ignites in you further as he hooks his fingers in the fabric of your thong and tugs them down so they fall at your ankles. “We can’t do this here,” you whisper.

“I’m unfortunately aware,” he chuckles as he leans down and picks them up, stuffing them into his pocket, leaving you bare and exposed under your dress. He places his hands on either side of you again on the shelf next to your head and leans in, brushing your lips with his as he speaks. “But as I keep telling you, you don’t need those.”

You shudder even harder at his words followed immediately by him backing up and shifting his tie around his neck. “We should find the cord and get back to make sure everything is set.”

You gulp hard, so many emotions threatening to boil over, and hold his dark eyes for a second, his face knowing because he is well aware of how much this is torturing you. You nod silently and drop your eyes from his. “Good girl,” he mumbles and turns to grab the cord from the wall

As you walk back to the gym, the cool breeze between your legs bothers you endlessly. You’ve always been fairly modest, making sure everything you wore never exposed too much skin or too much boob, and you absolutely always were sure to have underwear on. Some of your friends talked about how they would go without to avoid lines, but you never understood how that could be at all comfortable, but now you almost curse yourself for never trying it and instead leaving yourself even more at his mercy.

—

You sit at the table immediately inside the front door of the atrium next to the

Vice Principal taking tickets. Kylo stands at the door checking for student IDs, which are required to get in, looks at you every few moments, but you do everything to avoid his attention. It’s bad enough he’s left you bare and vulnerable down there, but the fact that you have to sit next to the Vice Principal is just making everything worse.

“You seem to be getting along with Kylo well,” Leia observes and looks up at him by the door.

“Fairly, yeah,” you agree, trying to keep your tone casual.

“He’s a tough one to crack,” she adds and chuckles. “Nice man if you can get past the hard exterior.” You nod in agreement but don’t know what to say in return so you let the silence hang. “He seems to favor you,” she adds after a minute.

Your eyes dart open wider but you don’t turn to her, just try to keep your reactions at a level state which is easier said than done. “I don’t know what you mean,” you mumble.

“He can’t take his eyes off of you,” she chuckles and looks at you but you still keep your eyes trained on the tickets in your hands that you are trying to form into a nice organized pile as a distraction. “Forgive me if I’m sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, but are you single?”

“Uh,” you laugh, acutely aware of how hot your cheeks are. “Yes, I’m single.”

“Shocking really,” Leia marvels, and you look at her shocked by her bluntness. “Oh honey, I’m sorry, I’ll butt out of your personal life.”

“You’re okay,” you respond awkwardly and switch which leg is crossed over the other, catching Kylos eyes which drift up from your legs, a small smirk on his lips. With a knowing look, he leans back against the door and sticks his hand into his pocket, the pocket you know contains your underwear. The idea of it alone makes your cheeks burn even hotter and you barely hear Leia as she starts speaking again.

“Well if you’re in the market for an eligible bachelor, or bachelorette, don’t want to make any assumptions,” she laughs and you laugh at how awkward she is right now. “My husband and I are hosting a party to celebrate our wedding anniversary next Saturday, you should stop by. There’ll be a lot of people your age there between our sons' friends and our friends' children.”

“I’m not sure,” you say hesitantly. “I’m not great in crowds I don’t know.”

“Trust me, I’m sure there’ll be someone you know,” she responds quickly and grabs your hand.

You look down at her hand, curious as to why she wants you to come to the party so bad. “Okay,” you agree and Leia gives you an excited and victorious smile. “I’ll come.”

“Excellent!” She says a little too enthusiastically and turns to glance at Kylo before looking back at you and you smile at her awkwardly and try to politely take your hand back from her.


	10. Glimpse

The students have since left the gym and the lights have been turned on, washing the large room in the harsh fluorescent lights again. You wander around the gym collecting decorations, at this point wildly uncomfortable from the lack of underwear and the curiosity of what might ensue when you leave making it worse. Kylo helps the DJ wind up the cords and move the speakers to the van parked in the back parking lot leaving you completely alone. 

You avoid him like the plague as you have all evening, his presence alone making your brain go foggy and you’re now convinced that the Vice Principal is aware that there is something going on between you, you just pray that teacher with teacher relationships aren't against the staff code of conduct that you failed to read in its entirety before signing your compliance agreement. 

“Ready to go?” Kylo asks from behind you, pulling you out of your train of thought that you had fallen into while sorting the cash box while he was outside.

“Yep,” you squeak out as his hand finds a spot on your hip and you feel yourself immediately tense up under his grip.

Kylo has collected your coat for you and holds it open, helping you slip one arm in followed by the next. As you button your dress coat up, you watch him pull his own on, adjusting his sharp pressed dress shirt underneath the heavy sleeves, and you marvel at how he can make such a meaningless task look so attractive. 

The air is cold outside and you curse your coat for not having pockets as he walks you to your cars that are a good distance out in the parking lot. As you get near the cars, Kylo does the thing you were least expecting and grabs your hand before pulling you up against him. 

Leaning against his car, he lowers his face to yours, cupping your cheek with his hand and kissing you desperately. You let yourself go, melting into his embrace and falling quickly into the pattern with him. “Come home with me,” he mutters against your lips before roughly taking them back into his. Not breaking the contact, you nod urgently, recognizing the fire between your legs that needs to be quenched.

Breaking away, he steps back, opening the passenger door for you, and holding your hand until you lower yourself into the car. You work to smooth out your dress under your legs and cross your ankles over each other as you watch him pass in front of the car, adjusting his still open coat around him and checking the empty parking lot for anyone who may have just witnessed that. 

The smell of his cologne rushes across the car and fills your senses as he settles in the driver's seat and closes the door, the ceiling lights fading to black, making it so you can only see that which is illuminated by the dash lights. 

With one hand on the wheel and the other on the shifter, he puts the car in drive and you feel butterflies kick up as he exits the parking lot. The excitement of the evening pairing with the nerves of seeing Kylo’s home turning your brain into a dizzy mess of unsorted thoughts. By the expensiveness of his car, you can only assume that his condo is gorgeous and you tap your foot on your other boot in anticipation creating an audible clicking sound. 

The feeling of rough skin on your soft leg draws a gasp from you and you look down quickly at Kylo’s hand as he rests it there, pushing the fabric of your skirt back a touch. You look up at him, catching his eye as he glances at you, a devilish smirk crossing his lips because he knows the close proximity to your uncovered slit is driving you mad. 

“It seemed like you were getting real chummy with the vice principal tonight,” he says calmly. 

”I’ve gotten to know her well,” you respond simply, acutely aware that his hand just moved further up your leg as you spoke. 

“Oh? And what were you talking about?”

“Honestly? You,” you blurt and he looks over at you again shocked.

“Me?”

“She was very aware that you were watching me,” you turn your head to look at him, observing his sharp profile that is silhouetted by the street lights now that he is looking at the road in front of you again. “She mentioned that you seem to favor me.”

“I do favor you,” he responds and you gulp. “But I think you’re already aware of that.” 

“Just a little,” you respond in a coy tone. 

“You seem tense,” he mumbles as he moves his hand again, squeezing your thigh only inches from your center. 

“I wonder why,” you mumble, your breath changing as tingles run up your body and you can feel wetness pooling. 

“Would it be because of this,” he growls as he swipes a finger across your folds and you tense even more. “Hmmm,” he laughs as he runs his finger across your folds again, this time slower and with more pressure. “Naughty girl, not wearing panties. Like you’re begging to get fucked.”

“Only because someone so rudely took them from me,” you argue in a challenge. 

“Is that what happened?” You draw a gasp in as he pushes a finger between your legs and connects his fingertip with your clit. Kylo runs small circles, coiling you up inside in response, keeping his eyes trained on the road but occasionally glancing at you. “I love how much I affect you,” he observes as he runs faster and more forceful circles on your nub, drawing a moan from you and you let your head fall back on the headrest your hand gripping the center console and the handle of the door.

He pulls the car to a stop in front of a line of townhomes and removes his fingers from between your legs, hastily working to unbuckle his seatbelt. You follow his lead, working to unbuckle quickly. “Stay there,” he orders and gets out of the car, walking quickly to your side. He opens the door, offering his clean hand to you, which you graciously take and allow him to help you out. 

Kylo doesn’t drop your hand as you walk up the front sidewalk and stairs and he unlocks the door with ease using the key. The chandelier over you lighting up illuminates the room and you observe the nice furnishings of the entryway and the general fixtures that are normal for new building construction.

Kylo’s lips brush against your neck from behind, his hands reaching around you and working at the buttons on your coat. Shivers run through you as he sucks harder and pulls the coat off your shoulders, setting it blindly on a bench to the side. 

With his hands, he turns you and backs you against the wall, pinning you to it with his hips as his hands fumble with his tie. Loosening the knot, his hands return to you, one wrapping around your neck and the other pulling you flush against him. 

There’s desperation behind his kisses like normal and it drives you mad as you rush to keep up with him, his fingers hastily working at the knot of your wrap dress. Kylo rips his lips away from yours pressing himself up against you as he unhooks the safety pin on the inside of your dress that was holding the neckline modestly shut all night. “I see why you had this,” he chuckles as he tosses the safety pin to the side and runs his finger along the dip of the plunging neckline but leaving you still clothed, just more loosely now. “Come with me,” he orders and takes your hand again, clicking the light off as you pass into the kitchen. 

The room is dark and your eyes are barely adjusted from him turning the lights off which doesn’t allow you to see much, but you can see the general outline of cabinets and counters followed by a small living room at the back of the house. 

He turns and leads you up the stairs and your heart rate quickens knowing he’s surely leading you to the bedroom. The hallway feels like it’s a mile long and like you’ll never reach the door, the anticipation building with each singular step. 

The master is simple yet cozy with its large bed, simple furniture, and white walls that he clearly hasn’t painted since moving in as it is still the same stock color that the builders most likely painted all of the condos. 

Kylo turns to you in the dimly lit room after clicking a single lamp on and you gulp, having to force yourself to swallow completely, as you watch him saunter towards you. His eyes locked on you, looking as if he’s nearly about to start salivating, he unties your dress from your waist and pushes it off of you effortlessly. “Give me your wrists,” he orders in a hushed tone and you obey immediately, lifting your hands in two fists and holding them flush together in front of you. In your nervous state, you can feel yourself shaking and you work desperately to hold still, not wanting to let on just how worked up you are. 

“Still so easily affected by me,” he teases as he pulls his tie off from around his neck in a fluid motion and begins wrapping it around your wrists effortlessly. You notice how well practiced he seems to be at this and you try not to think about how many other women he has performed this talent for. 

Without a single warning sign, he pushes you back against the wall, swinging your arms up above your head, where he lets them hang from the tie firmly secured in his fist. You wiggle to get comfortable noting that your shoulders are tight and aching but the pain is almost drowned out by the electric fire coursing through you.

Kylo nearly growls into your mouth as he connects his lips with yours and presses himself up against your side where he can easily secure your arms still above you, yet see you in the soft light from the lamp. Your breaths are forced, reminiscent of how hard it is to breathe when you have the awful idea to run occasionally. 

Starting at your neck, Kylo snakes his hand down your front, stopping to play with your nipple between his fingers, causing you to arch your back against the wall. “Hmmm she likes that,” he mumbles as he releases it and moves to the other one. “She likes that too,” he adds and you close your eyes at how good the sensation feels. 

Kylo releases your hardened nipple, trailing his large and rough fingers down the middle of your stomach, following the subtle curves of your hip bone and towards your center. “So much less hassle when you aren’t wearing those annoying things he mutters,” his mouth only inches from your ear. 

“And am I just supposed to do whatever you ask of me?” You whisper and peak your eye open at him. 

“If you know what’s good for you, yes,” he responds and looks up at you, his face shadowed from the lamp behind him. 

“Hmmm,” you close your eyes again and settle back against the wall, pulling lightly on the tie around your wrist to get comfortable. As comfortable as you can get with the fabric digging into your skin. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Why do you always have a witty comeback,” he snaps and you can tell you’re pushing him to the point of losing control, a line you like to flirt with when it comes to him. 

Opening your eyes, you look at him now positioned directly in front of you, one hand by your head and the other reaching above you. “Because I know it drives you mad.”

Your words ignite a fire in Kylo’s eyes and he drops them to your lips before pressing himself against you with force and connecting your lips. Kylo pulls on the tie, pulling on your wrists and drawing a moan from you from the tension of being restrained and immobilized. 

Kylo’s other hand dips between your legs, running light paths back and force across your folds, just barely knicking your clit with his fingertip. You wiggle and groan under him, an unspoken plea to stop teasing you.

Two of his fingers breach your entrance and you gasp against his mouth and once again pulling on the tie above you, his knuckles white from the tension of holding it so tight. His tongue licks at yours, his lips assaulting yours violently as he moves his fingers inside of you, coiling up your pleasure rapidly. 

Finally, he releases your lips and you gasp for air as he moves his mouth down your neck, sucking on your skin and adding to the bruises that are almost completely faded from the weekend prior. 

“Kylo,” you moan, your eyes still closed, your head tipped to the side and resting on your sore arms. 

His movements stall and his lips leave your skin, the space between your legs throbbing for more as he pulls his hand away. You open your eyes out of curiosity, finding his own dark amber eyes staring at your lips. His lips are parted, his warm breath brushing against your skin as he nearly pants. You notice how his eyebrows are scrunched together, almost out of confusion, forming that familiar line between his eyes that you have grown to love.

“What?” You whisper, your own brows scrunching out of confusion at his strange behavior. 

Kylo’s eyes flash up to yours, and you watch as his brows relax and his gaze completely softens to an expression you’ve never seen on him before. “Nothing,” he whispers in response and kisses you again. 

It’s different this time, his kisses are gentle, slow… passionate. The confusion grows even more as he releases the tie, allowing your bound wrists to return to a comfortable level, and he wraps his own arm around you, the other finding your neck, and caressing it softly. 

You’ve never kissed him like this, it’s usually violent, rushed, and lustful, but this is anything but that, it’s almost, dare you say it, loving. Almost as quickly as the thought forms, you push it away, knowing that Kylo isn’t capable of that and if he is, he would never in a million years show that kind of vulnerability. 

Kylo reaches up, locating your hands that have since fallen to rest on his shoulders so they’re behind his head, and you brace yourself for him to rip them back up. He doesn’t break your connected lips, just continues his gentle pattern as his hands work at the tie, eventually giving you the sweet feeling of freedom again.

Not skipping a beat, he wraps his arms back around you, pulling you flush against him. Your fingers shaking, you work at the buttons of his shirt, freeing it from his waistband and pushing it off his shoulders. Before your next movement, you give yourself a silent pep talk and hope he doesn’t react poorly because never once have you seen past his pants or undershirt. 

With your shaking hands, you reach to his belt, unclasping it and releasing the worn leather. The button pops open easily for you, and you pull the zipper down in slow motion. 

Reading your intentions, Kylo steps back and reaches behind his head, pulling his white undershirt off and discarding it on the floor. You have to make a conscious effort to keep your mouth from falling open as he returns to you and you stare at his broad chest and defined muscles. 

With little effort, he picks you up, wrapping your legs around him, and returns your lips to each other, his kisses still gentle and passionate. 

Tipping back in his arms, your back meets the mattress and he releases you, allowing you a moment to take in his body as he stays standing for a moment and pulls his pants off. Your stomach feels like it’s in your throat as he crawls over you, his eyes raking up your body until they reach your eyes moments before he kisses you. 

This feeling is strange to you, the feeling of lust having been something much more normal with him, not usually accompanied by such attention to you. 

You fall into rhythm with him, your hands exploring the exposed skin of his arms, chest, and back, his hands moving from your sides and down the backs of your legs. In slow motion, he grinds against you, the fabric of his boxer briefs the only thing separating you and you nearly melt at the overwhelming fire in you. 

Propping his elbow next to your head, he slides his boxer briefs off, releasing his hardened member that immediately falls between your legs. He nestles his face in your neck as he searches for your entrance and pulls back to you look at you as he pushes in, both of your faces reacting to the pleasure of him stretching and filling you. You can’t help but wonder what is with the sudden change in him, but you decide not to ruin it and say anything. 

You grip the back of his arms, moving one hand to his back as he thrusts, his face only inches from you until he does something else you never thought he would do, kisses you again. 

Falling into a rhythm, you kiss him excitedly, neither the motion of your lips or of his thrusts violent like normal and for the first time, you feel yourself reaching release from what you would call boring vanilla sex. 

You moan against his lips, each one becoming louder and more desperate as your body clenches tighter around him. “Let go,” he whispers against your lips and returns his lips to your neck, kissing you as your body reaches its breaking point and everything crashes around you. 

You let out a moan of pleasure and release as he draws your orgasm out, your eyes peeling open to look at him as he hits his own release, momentarily pausing his movements before he lets himself fall on top of you. 

Kylo takes a moment to catch his breath, his arms still next to your head, and you take a chance and run your fingers around on his skin, tracing every small bump and bulge of his muscles you can get to, fearing you will never get an opportunity like this again.

With a sigh, he lifts himself, immediately leaving an empty feeling as he pulls out of you, and returns his eyes to yours. He grabs your hips and rolls you onto your side and wraps his arms around you, his one hand finding your hair that is stuck to your face. 

You watch him anxiously, not sure what’s going through his head as he observes you in more detail than you think he ever has. “You’re so beautiful,” he whispers and you can feel yourself flinch from the sudden confession. 

“Thank you,” you acknowledge.

“You don’t believe me,” he chuckles, his words phrased more as a statement than a question. “But you should,” he tips your chin and you meet his eyes. “Because you’re stunning.”

You can’t help the smile that forms on your lips and his own eyes light up at the sight of it. “Thank you,” you correct in a more open and chipper tone. 

“That’s more like it,” he teases as he pulls your face back to his and engulfs you in his kiss. 

You don’t know how long you laid there, but as long as you were in his arms, you didn’t care, you would kiss him for hours if it meant you could make this feeling last forever. Eventually, sleep crept up on you, both of you still entangled with each other, and at some point, your both dozed off with the lamp still on, and Kylo’s arms wrapped around you.


	11. Gentle Giant

The blankets and pillows consume you and you fight with them until you are able to finally throw them back and release yourself from their grip. The air outside of your cocoon is cool from the window that is cracked open on the side of the room. You turn your head to the side, your eyes scanning across Kylo’s face, his hair splayed out on the pillow, one arm bent underneath the pillow, and the other on top of the blankets and laying across your stomach. 

You smile at the closeness, knowing that if he was awake he would hate this, most likely automatically moving away and forcing you to leave right away. Unable to ignore the need to use the restroom, despite your longing to stay here in his presence, you sneak out from under him, being sure to not wake him by letting his arm gently rest on the blankets in the absence of you under them. 

The hallway is even colder making you glad you grabbed one of his sweatshirts that he had sitting on the chair in his bedroom. It’s large on you, the sleeves hanging far past your hands and the bottom stopping mid-thigh, allowing you to wear it like a dress. 

The stairs of the condo are quiet as you navigate back down them, taking a moment to observe the photography that is evenly hung along the angle of the railing. You let your fingers trail along the wooden banister as the living space comes into your view, illuminated slightly by the moon streaming through the windows in the back.

The living room is immaculate, nothing in it giving the impression that it’s at all lived in, instead, looking more like an advertisement for a Pottery Barn, and you note the absence of a television which you find slightly unusual. The kitchen which only has one window is dark and you run your hand along the wall in search of a switch. You finally find one on the backsplash and flip it, praying that it isn’t the garbage disposal that would surely wake Kylo up even from all the way down here. 

Light is instantly omitted from hidden strips under the cabinets, illuminating the grey cabinets and dark countertops. Trying your best to open and close the cabinets quietly, you search for a glass, finally finding them and filling one with water from the sink. You lean against the counter as you sip the water, your eyes still slightly foggy from just having woken up, but they land on a pile of papers and color swatches that rest on a small cardboard box with a lid. 

Checking that there isn’t movement by glancing at the stairs and actively listening for footsteps, you round the island and sit on a stool in front of it. The top page of the pile features colors of cabinets and you look up at his dark cabinets and smirk at how small everything seems because of it. Each page is filled with various decorative features for the house between paint colors, flooring options, handles and pulls for drawers, and siding colors. 

Completely enthralled and curious in what he’s doing with all of these swatches, you open the small box, revealing small precisely cut squares of granite, clearly options for countertops. You run your fingers across the smooth cool squares, a flutter between your legs kicking up as you think about that night after your date and your cheek pressed against the granite as Kylo took you from behind. 

“I see you found your way around okay,” Kylo says from behind you as he reaches the bottom of the stairs and finishes pulling his shirt down to meet the top of his sweatpants. 

“I’m sorry,” you mutter and start collecting everything back into an organized pile, panicking overtaking you, and causing your fingers to fumble. “I didn’t mean to be nosey, I was just thirsty and didn’t want to wake you so I came down to get a glass of water and these were just sitting here.”

“It’s okay,” he chuckles looking at you with a questioning look, probably wondering why you’re acting so high strung. “I’d prefer you to be comfortable when you’re here.”

“Okay,” your voice breaks as you speak and you focus back on the papers that are still strewn everywhere, trying to gather them as fast as possible. 

“What do you think?” He asks and takes a casual drink of water from his own glass he has since retrieved.

“About?” You ask, your cheeks still flushed and movements still chaotic as you grab the last couple of pages. 

“The swatches and color choices,” he responds and you freeze.

“I, um,” you stutter and look up at him, expecting that he’s going to be angry. 

“Y/n relax,” he laughs and walks over to the counter, leaning onto it with one elbow and reaching to fan out the perfect pile you just created on the countertop again. “I could actually probably benefit from getting your art opinion. I’m clueless when it comes to this type of stuff.”

“Are you remodeling?” You question and immediately curse yourself for asking such a stupid question.

“Kind of yeah,” he answers simply, his eyes glued to the papers. “So, what do you think?” He reiterates and looks up at you, resting his other arm on the counter casually. 

“Well,” you mumble as you look back at the papers. “You have a wide range of options, so I would start by simplifying them down. What’s the style you like the most?” 

“Clean lines, more traditional but not Renaissance traditional,” he explains simply, still watching you. 

You look up at him, basking in his eyes which are the gentlest you’ve ever seen from him, and resisting the desire to wrap up in his arms. You squint your eyes and purse your lips as you think and you swear you can see his face brighten into a slight smile as he watches you. “So like Scandinavian meets traditional?” 

“Sure,” he laughs and shrugs. 

You smile and shake your head but flip back to the pages for the kitchen. “So I would say for the kitchen, light colors are your friend because it makes it look bigger. This kitchen here isn’t small, it just looks like it because of all the dark colors you have layered on top of each other.”

“What do you suggest then?” 

“Well,” you trail off and look around at the papers now spread all the way across the counter. “If you like the dark colors, which it looks like you do, I would do a dark blue or charcoal for the cabinets on the bottom with a white or butcher block countertop, whichever one your prefer. Then to lighten the top up I would do white cabinets or a really light grey. Maybe some open shelving with natural wood? To balance it on top, you can do dark hardware, maybe even brushed bronze for the lights, and then balance that with white subway tile backsplash and medium colored walls like grey. It’ll give you that touch of dark and edge you like, but might it a little more inviting and less claustrophobic.”

“You really know what you’re talking about,” Kylo observes and nods at you, signaling that he likes your ideas. 

“Interior design is just using the elements and principles of art in a less traditional way. You know, what you call all that fluffy stuff,” you tease and he smiles. 

“Well, I’ll have to have you help me with that fluffy stuff then.”

You look at him, curious what’s going on in his head because he has never looked at you like that before. There’s almost a fondness present on his face and you can feel the nerves setting in. What if it’s not fondness and actually he’s just looking for a way to get you out of the house as quickly and as painlessly as possible? 

Kylo breaks his gaze away from yours and looks at the clock on the stove, taking in and releasing a deep sigh. You figure this is it, this is when he’s going to kick you out and go back to being cold and distant with you. “We should get back to bed,” he mutters and your mouth nearly falls open. 

“We?” You question. “You’re not going to make me go home?” 

“Why would I take you back to your car at 3 am and make you drive another twenty minutes home?” 

“I don’t know,” you mutter, feeling ridiculous. 

“Come on,” he whispers and reaches his hand out towards you, which you take and stand from the stool. “I like you in my sweatshirt by the way,” he adds and clicks the light back off, pulling you behind him. 

“I can just forgo all other clothes if that’s the case then,” you joke, your heart nearly beating out of your chest.

“Don’t tempt me,” he responds and you feel his hand tighten around yours. 

The butterflies are going wild in your stomach as you both walk around to the opposite sides of the bed and crawl in under the covers. Before you get completely settled his arms wrap around you, pulling you tight against him, and you melt into him, wondering where this gentle giant has been since you met him a month ago. 

In no time, his breath deepens and his arms twitch around you, signaling that he’s fallen back asleep, but his grip doesn’t loosen and you let yourself slip away wrapped in his embrace.


	12. Bad Habit

Kylo stands with his back to you wearing a thin black sweatshirt with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows and light grey sweatpants which he had been wearing in the middle of the night when you had woken up. His hair is tousled around his head and you can see the outline of his profile that is broken up by a pair of thick-framed glasses as he looks down at the food on the skillet. 

You gulp as Kylo turns with the pan, scooping an egg onto each plate that already features two pieces of bacon and a small pile of fruit. “You’re way fancier than I ever am about breakfast,” you marvel as he nicely plates everything for you two.

“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day,” he responds simply and you feel your heart skip at the appearance of those lines on his cheek from him smiling. 

“I’ve never understood that statement, but if you say so,” you tease and take the plate from him. 

“What do you usually eat for breakfast?” 

“Coffee,” you respond and take a bite of the bacon which is cooked to perfection. 

“I said eat, not drink,” he mumbles while shaking salt onto his eggs. 

“I know what you asked, but the only thing my body consumes before ten in the morning is coffee.”

“Is that why you’re insufferably crabby by the time you get to my classroom?”

You take a big gulp of your coffee and shake your head as you swallow. “No, I eat a granola bar and a handful of fruit snacks on my way to your classroom, I’m not hungry.”

“That’s not much,” he observes. “I’m sure you’re still hungry which would explain why you’re so grumpy.”

“Well, what’s your excuse then?” 

“Careful y/n,” he warns and you look up at him curiously, recognizing the shift in him back closer to his normal self. 

You don’t give him a response, just let the conversation die while you two continue to eat, the only sound in the room is that of your utensils on the ceramic plates and the coffee pot still continuing to brew. 

”Once we’re done eating, I can take you back to your car, and then you can go about your day,” he casually tells you when you’re both nearing the end of your breakfast. 

“Ok,” you respond simply while attempting to hide the clear disappointment. You’re not entirely sure what you were hoping for, but the news that your time in Kylo’s house is coming to an end completely disappoints you.

“I’m going to go get ready quickly if that’s okay? I need to run to my parents after I drop you off and the High School is on the way,” he explains and looks at you across the counter while rinsing the plates off in the sink. 

“Yeah,” you stutter and look around wondering what you’re going to do in the meantime. “I’ll wait here.” 

“I’ll only be 15 minutes,” Kylo informs you and rushes up the stairs, taking them casually two at a time. 

You wait long enough until you hear the shower turn on, and then you’re on your feet. 

You peak into the sitting room and find that there isn’t anything interesting so you walk upstairs, glad that the stairs are new and don’t creak unlike the stairs in your old remodeled apartment. Stepping lightly, you sneak past the bathroom door and peek your head into another room which is clearly his office complete with a beautiful desk, shelves of books, and a chair nestled next to a lamp. The floor and tabletops are littered with books stacked on top of each other and you marvel at how messy this is compared to literally everything else in his life. 

Running your hand along the top of one of the bookshelves a little below your eye level, you look at each individual picture frame, glad to find the first glimpse of sentimentality you weren’t sure Kylo possessed due to his lack of personal photographs. 

You don’t recognize any of the people in the photographs but one child in the photos looks almost like he could be Kylo’s uncle, but the child and his sister are so young you can’t tell. The little girl in the photo looks to be around the same age and they’re both being held by a beautiful woman with wavy brown hair and a man who slightly resembles Kylo. You think that maybe that is his family, but you also remember Hux saying Kylo looks more like his dad’s side than his mom’s. 

You continue down the shelf to look at the two other photos, looking at all the images of a young Kylo. A long blue patch catches your eye and you step forward to pick it up. The black stitching across the patch reads “B. Solo” and your eyebrow quirks up in curiosity. Obviously, this is some sort of official patch probably for something like a fraternity, but you don’t know who this “B. Solo” person is. 

“What are you doing?” Kylo’s voice scares you and you jump, dropping the patch at your feet. ”You have a bad habit of snooping.”

“I’m so sorry. I-“ you blurt out in a panicked rush as he steps towards you and bends down to pick up the patch, the smell of his freshly washed hair and body sneaking into your nose and momentarily freezing you. 

“I think it’s time for you to leave,” Kylo mumbles as he picks up the patch and looks at it before setting it back on the boom shelf. 

“I’m sorry,” you start again but he cuts you off. 

“Y/N,” he snaps. “Let’s go.”

Kylo glares down at you, obviously upset with you for blatantly going out of your way to explore his home. You can’t help yourself that you’re so curious, he has barely given you any information and it’s grinding at you that you hardly know anything about him. Of course, he barely knows anything about you either, both of you neglecting to take any time to get to know the other person outside of your physical knowledge of the other’s body.

You don’t argue back or attempt to reason with him, knowing he’s far too angry and back to his old personality to want to entertain a reasonable conversation with you. He stalks down the stairs with his shoulder slumped forward and you only a few steps behind him. Aggressively, he picks up your coat and hands it to you and you slip it on, watching his face which is clenched tight at the jaw, forming a dent on the side of his temple. 

The car ride is tense and awkward especially due to the lack of radio to add a little bit of noise to the quiet car. The only sound is that of the engine humming in the front of the car and Kylo’s teeth grinding in a strained pattern back and forth. 

“I’m sorry I was in your office,” you muster out in order to hopefully break the tense stand-off when you’re only a couple of blocks away from the school. 

“You have some bad habits that need to be broken,” he mutters, his eyes concealed by his sunglasses except for the corner which peaks out from the edge of the frames. 

“Look Kylo, I’m just trying to learn about you,” you reason, your body turned slightly on the seat.

“Did it ever occur to you, that maybe I don’t want you to learn about me? That maybe I enjoy a quiet life that no one butts their opinions into and leaves me alone?”

“That sounds lonely.”

“That’s how I like it,” he snaps and pulls the car to an abrupt halt next to yours. “I expect you to respect that.”

You search for words, your eyes frantically scanning his face that is sprinkled with stubble and framed by still damp chunks of hair. 

“I need to be leaving,” Kylo mutters under his breath and looks at you, clearly exasperated by the situation by how tense his face is. 

With your eyes downcast to avoid his, you click the seat belt loose and collect your purse, nearly stumbling out of the car as if you can’t get away from him fast enough. 

“Have a good day Kylo,” you say as you climb out of the car and slam his car door a little harder than you should, knowing you’re not going to get a response from him. The tires of the sleek car squeal as he tears away, leaving you alone in the empty parking lot in the late morning light still wearing borrowed clothes from him under your dress coat. You can only imagine what this looks like to anyone watching from their homes right now.

Your windshield is frosted over still, sections of it starting to thaw under the sun that is slowly gaining strength and you rub your hands together viciously as you wait for the heat to warm up. A song you remember from High School dances comes over the radio and you lean your head back on the headrest, allowing your eyes to close as you immerse yourself into the calm rhythm and strums off the guitar. You can almost feel the gentle swaying you would be doing if you had someone to dance with, but alas, it’s just you alone again by yourself. It’s always just you. 

A knock on the windshield startles you and you sit forward, your eyes nearly bugging out of your head as you look up at the figure who is backlit by the sun. 

“Leia,” you gasp in the realization that there is a distinct possibility the Vice Principal caught you getting dropped off by another coworker, and now here you are in your car that was clearly here all night, wearing ill-fitting clothes that are clearly meant for someone much larger than you and a dress coat that doesn’t match at all. 

“Honey, are you okay?” Leia asks with a concerned face as you push the button to roll the window down. 

“Oh yes, I’m fine,” you assure and frantically try to search for a coverup. 

“My car wouldn’t start last night, so I got a ride home.”

“From Kylo?” She asks and your eyebrow quirks up in curiosity at her forwardness. 

“Yep,” you squeak out awkwardly because you’ve never been good under pressure. 

“That was very nice of him,” she smirks and you melt from embarrassment because you know exactly what this looks like. It’s even worse that she spent the entire evening clearly picking up on the sexual tension flowing off you and Kylo at the dance. “Anyways, just wanted to check on you. I’m late to meet my son so I should be going.” 

“Thank you for checking on me, it was very nice.”

“Of course dear. Oh!” She exclaims as if she just had some big epiphany. “Speaking of my son, I think you two would get along so well, so don’t forget about the party, I’ll make sure to introduce you two.”

“Oh Leia, that’s not necessary,” you try to reason, feeling awkward that your boss is trying to set you up. 

“Nonsense,” she waves you off and turns to walk back to her still-running car. “8 pm Saturday, I’ll text you the address assuming you haven’t changed your number since sending in your resumé.”

“Have a good Sunday,” you respond, ignoring her demanding invitation. 

“You too honey,” she calls back and lowers herself into her car as you roll the window up.


	13. The Party

All week, Kylo has been distant from you, rarely taking a second look at you, speaking to you in his rehearsed curt tone, and avoiding being alone with you at all. The icing out has been grinding at you, making you crazy, but also making you more intrigued. 

Knowing not to push too hard, you resisted the urge to search for who ‘B.Solo’ is. Instead, you wanted to be sure that if he ever decided to tell you, that you wouldn’t have to pretend you didn’t already know the truth. Plus the idea of him opening up to you enough to tell you the truth behind this big secret excites you, despite how unlikely it is, but you want to be ready in case the opportunity arises. 

Driving south of town, you follow the GPS down the narrow back country roads, your headlights scanning across the trees as you navigate the tight winding curves. At the cue of the automated voice, you turn left onto a paved driveway leading up to a gorgeous house at the end, spanning the opening in the trees, and surrounded by cars. Every window of the house is lit up, featuring the silhouettes of the party-goers, and you toy with the idea of returning home and skipping the party entirely. 

You sit in your car just staring at the house and looking around in hopes that you’ll recognize one of the cars, but you don’t have that type of luck. Finally, you muster up the courage to at least make an appearance, long enough to say hi to Leia and maybe meet her son she has since mentioned to you multiple times in passing at work. 

Your heels click on the stairs of the porch as you approach the front door and ring the doorbell. The door flies open immediately, startling you, and causing you to step backward in an attempt to regain your composure. 

“Come in!” Luke, the owner of the bar down the street from your apartment greats with a large smile, his appearance more groomed than what you’ve seen at the bar. “You’re the girl who likes all my fun beers,” he observes as he takes your coat and hangs it in the closet with the other guests' coats and you question his familiarity with Leia’s house silently. 

“That’s me,” you laugh. “I’m y/n.” 

“It’s a pleasure, y/n. I’m Luke as you know. Hey, while I have you here, I have a couple of new flavors in the kitchen I’m thinking of putting on the menu and I would love your opinion, I’ll get you one,” he says in a chipper tone, and you follow happily, glad you have someone to talk to even if the only thing you and him have in common is beer. 

You stand awkwardly in front of the stove, your hands twisted in front of you as you glance at all of the unfamiliar faces, hoping you’ll find at least one you recognize. Luke closes the fridge and cracks one open and hands it to you. You observe the label for a second, always taking a moment to enjoy the artwork on the bottles that some artist out there put time in to create before taking a sip. 

“I wouldn’t drink that,” an unfamiliar voice says and you turn to look at him, finding a man in his early 60s. “It’s awful.”

“I’ll have you know,” Luke pipes in. “She actually has taste unlike you.”

“I have taste when it counts. Like taste in women, I’ve always been proficient when it comes to that.”

“Don’t mind him, he’s an asshole,” Luke turns back to you and motions to the bottle. “What do you think?”

“Well,” you murmur as you formulate your opinion, your thoughts rudely interrupted by Leia chirping your name and taking you into an embrace. 

“So glad you came honey,” Leia coos as she kisses both of your cheeks. “Hopefully these two aren't giving you any trouble.” 

“We’d never do that,” the man you don’t know smiles at Leia and you marvel at his strange likeness to Kylo. 

“Sure,” Leia says in a disbelieving tone. “I’m going to steal y/n if you don’t mind,” she announces as he loops your arms together and turns you, starting your walk back to the staircase and then down a hallway. “I want you to meet my son, he’s in the sitting room mingling with friends.”

“His name is Ben correct?” 

“Yep,” she squeaks out a little too eagerly, confirming that she is in fact trying to set you up with her son. Clearly, she must not know of the affair with Kylo at work, despite her forward questions at the school dance last weekend. “Alright, I’ll see you later,” she says quickly once you reach the door. 

“Aren’t you coming with?” You scramble, not wanting to go in alone. 

“Oh no, I need to go help the caterer set up the next round of hor devours. You’ll be fine, he’s hard to miss,” she assures and turns on her heels before you have a chance to argue. 

Wiping your free palm on your dress, you let out a long cleansing breath, and pin your shoulders back, determined to find this Ben and see why Leia is so obsessed with you meeting him. 

—  
Stepping around the corner, you scan the room, looking for anyone who looks like they could be Leia’s son and also be so hard to miss as she said. You wonder silently what exactly makes someone hard to miss while observing the men in the room, realizing she gave you absolutely nothing to work off of. 

There’s a number of what looks like potential eligible bachelors in the room and you fidget with the hem of your dress on the side of your leg as you scan the room, your hand holding your beer shaking a little. You become more aware of every little movement of your body the longer you stand there awkwardly and you’re sure people must think you look so strange and clearly out of place. 

You scan to another pod of men talking on the far end of the room with a few women sprinkled between them. You visibly freeze as your eyes meet those all too familiar dark eyes nestled under his severe brow, his jaw shifting back and forth as he runs a hand back through his hair. With a polite apology, Kylo sneaks out of the circle he stands in, which you notice Hux is a part of as he glances over at you and nods in greeting with a smile while continuing his conversation. 

Your knees shake and your throat feels like sandpaper as you watch Kylo slowly approach you, a short glass with a brown liquid in it wrapped securely in his hand. It’s almost as if he’s moving in slow motion, every step he takes calculated and with great intention, while you watch him completely frozen like a deer in the headlights, helplessly trapped in his wake. 

“What are you doing here?” Kylo asks in a hushed tone and you blink at him, his eyebrow quirking up in annoyance at your delayed response. “This is a private event.”

“I’m well aware. I’m not here for you,” you snap back, breaking yourself out of your trance. “In fact, Leia herself asked me here.”

“Why would she do such a thing?” Kylo asks unamused and takes a lazy sip of his drink. 

“She wanted to introduce me to her son,” you say quickly, hoping to get under his skin that someone is trying to set you up with another potential suitor. Kylos knuckles seem to turn almost white and you marvel at the glass, almost waiting for it to shatter in his hand directly in front of your face. 

“Is that so?” He mutters his expression since hardening even further.

“Yes, it is,” you brag. “Actually, would you happen to know a Ben? She sent me in here to find him but didn’t give me any more information than his name.”

“I know no one of the name,” Kylo shrugs, not meeting your eyes and taking another drink from the glass. 

“Shame, guess I’ll find someone more useful then.” 

“Why would she want you to meet her son anyway?” Kylo asks, practically interrupting you as always. 

“Considering she brought him up immediately after asking me if I was single, I’m sure you can deduce what that means,” you say in a lofty tone and take a swig of your beer, watching as Kylo shifts his jaw again. 

“What is this?” He asks with his eyebrows furrowed together, ignoring your statement, and grabbing the bottle from your hands. 

“Beer,” you snap. “From your uncle.”

“Who’s that?” 

“Luke.”

“Ah, you snoop around to find that one out too?”

“No. Hux told me on our date.” 

Kylo’s eyes flick back to yours, the harshness of them pulling a noticeable gulp from you. 

“Oh, good!” Leia chirps as she walks up behind Kylo. “You found him.”

“Well no,” you begin. “I asked Kylo if he knew Ben, but he wasn’t able to help me

“Will you stop with this stupid facade,” Leia snaps at Kylo and he rolls his eyes before taking another swig of his drink. 

“I told you, I don’t go by that anymore,” Kylo replies simply. 

“You’re so irritating,” Leia waves her hand at him and turns back to you. You wonder if she can pick up on how utterly confused you are by how high arched your eyebrow is. “His given name is Ben, he just formed an aversion to the name at some point much to his own mother’s distaste.” 

“So he’s your son?” You clarify, pointing between the two of them. 

“While he tries to deny it, yes, he is,” Leia confirms with a smile, but all you can focus on are your swirling thoughts. Like the fact that she was trying to set you up with her son but never once disclosed that you already knew him, or how about the fact that you spent the entire evening next to her while chaperoning while her son had your panties in his pocket, or even better, that you’re already hooking up with her son on a fairly regular basis. 

“Well this is all very interesting information,” you cheerfully observe with a fake smile, knowing your eyes are barely holding back how freaked out and embarrassed you are at the moment. “Looks like I’m almost out of beer, I should go get another drink,” you announce as your way to excuse yourself from this conversation, hiding the still half-full bottle in your hand. “Hopefully something much stronger,” you mutter under your breath once your back is turned. 

“Ow,” Kylo exclaims but you don’t turn back to see what’s going on, you’re just too concerned about getting out of this nightmare. “I’ll come with you,” he pipes up and you silently curse your bad luck knowing Leia just forced him to come with. Why would you want to spend time with him, especially now that you’re both aware that his mother is trying to set you up and is forcing you into this social situation? 

The walk back to the kitchen is tense between you two, neither of you knowing what to say to break the ice and ease this awkward situation at all. 

“What do you want?” Kylo mutters as you reach the kitchen and you look up at him quizzically. “To drink,” he clarifies and you form an “O” with your mouth. 

“Do you have any tequila by chance?” 

“Most likely.” He scans the bottles arranged on the counter behind him and you watch him as he does, admiring his ass in his jeans and his shoulders under his black sweater that is rolled up as always, exposing his impressive forearms. “What drink do you prefer with this poison?”

“I was just going to drink it straight,” you explain and lean forward onto the island between you two.

“This reveal really got to you huh?” He chuckles and pulls a glass out along with various mixes and fruit. 

“I walked around commando in the presence of your mother because of you Kylo!” You point out and watch as he looks around the room behind you to see if anyone may have heard you. 

“Ah yes, a fond memory,” he laughs while muddling fruit in the bottom of the glass. 

“You’re sick,” you hiss and he shrugs, a smirk still present on his lips. “What are you doing?”

“Making you a proper drink,” he replies coolly and your stomach lurches at him glancing up at you. “We’re civilized here and don’t drink tequila on the rocks. Only crazy people do that.”

“Who said anything about on the rocks? I was just going to shoot it,” you explain.

Kylo doesn’t respond for a minute, just finishes pouring the mixture into the glass and stirring it until it’s a consistent yellow with a red bottom. “What is it?” You ask as he pushes it towards you and turns back to the cupboard, bringing back two shot glasses. 

“Just try it,” he demands in an exasperated tone which you’ve grown accustomed to from him. 

You sip it while you watch him grab two shot glasses and pop the lid off of another bottle of clear liquid with a satisfying sound. “This is amazing,” you marvel and take another sip. 

“Thanks. I used to bartend for Luke, now I just bounce on the weekends when the rowdy crowd is out,” he explains while filling the shot glasses. “If you want to drink tequila straight, this is the stuff to do it with,” he explains and pushes one of the shot glasses towards you on the counter with the other pinned between two of his fingers, completely dwarfing it. 

You regard it with intrigue and pick it up, taking a moment to smell it, picking up on the smokiness of it. “No limes or salt?”

“You won’t need them,” he says confidently and raises his glass up for you to follow suit. 

“What are we toasting to?” You ask with your shot glass only inches from his. 

“To..” he pauses, his eyes searching your face, his cheek twitching directly under his left eye. “To second chances.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in second chances?”

“There’s a first time for everything,” he refutes and taps the glass against yours, creating a light tink between them, and you both throw the liquor back. You marvel at how it doesn’t burn but instead leaves a warming feeling all the way down.

“So Ben,” a voice says behind you and you turn quickly to look at him, your eyes falling on the same man from the kitchen earlier when Luke was getting a beer for you. He bears a striking resemblance to Kylo and you can’t help but assume that this might be his father considering his presumed close relationship with Leia and Luke, who you now also assume are siblings and potentially the twins you saw a photograph of in Kylo’s office. His light grey hair is styled immaculately on his head, and his eyes crinkle up just like Kylo’s do on the rare occasion that he actually smiles. “This the girl your mother hasn’t stopped talking about?” 

“Y/n,” Kylo says to draw your attention. “This is my father, Han, he’s a real treat clearly.”

“Nice to meet you, sweetheart,” Han says with a grin and grips your hand firmly, giving it three swift shakes. “Obviously my son gets his dashing good looks from me, but clearly you already know.”

“Dad please,” Kylo casually tries to get him to stop and also glances at you in embarrassment. “Y/n and I are merely coworkers.”

“Is that so?” You challenge and Kylo turns his attention to you, his eyes piercing through you and his jaw setting in almost slow motion. 

“She seems to disagree with that statement kid,” Han chuckles and leans back on the counter with his glass, finding a comfortable position for the show he believes he’s about to witness. 

“Don’t do this here,” Kylo warns, ignoring his father and his witty remarks on the other corner of the triangle you three have created in the kitchen. 

“Do what?” You ask quickly with a head tilted and make your eyes huge in your go-to innocent act. “Last time I checked you are correct, we aren’t together, but maybe you want to tell that to the man I met after the dance last weekend who took me back to his townhouse.”

“Y/n,” Kylo nearly hisses and leans back on the other counter across from you where you are leaning forward onto the island, facing directly at him and giving him a clear shot of a bit of cleavage.

“You don’t have an argument for that?” You ask in his absence of response and give him a minute to answer before continuing. “I don’t know why you’re so afraid of being tagged with someone, companionship is a natural human thing, just like failure is, but apparently you live in your own land of delusion where neither of those exists.” 

“Oh boy,” Han laughs. “She has you figured out, I like her.” 

“Dad, I beg you. Please, just shut the fuck up,” Kylo snaps at his father who in response makes a gesture like he’s zipping his lips shut and throwing the key away over his shoulder, followed immediately by him looking at you and winking. 

“Why is my aversion to companionship such a sore subject for you?” Kylo asks with his body turned back towards you. 

“It directly affects me Kylo, have you never thought of that?”

“There are plenty of others out there besides me, why be hung up on a useless cause.” 

“Because as you said, I’m ruined,” you respond without thinking. 

“Whelp I’m going to go catch up with your mother,” Han interjects, finally recognizing that he has overstayed his welcome in this conversation. “Y/n, it was fantastic to meet you,” he says with a nod. “Hopefully I’ll see you around more often.” 

“You as well sir, but I doubt that’ll be the case,” you respond politely. 

“Dad,” Kylo says in an exasperated tone, waiting not so patiently for him to leave you two alone. 

“Alright I’m going, I’m going,” Han jokes with his hands up. “See ya, sweetheart.” 

The air is heavy between you two and you stare at him, your arms crossed in front of you on the island, challenging him to say something. “You happy?” 

“With?”

“You made a scene in front of my father,” Kylo raises his tone and you stand up straight, placing your palms on the granite and leaning forward slightly on them. 

“He seemed to quite enjoy it if you ask me.”

“Well, I didn’t.”

“Obviously,” you huff and take another gulp of the strong drink he made for you. 

“You know what your problem is?” 

“No, but I’m sure you’re about to tell me.” 

“You refuse to accept that someone can be happy alone. You spend all this energy trying to understand me and how I’m perfectly okay with being single, and frankly, it’s exhausting to watch,” he pauses and looks at you, his eyes wild and you look over your shoulder to make sure no one can hear this unpleasant conversation that has turned on you for the worst. 

“As I said, companionship is a normal desire.”

“But I’m not broken for not wishing for it as you like to think I am,” he interrupts you and you just stare at him blankly for a second. “The difference between you and me y/n is I choose to be single, while you, on the other hand, you’re single because someone dumped you and now you can’t stop pinning over someone else long enough to find someone who actually wants you which frankly isn’t me.”

You stare at him stunned at his harshness, his words leaving lashes across your heart like a whip slashing across skin. Tears prickle the corner of your eyes and you look down at your drink, the sound of the party being compressed to that of a dull murmur. “I think I’m done with this.”


	14. She Knows

“I think I’m done with this,” you whisper, your eyes locked on the counter in front of you to avoid his own eyes. 

“Done with what?” Kylo asks with too much disdain and annoyance. 

“This,” you say with more conviction and push off the counter, making a quick beeline for the hallway to your left hoping this passage is the one that leads to the front door. Passing the study where you found Kylo earlier, you realize you in fact took the wrong route, but Kylo following close behind you provides you a strong reason as to why you can’t turn around. 

Letting the stubbornness drive you, you continue down the hallway, coming to a wooden door at the end and you fling it open, praying it’s a room with a locking door. Much to your disappointment, you find a small bathroom but considering that you’re trapped, you think that maybe you can lock yourself in there long enough that he’ll leave you alone.

“Y/n,” Kylo yells through the door and wiggles the handles within seconds of you securing the lock. You watch while backing away from the door as the handle jiggles on your side a little in response but the door thankfully doesn’t budge. Hearing an audible sigh from him, you feel conflicted, wanting to let him in, but also not wanting him anywhere near you. He just flat out told you that he doesn’t want you, and while that fact was beginning to become obvious at times, the mixed signals from him are also exhausting and give you painful false hope. 

He is right though, as much as you want to move on and find someone else, you can’t because you are entirely hung up on him. Obsessed to an unhealthy degree with every quirk of his mouth, every word that slips between his lips, and the fire in his eyes when you look at him. You’re not sure what to label this as, not sure if it’s lust, infatuation, obsession, or something else entirely, but it’s slowly destroying you more and more every day. 

“Y/n,” Kylo says more gently and you shiver in response to your name leaving his lips with the amount of care that seems to be present. “Can you please open the door?” He asks and pauses, leaving you two in silence, the sounds of the party down the hallway muffled slightly by the short distance. 

You can hear him let out a long sigh again and rest his hand on the doorframe, the wood making a cracking sound from the compressing pressure on one side of it. “Listen,” he nearly whispers and you stare at the door in shock, your lips parting as butterflies associated with your nervousness kick up deep in your stomach. “I spoke out of anger and I was wrong. You know I care for you, or at least I hope that by now you’re aware of that. You’re a bright woman, well-read and well educated, miraculously talented in your artistic endeavors, but also one of the most genuine people I have ever met. What your ex didn’t see is beyond me, he really is a fool for letting you get away,” Kylo says with a chuckle and you look over at yourself in the mirror, your eyes scanning across your face as you lean forward on the countertop, leaving your face less than a foot from your reflection. 

“I guess that makes me a fool too for resisting you as I am. There are things about me you don’t understand, things that make me incapable of being who you need. Someone like you needs someone to balance them, not to hold them back, and surely I would hold you back. No question about that,” he laughs again and you look down at the sink for a moment before looking back up at yourself. “I’m not immune to you y/n, far from it actually, how I could be? Someone of your looks, your intelligence, your wit, and your general personality is hard to resist. I wrongly insinuated that you’re single because there’s is something wrong with you, but frankly, the only person who has something wrong with them, is anyone who turns a blind eye to how much of a catch you are. That is of course including myself-“ 

You don’t allow him to finish his sentence by turning quickly and interrupt him by ripping the door open. Clearly, you startle Kylo because he visibly jumps but quickly composes himself, clenching his jaw shut as he regards you with his hands still planted above you on the doorframe. 

“So what exactly are you trying to say Kylo? Because it seems like you’re beating around the bush an awful lot.” 

“I’m trying to say I’m sorry,” he says sheepishly, his eyes burning remorseful holes into you. “I’m sorry I hurt you, not just tonight, but so many other times before.”

His face is framed not only by his raven hair that is tousled more than usual but also by his broad shoulders and biceps that are holding him up against the door frame. You’re effectively trapped in the small bathroom which features only a toilet and sink by him in the doorway, and you feel anxious yet excited by the thought. 

Every fiber in your being is fighting against each other, toying with every option you have in this situation, but there is only one thing at this moment that you know you want to do. With a gulp, you look up at him, meeting his eyes again, still silently wondering why he isn’t moving or doing anything especially considering you are visible to anyone at the other end of the hallway. 

Your impulses take over, and without a backward glance, you reach forward, grabbing his shirt below the collar, and pull him to you, immediately crashing your lips together. Kylo doesn’t skip a beat as he pushes you back against the wall, kicking the door shut behind you with a click of the lock, and engulfs you in his assault of passion. 

You work hastily at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking as you blindly locate each one and fidget with them until they release. His plush lips assault yours greedily, each movement between them hungry and forceful, his hands exploring your body under your dress he is slowing working up your legs.

You’re conflicted, knowing that he just admitted how highly he thinks of you and consequently how attracted he is to you, but also that he will never act on that or do anything about it in a long term manner. The feeling that this is as far as this will ever go makes you feel almost used, but at the same time, you are the one that initiated this. 

The zipper of your dress releases in the back, allowing you to breathe comfortably for the first time all night due to your decision to pick the tightest dress you could find in your closet for the occasion. Kylo’s hands brush across your shoulders, taking your dress with them, and allowing the fabric to fall to your feet as you free his shirt from his waistband and push it off. 

You catch your breath in a surprising moment of stillness, your fingers running hots paths across his soft skin. Lifting your eyes, you meet his again, an unrecognizable moment passing between you two before his lips collide with yours again. 

Grabbing your wrists, he raises them above you, pinning them tightly above your head and elongating your body in front of him. You gasp against his mouth with each kiss as he runs his hand down the front of your body, wasting no time before he slips his fingers under your thong and lets it drop to the ground. 

You ache for him, the wetness already pooling between your legs in anticipation, begging for him. Without warning, Kylo breeches your entrance with two fingers, using your heightened state of arousal to his advantage. Your head falls back against the wall with a thud between your two arms as he drives them in and out of you, his thumb running circles on your clit, and his other hand squeezing tightly around your wrists. 

“Shhhhh,” he shushes in response to a small whimper escaping your lips a small smile on his face while he watches you trapped under his control. “Others might hear you.”

“Wouldn’t want that,” you muster out in a strained voice, your eyes peeking open at him looking at you like he is ready to devour you. 

The depth Kylo is able to reach in you with only his fingers is always impressive and you fight the urge to cry out in response to the harsh stretching of your walls as he slips a third finger into you. “Oh my god,” you sigh as the pleasure mounts in you and Kylo responds by leaning down to take your nipple in his mouth. 

Fighting against his hand between your legs working at you rapidly and his hand holding your arms firmly above your head, you arch your back against the wall and let out a small moan of pleasure, unable to stop it. 

With a growl, Kylo releases you completely before placing his hands on your shoulders and forcing you down to your knees. “Since you can’t keep quiet,” he threatens while working at his belt buckle just to be stopped by your fingers brushing his hands away to undo his pants and drop them at his ankles with his boxer briefs. 

Licking your lips in preparation, you admire the sheer size of him up close, small bubbles already forming at the flushed tip while he kicks his shoes and loose clothing all the way off. Steadying him by wrapping your hand around the bottom of his shaft, you take him in your mouth, parting your lips against it until he nearly touches your throat and then moving back up, making sure to tease with your tongue. 

Kylo’s one hand finds your hair, gripping clumps between his fingers and his palm, and his other finds the wall with a loud thud. “Shit,” he whispers, clearly enjoying your performance and unspokenly encouraging you to continue. 

With a deep breath, you relax your body and your throat, this time not stopping his tip at the back of your teeth, but instead allowing it to come into contact with the back of your throat where you swallow against it. You continue your motions, teasing the tip before shoving it all the way back, and pulling more and more strained sounds from him as his hand wraps tighter in your hair until you can’t bear the pain anymore. 

“Shhhh,” you whisper looking up at him and giving your jaw a chance to relax and he looks down at you, his hair wild and his face flushed. “Others might hear you.”

“You and that smart mouth,” he growls and lifts you up, pushing you up against the small bathroom vanity, your hands finding a spot on either side of the mirror on the wall. Kylo lifts your one knee up on the countertop while using his other hand to run his tip around your entrance, teasing you, all the while watching you in the mirror. 

Your eyes enlarge in panic as the distinct sound of heels approaching gets louder and louder on the hardwood outside of the bathroom. Instead of freezing all movement, Kylo thrusts into you, causing your vision to go black for a moment while you work to clamp your mouth shut in the presence of the new person. 

The handle jiggles a little from the person trying to get in followed by three crisp knocks on the door. “Occupied,” Kylo yells to the other person through gritted teeth, while continuing to thrust slow enough it won’t make any noise. 

“Oh sorry!” The other person responds quickly. “I’ll wait.”

Kylo rolls his eyes as he flips his hair back off his forehead that features beads of sweat, and puffs his cheeks out before responding as coolly as possible. “It’ll be a bit.”

“Oh, my apologies,” the person says in an embarrassed tone of voice. “I’ll go to the other one,” they add quickly and you can hear the sound of their dress shoes getting further away. 

On cue, Kylo snaps his hips into you hard, drawing a quick breath and you pinch your eyes shut. “Keep your eyes open,” he demands and you do as he says. “Look at yourself while I fuck you, watch how your tits bounce, watch that perfect face of yours twist up in pleasure, pleasure you can only get from my cock.”

“Perfect face?” You counter weakly with a smirk and glance up at him. 

“Quiet,” he snaps and reaches around to wrap his hand around your neck, his other hand moving further around in front of you to secure you against him, his one finger slipping down to your clit again. 

Kylo’s hand restricts your airway making it impossible for you to say anything or take much air in at a time and you feel your head getting lighter and lighter as he continues to assault you brutally. You can feel every thrust in your belly button, and the foot of your leg that is propped up cramps as your body winds tighter and tighter. 

“I’m close,” you gasp and look at him over your head, noticing how flushed his face is, how his teeth are clenched, and how you can see veins popping out of his neck. 

“Cum for me,” he musters out through his clenched teeth, clearly fighting his own release. You look back down at yourself, your vision blurred from the pleasure and the tears forming at the corner of your eyes. He clamps his hand even tighter around your neck and you hold your release as long as you can, knowing you’re driving him mad as he begins to lose control of himself. “Damn it y/n,” he curses, knowing how inconceivable close you are as your walls flutter violently around him. 

Finally, you let go, your entire body because engulfed in your orgasm, your hands clenching around the edge of the mirror to the point you fear you might break it. Kylo holds your chin roughly so you have to look at yourself as your eyes dilate and your mouth falls slack, your brows knitted together as you force your eyes to stay open as he commanded. 

With a sharp grunt, you feel him release and he releases your jaw, his hands finding a spot on the vanity next to you as he pumps in and out while dispelling his full load, the extra seeping out and running down your legs. 

Silently, like the other times, Kylo pulls out of you sharply, more wetness seeping down your legs, and reaches for tissues. You stay leaned forward but unfold your leg to place it back on the ground while he gently runs the tissue across your folds and down your legs to clean you up. 

“Thank you,” you whisper in response to his care for you, your cheeks flushing more than they already are out of embarrassment. Kylo peaks at you over your shoulder in the reflection, his expression softened again. 

“Ben?” A woman’s voice yells through the door with a knock and you both break out of the trance you were in.

“Shit,” he whispers and picks up your dress and underwear for you to slip on while he finishes cleaning himself up. 

“Ben are you okay?” The woman yells through the door again. 

“Is that your mom?” You whisper as quietly as possible. 

“Yes!” He yells back to her and nods at you with an eye roll. You give him a panicked look wondering how the hell you’re going to get out of the one. 

“Maz said you sounded like you might be sick when she came to use the restroom and I just wanted to make sure you didn’t need anything,” Leia adds. 

You slip the dress up and over your shoulders and turn, waiting for Kylo to slip his dress shirt on so he can help you zip it up. 

“Mom, I promise you I’m fine,” Kylo yells. 

“Okay, okay. Just checking,” she concedes and begins walking away. “Come find me when you’re out.” 

“Okay,” Kylo agrees and turns to you, reading your silent request, his fingers finding the zipper and pulling it up. You watch his eyes that follow the dress as it regains its shape around your curves, and you swear you see him gulp in response. 

You shutter as he turns you and backs your ass up against the vanity again, and plants his hands on your hips. He’s close to your face when you look up at him, his eyes searching yours, his lips parted. “We should get back to the party,” you whisper and reach out to begin buttoning his shirt back up. Kylo doesn’t stop you, just watches you with tenderness in his eyes, until you reach the third from the top button. You secure it quickly and reach up to straighten out his collar while he tucks the bottom of his shirt in and fastens his belt.

“What?” You ask, aware that Kylo has not taken his eyes away from your face and you feel uncomfortable because you don’t know what he’s thinking. 

“Nothing,” he shakes his head and backs up, looking over you to readjust his hair in the mirror. “Let’s get back.”

“Okay,” you agree hesitantly and wait as he cautioulsy opens the door and peaks out to make sure the coast is clear before stepping out into the hallway. 

Kylo cordially places his hand on your back as you two begin your approach back to the party, your dinner nearly making a reappearance as you look up at the end of the hallway to find Leia there, watching you two with a smirk on your face. 

“She knows,” you whisper and duck into the study to get out of her sight. 

“Let me go see what it is she wants, I’ll come to get you,” Kylo offers and you nod, watching as he steps back out into the hallway. 

You look around the room in a panic, feeling uncomfortable as if everyone knows what just happened when in all actuality, no one is looking at you or probably even aware of your presence considering you’re a stranger to all but one. 

Scanning the room, your eyes fall on a pair of double doors on the other side of the room and you plan your immediate escape. Slinking around the side of the room, politely stepping past some of the partygoers, you reach the doors. With a click, the lock lets go and you step outside, the cool air hitting you like a wall and relaxing your senses. 

You sneak around the house, avoiding all windows, and keeping your head ducked down until you can reach your car. Not waiting for the car to warm up, you pull out of the driveway, not bothering to go get your coat that is in the front entryway closet of the house. 

Your phone buzzes in the cup holder and your car bings, the automated voice announcing “new message from Kylo Ren. Would you like me to read it?”

Your knuckles are white around the steering wheel as you toy with your decision, not even sure why you’re running away and consequently not wanting to see what the message says due to your lack of explanation. 

“No,” you say sharply and the alert disappears from the screen, and you turn up the music in an attempt to drown out your own thoughts.


	15. Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the delay! I had this chapter written but then completely changed a few things in later chapters that then required me to rewrite this one.

You sit on your bed, huddled under multiple blankets, Bee snuggled up next to you and your favorite guilty pleasure show on the tv. Someone has texted and called you at least ten times, but you left your phone on the kitchen counter where you aren’t tempted to look at it every few seconds but you can assume it’s Kylo.

It’s still a mystery even to you why your instinct was to run, why you needed so desperately to get out immediately, but the bigger mystery now is why Kylo even cares enough to try and get a hold of you. His texting like he cares is so unlike him, especially considering the great lengths he went to in order to tell you that you two would never be together and that alone has you spooked and confused. 

The buzzer at the bottom of the stairs rings out and you jump, Bee sitting up abruptly to look at you, the cat's eyes huge from being startled awake out of a dead sleep. It’s after midnight, far too late for anything good to come from you opening the door to whoever it is, especially because you know with almost complete certainty who will be waiting on the other side of the door just as you know who the culprit of your incessantly buzzing phone is. 

Your phone buzzes loudly on the countertop again and you sigh after the third buzz, knowing it’s a phone call. Your curiosity wins over your fragile willpower and you boost yourself off your bed, trudging over to the kitchen and take the annoying piece of technology in your hand. With no surprise, you find the name “Kylo Ren” lit up on your screen within a red bubble, and you stare at it waiting for the buzzing to stop and your background to once again reappear. 

A minute later, your phone buzzes once, announcing a new voicemail. Hesitantly, you hit play and bring the phone to your ear, letting yourself sink back in the pillows on your bed while you listen to whatever it is he needs to say to you. 

‘Hi, it’s me’ he begins and you note the tone of desperation that you’re skeptical of in his voice. ‘Can you just open the door? I need to talk to you-‘ 

You don’t listen to the rest of his message, just pull the phone away from your ear and set it next to you on the bed. Kylo calls three more times, each time you just stare at the phone until it stops ringing, followed by the buzz announcing another voicemail.

On the fourth call, you pick up, abruptly hitting accept and placing it to your ear, but you don’t say anything.

“Y/n?” Kylo says cautiously, gauging if you’re there and in what state you are in. 

“Kylo what are you doing?” 

“Can you just open the door please?” 

“Answer my question,” you demand. 

“I just need to talk to you.”

“I’m tired of talking Kylo, it always ends the same way. You tell me we can’t be together, I’m heartbroken by your honesty, we get caught in a fit of passion, you fuck my brains out, and then I drive home or fall asleep crying.”

“Y/n,” Kylo pleads softly and you roll your eyes. 

“I can’t open that door,” you state and stare straight ahead at the wall across your apartment. 

“Well,” he pauses and lets the word hang for a second. “I’m going down to Luke’s until bar close. I’d love for you to join me.”

“I’ll think about it,” you say cooly with no intention of actually going to meet him and wait for him to say something. Not surprising to you, he doesn’t respond and the line goes dead with a click. 

His lack of response does more to you than you care to admit, taking your previous lack of care and indifference in an attempt to protect yourself and twisting it into a need to feel loved and desired again. Surely he must know how much those little acts affect you and that has to be why he does it, knowingly driving you absolutely mad. 

The television continues to play in the background but you can’t hear it anymore, it’s almost as if time has stilled completely and your thoughts are running in hyper speed. With a violent shake of your head, you break yourself out of your trance and don’t waste another moment before you’re on your feet and collecting clothes. 

Your skin is free of makeup, your hair is still curled around your face from the party, and your face features the thick-framed glasses you only wear at night when your eyes are getting too tired to focus. Your appearance will surely make you stick out in the weekend bar crowd but you care so little at this point, knowing you just need to handle this Kylo thing.

On your walk there, you nearly turn back home multiple times, trying to convince yourself that bar close is in an hour and he’ll be leaving at that point anyway. You’re too weak and you can’t make yourself turn back, your feet propelling you blindly along. 

Heaving the door open and stepping in, your eyes almost immediately meet Kylos where he sits on the other side of the bar right next to the server’s POS. You can feel your thumping pulse in your throat and you swallow hard, your knees shaking below you, and a nervous flutter erupting in your gut. 

Kylo stands, leaving his drink on the counter, his hands blindly guiding his chair out of the way while his eyes remain locked on you. The urge to run away again becomes even stronger with each step he takes towards you and all moisture leaves your mouth from nervousness. 

“Hi,” you say simply as soon as he’s in front of you, your hands secured in your pockets to hide the tight fists you have them balled into. 

“Hi,” he says simply back and shoves his hands in his own pockets as well, his eyes scanning across your face in slow motion from underneath his black hair that has fallen into his face. 

“You wanted to talk?” 

“I guess,” he mutters and fluffs his hair on the top of his head. “Yes,” he says with more confidence. “I did.” 

“Okay…” you look around and pull your jacket around you tighter, feeling completely out of place. 

“It’s loud here, you want to go back to your place?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you unconvincingly say and look back up at him, which is another mistake you can add to the list of your constant slipups. 

“Completely innocent this time,” Kylo assures you and you raise your eyebrow at him, wondering if he’s at all capable of that. 

“I think this was a mistake,” you blurt out and step back like an animal trapped by its prey looking for an out. “I should have just stayed home.”

“No y/n” Kylo tries to argue desperately. “Please, just stay.”

You shake your head at him, tears pooling in the inner corners of your eyes and you suck your bottom lip in and underneath your teeth, the image of him in your vision blurred by the tears. “I should go,” you muster out through a whisper and turn quickly, flinging the door open, and nearly running down the sidewalk. 

“Y/n!” You hear Kylo yell and his dress shoes clicking on the cement of the sidewalk a little bit behind you, causing you to quicken your own pace to ensure you aren’t caught by him. 

When you reach the apartment door, you sift blinding in your deep pockets in search of your keys, cursing yourself for not getting them out sooner. Your frozen fingers fumble with them unsuccessfully finding the keyhole before your hand is engulfed by his as he reaches you. 

“Stop running,” he whispers and turns you slowly, his hands hesitating on your hips before you step back away from him until your back comes into contact with the door. “We can’t keep doing this,” he sighs and you feel your heart completely wilt. A small part of you was stupidly hoping that maybe him insisting you talk would result in him finally conceding and admitting he wants more, but now you know that you were just naive for thinking that. Kylo Ren would never subject himself to that level of humility. 

“You’re right,” you agree quietly, your eyes avoiding his by focusing on the buttons of his jacket. 

“I haven’t been fair to you, and it wasn’t clear to me until tonight when you disappeared. I’ve hurt you,” he nearly whispers and you look up at him, the tears having since dried to your eyelashes and causing them to stick together as you open your eyes up fully to look at him.”I don’t think I was 100% truthful about what I wanted because y/n, I,” 

“No I know,” you interrupt, and Kylo clamps his mouth shut in shock. “It’s okay, you were clear that you didn’t want anything more than a hookup and yet I let my emotions get involved. I promise you, I’m done doing that. From here on out, any involvement we have with each other is purely physical or professional, there’s no more games, no grey area, and I will begin to look for a suitable partner elsewhere.”

“Is that really what you want?” Kylo verifies.

You don’t audibly respond, just nod your head up and down in agreeance.

“Then why don’t I believe you?” He whispers and your eyes flick up to his as he leans forward onto the door, leaving his face inches from yours. 

“I don’t know,” you lie, holding his eye contact and audibly gulping. “Maybe you’re just not a trusting person.”

“That’s true, I’m not,” he agrees, dropping his eyes down to your lips and running his thumb across your bottom lip slowly, his entire body weight leaning on his left hand next to you. “But I also think you’re a shit liar.” His mischievous eyes return to yours, a small smirk pulling at the right side of his mouth, and his thumb pressing against the middle of your bottom lip. 

“You should go,” you whisper, your voice strained slightly by him still immobilizing your bottom lip with his fingers hooked underneath your chin, your plump lips pressing against his thumb.

“Should I?” 

“You’re playing games,” you say with warning, pointing out to him that he’s doing the exact opposite of what you said you wouldn’t do. 

“Makes it exciting I guess,” he says darkly as he pushes off the door from next to your head, the absence of his close presence allowing you to take in a full breath again. “If you want me to go, I’ll go y/n,” he says and you shiver in your coat, wrapping it around you tighter as if your arms wrapped around you will keep you warmer. “But you need to tell me that’s what you want.”

You gulp again, knowing he’s calling your bluff, quite blatantly you might add, backing you into a corner until there is no escape and you have to admit the truth to him. 

“Y/n?” He questions and steps forward with his hands in his pockets, his predatory state affecting you more than ever as you feel your knees physically trying to buckle underneath you and your center already warming up. 

“Stop saying my name,” you whisper desperately as his hand wraps up and around the side of your face and you close your eyes to bask in the gentle touch. His thumb runs paths across your cheekbone, and your breath deepens, your lips parting as you melt into the gesture. 

“Y/n,” Kylo says again and you open your eyes, your vision adjusting to bring him back into focus in his close proximity. “What do you want?”

“This isn’t fair,” you whisper out. 

“What’s not fair?”

“This,” you respond and stare into his eyes, your own gaze flicking back and forth between his brown eyes that look nearly black in the dark light. “You know at the end of the day that I’ll choose you. You’ll always be my first choice, you said it yourself, I’m ruined by you. Ruined for you.”

“Stop fighting it,” he whispers as his other hand finds a spot on your other cheek so your face is entirely contained within his grasp. 

“I can’t,” you choke out and squeeze your eyes shut, salty tears being pressed out between your eyelids. “I can’t be the only one,” you add and let out a breath of relief, immediately feeling like a weight has been lifted off of our shoulders. 

“What are you talking about?” 

“I can’t be the only one trying,” you clarify. 

Kylo scrunches his eyebrows together and runs his finger under your eye, prompting you to open your eyes again and look at him, the sight of his face so close to yours causing your stomach to drop again. “Then let me try,” he whispers and closes the gap between you, connecting his lips with yours and slowly resting his body up against yours against the door.

Everything in you screams for you to stop because you know in the morning he’ll be back to being cold and distant, but right now, in this very moment, this feels so good. You feel so victorious, having conquered the giant, proving yet again that he does in fact have a heart and some semblance of humanity, even if it is deep down. Really deep down. 

The way he kisses you is so confusing, most days it’s desperate and lustful, but other days there is so much care behind each suck of your lip, each squeeze of his hand, and each synchronized breath that you almost convince yourself that he feels more for you than he surely does. With one arm across your back, he pulls you flush against his front, his other hand taking your keys and blindly shoving them into the keyhole with impressive ease. 

Pulling your lips from his, he releases you to walk into your apartment unhindered by him and remove your jacket, hanging yours followed by his on the hook at eye level. 

“We don’t have to,” you point out to him while uncomfortably pulling your hands into your sweatshirt sleeves.

“I know,” he whispers with a smile and you feel yourself melt from embarrassment and happiness as you turn and walk up the stairs with him a few steps behind you. 

“I smell like cigars from the party though so you probably want to keep me away from your bed and any other soft surfaces.”

“I have a shower,” you point out, your cheeks immediately flushing and making you glad your back is still to him. “You’re welcome to use it.”

“If you don’t mind,” he says hesitantly. “I’d hate to taint your apartment.”

“Okay,” you laugh and shake your head at him. “This way.”

The walk to the bathroom is no more than 30 feet but it feels like you have to walk miles to get there. Kylo walks casually behind you with his hands in his pockets, completely unphased as always.

“The nob sticks,” you explain as you spin it and water immediately pours out of the showerhead above and mists you with the overspray. “And it’s backward, so just keep that in mind while adjusting the temperature.”

“Noted,” he laughs, leaning back against the sink with his arms crossed and watching you dig in the basket that sits on the ground and pull out a towel. 

“Nothing fancy, but these will do. You’re welcome to use whatever you want in the shower,” you say quickly and hand the towel and washcloth to him, avoiding his eyes because you know your face is bright red again. Not wasting a second, you make a beeline pst him to the door, but are stopped by his hand grasping your wrist firmly. 

You turn in slow motion, looking down at your hand in his first then back up at him. Kylo’s face is tense, his lips parted to allow his breath in and out, and his eyes dropped open wide. 

“What are you doing?” You whisper in a raspy voice and glance back down at his hand that is adjusting to hold yours more securely. 

“You know exactly what I’m doing,” he mutters and tugs you back to him, reaching over your head and closing the bathroom door with an echoey thud.

You don’t fight him, just allow him to push you back against the sink until your butt hits the cold tile and he leans up against you, his hands caressing the side of your face and neck. Your fingers snake down to his waistband and you loosen the belt, followed by the button of his pants, and tug them down as he shimmies out of his dress shirt. 

Watching with peaked interest, you watch his muscles ripple as he reaches up over his head and tugs his undershirt off before discarding it to the side and returning his lips back to yours. 

Consumed by him, you barely even notice as he works at your top and breaks his contact for a second to pull the bunched up fabric over your head and discard it to the side. Your pants stick on your legs due to the humidity collecting in the small bathroom and Kylo bends down to tug them off all the way, returning to a standing position by running his hand up the inside of your leg slowly until it brushes against your center, drawing a noticeable shiver from you.

Kylo’s skin is hot and warms your chilled body as he wraps you up in him and pushes you gently back until your stepping blindly into the shower. The water gives you a chance to close your eyes and dip your head under the water to wet your hair down, allowing you to try and ignore his noticeable presence directly in front of you long enough to control the nerves inside you. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been in a version of this scenario because his presence alone is enough to bring you to your knees over and over again. 

His hands finding a spot on each side of your waist brings you back to reality and you step back, pulling him into the water that streams over your head, where he wets his own hair down and tosses the dark hair back. You don’t know how it’s possible, but the sight of him in the shower is even more erotic than you ever imagined possible and you gulp while taking the entire sight in. 

The water trails across his broad muscles like sheeting rain on a windshield and then pools into a river in the dips between them, rushing madly downwards to drop back down to the floor. Despite his attempts to keep it back, clumps of wet hair continue to fall onto his face, sticking to his forehead and cheek in small c-shaped curls that beg you to play with them. 

You reach up and push one of the wet strands of his face, allowing your fingers to linger and trail down his beauty mark speckled skin. Kylo’s eyes drop from your eyes down to your lips, giving you enough warning to compose yourself before he engulfs your lips with his again, both of you taking a sharp breath in against the other’s cheek. 

A moan escapes your lips as he pulls you firmly up against his leg and grinds into you, sending tingles of building pleasure through every point of your body. You feel so small in his arms, both of them wrapping around you with ease and lifting you nearly off the floor of the shower. 

With a gasp, his hands reach behind you and hoist you up, your legs finding their spot on his hips and you’re ankles crossing over each other behind his back.

Kylo’s hand moves to your hair, pulling your head back to expose your neck to him and immobilize you in his arms, his other hand squeezing your ass tightly and you feel yourself coming undone. With gentle motions, he grinds himself up against your opening with the side of his hardened cock, coiling you up further and further with his gentle teasing. 

“Kylo,” you plead in almost a whisper. 

“Hmmm?” He mumbles against your neck as he continues to lazily assault your skin, leaving small patches of red delicately placed with intention. 

You don’t respond to him, the message in your plead clear but you also know he’s not going to give you what you want immediately. Bending forward and supporting you with his hands, Kylo takes your nipples into his mouth, drawing a small yelp from you as he clamps down lightly with his teeth and runs his tongue across the hardened bud. You squirm in his arms, fighting to get closer to him and further things along. 

“Greedy,” he chuckles as he releases your nipple and grazes the other one with his tongue, taking it into his mouth for a moment. You wiggle even more in his arms as he moves his mouth up only inches and sucks against the supple skin of your breast, bringing a bright red patch quickly to the surface. “To remind you who you belong to,” he growls darkly and you note the sinister switch in his composure, one that drives you even crazier. 

His member twitches below you and you loosen your legs enough to allow your hips to move down until your entrance is positioned right against his tip.

“Trying to tell me something?” Kylo asks as he leans back and looks at you, his eyes wild. You stare up at him, your lips parted from arousal, your eyelashes weighed down with water that drips off with each blink. The hot water crashes down on both of you, pooling between your bodies before cascading off the side and warming your otherwise clammy skin. 

“Take a hint,” you challenge and you watch his pupils dilate.

“Now she’s giving orders?” 

You smirk and raise your eyebrow at him, your hand finding a spot at the nape of his neck and your fingers intertwining with the wet clumps of hair. With a sudden jolt, he slams into you, drawing a short scream from you, your head falling back against the wall. “Who’s pussy is this?” 

You smile a touch and draw your head back forward to look at him. “Yours,” you respond simply, drawing out every sound of the word at a glacial pace as he seats you fully on his cock until you can feel him at what seems like the base of your rib cage. 

“Don’t forget that,” he warns and pulls almost completely out of you, just to slam back into you. 

His eyebrows scrunching together and his eyes finding a spot on your collarbone to focus on. Kylo’s lips part as his cheeks redden, the space between them revealing the small gap between his teeth that gives his toothy smile so much personality. 

“Fuck” Kylo whispers suddenly and releases one of his hands that was supporting you, immediately colliding it with the shower wall next to your head and his face stopping right next to your head where you can feel his breath on your neck. 

“What?” You ask, not used to him reacting like that even though his assaults have no let up even in his tense state.

“How the fuck,” he whispers between each intentional thrust. “Do you,” he gulps with another thrust, the sound of him struggling making you more and more aroused. “Continue to get better,” he pauses again. “Every time.”

“I don’t know,” you respond, feeling yourself coiling tighter around him, your walls fluttering rapidly.

“Drives me crazy,” he sputters and brings his face back in front of yours, so close that your foreheads almost touch. At this vantage point, his gaze is even more intense, intimidating even but you can’t pull your eyes away because you’re trapped again. 

Kylo moves desperately, staring deep into your eyes, his mouth still parted, and water dripping from his hair around his face into your own, the water in his hair having since cooled and each splash almost refreshing against your hot skin. 

“I,” Kylo sputters and drops his eyes for a second, his cheeks puffing out. “Damn it.”

The blood in your head pounds violently in time with Kylo’s thrusts, and you can feel every muscle in your body tensing, your hand closing around his hair in response to the intoxicating sweet pleasure that is building in you. “I’m so close,” you cry, barely able to keep your eyes open. 

“Look at me,” Kylo commands and you bring your eyes back to his, noticing now that his jaw is clenched as if he’s fighting his own release. 

With a cry, your body reaches your release, all of your muscles throbbing with pleasure, and your walls fluttering around him. Your hands tense on his skin and in his hair, your eyes trying to close on themselves, but you force them to stay open, force them to stay locked on the beautiful dark brown eyes staring down at you. 

Kylo’s forehead falls against yours, his skin even hotter than yours, and his eyes pinch shut as you feel him throb and release into you, his breathing uneven and desperate. You can’t help but to stare at him and take in every detail of him while you come down from your own high. At this proximity, you notice even more small beauty marks and how the water droplets hang on his surprisingly long lashes, but the thing you never noticed before was the faintest line on his cheek and forehead, a small scar etched into his skin. 

Out of curiosity, you reach up and run your finger down the faint line, only able to see about an inch total, but knowing that at one point in time, the scar must have been much longer. Kylo’s eyes shoot open and peer at you, an involuntary gulp escaping you as you feel that he’s going to be angry with you. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper and squirm a little, now feeling like you’re overstaying your welcome in his arms. 

“Don’t apologize,” he assures and pulls out of you gently before setting you down, your feet coming into contact with the floor that has accumulated about an inch of water.

“Okay,” you whisper sheepishly and turn to the water to wash your face off before stepping out of the stream to lather yourself with soap. The two of you shower in silence, neither of you knowing what to say now, just taking turns cleaning up and washing the events that just transpired off your skin.

Before Kylo is done showering, you step out and retrieve a second towel, dabbing at your skin with it and squeezing your hair gently. The water turns off with a loud squeal of the sticky faucet and you hand a towel to Kylo as he turns and steps out of the glass door, closing it gently behind him. 

You wrap quickly in your towel, turning your back to him to face the mirror, suddenly hyper-aware of your nakedness in his presence despite the far more vulnerable positions you have been in in his company before. 

“I’m going to finish my nightly routine,” you explain while wiping your face down. “I’ll meet you out there.”

Kylo gathers his clothes silently behind you and startles you by setting them on the counter next to you. “Y/n,” he says in a low voice and trails his fingers over your shoulder to the base of your neck. His other hand turns you gently and you look up at him curiously. Kylo scans your entire face as if he’s trying to commit it to memory, his hands holding you still but cupping your neck and your jawline. 

With a cautious movement, he leans down and brushes his lips across yours, your eyes closing from the exhilarating sensation like a teenager being kissed for the first time, his plush lips guiding you from kiss to kiss so that they blur into one. It takes a second for you to realize he has stood back up, and when you open your eyes, he’s fixing his hair, grabbing his clothes, and sneaking past you out the door. 

You rush through getting ready for bed, noting that your cheeks are more flushed than normal and watching as the small red patches on your skin deepen in color the longer you watch them. Calming your nerves with a deep breath, you open the door and pad down the hallway, scanning your entire apartment quickly for Kylo, your eyes settling on Bee who sits at the top of the stairs. 

Your heart sinks instantly, knowing that your cat always sits at the top of the stairs like that when someone leaves in hopes that that person will return. “He’s not coming back,” you explain to the small cat quietly and pat his head. “Come on,” you add to get the cat to follow you. 

Reaching your bed, you pull your covers back and sneak into them, still wrapped in your towel, and pull the blankets back up under your chin. You stare at the wall in front of you, the feeling of betrayal nearly outweighing the embarrassment of tonight, knowing that he just played you, pleaded for you to let him in, pretend that it’s something more, then ran away and once again abandoned you. 

The pillow beneath your face is wet, but you can’t physically move, all you can do is stare at that same point on your wall until eventually, your eyes close on their own.


	16. Audacity

“Okay, then what happened?” Rose asks, her elbows planted firmly on the table and her face lit up as if you’re telling her the most interesting story ever. 

“Well,” you begin and take a slow sip of your coffee, looking around the rest of the teacher lounge to verify that no one else is present. “I looked around the room after she left me alone, assuming that I would be able to tell who her son is because he would most likely bear some resemblance to her. There were a bunch of young men in the room, but instead of finding this faceless stranger, I found Kylo who of course had to come over by me and make things awkward.”

“So you never met her son?” Rose verifies with her eyes squinted in confusion and her lips pulled into a straight line.

“If I tell you this, you have to swear to tell no one else,” you threaten and she nods enthusiastically, ready to get the juicy gossip. “Kylo is Mrs. Organa’s son.”

“Like the Vice-Principal?” She asks with her face scrunched up even more. 

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“But they have different last names.”

“His real name is Ben Solo, her husband’s last name is Solo but she kept her maiden name for work purposes after obtaining her degree.”

“Weird,” Rose whispers in disbelief. “I’ve worked here for five years and never picked up on that. What is also strange is that she knows you two work together in multiple different capacities, but she was being so secretive about you meeting her son.” Rose makes air quotes with her fingers as she says ‘son’ and sits back in her chair. 

“It’s strange, that’s for sure,” you mumble, focusing your attention on your granola bar which is some of the only food you’ve eaten all day, and breaking it apart to eat. 

“Does he know his mom is trying to set you two up?” Rose asks, her eyes getting even larger than they already are. 

“He does now,” you laugh and shake your head at the table. “It made for an interesting night,” you trail off, the thought of you two in the bathroom at the party flashing through your mind again followed immediately by a resurgence of the pain you felt after he left your apartment unannounced. 

With an ear-piercing squeal, the door opens, banging against the wall behind it and swinging back shut and you look up, your eyes falling on Kylo, his glasses on his face and a packet of papers open in front of him so that he can read it as he walks. He doesn’t bother to look up to see who is in the lounge, leaving him oblivious to the fact that you two are in the same vicinity and your stomach lurches, this being the first time you’ve seen him since he kissed you in your bathroom. You’d sent an email to him this morning explaining that you had a parent meeting to attend during class and he’d be on his own for the lecture today, not that you both didn’t know the truth to that lie, but it was nice to not have to see him in a classroom that would have seemed all too small to share with all of your students in your current state.

Rose looks over at you, her mouth hanging open with a smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Kylo,” Rose blurts out and you nearly choke on the coffee that you were drinking in an attempt to mask your nerves.

“Rose!” You whisper in panic and sit forward, having awful flashbacks to when you were actually in High School and your friends tried to ‘help’ you talk to your crush in the lunchroom.

Kylo looks up from his paper, first at Rose then at you, his eyes hanging on yours a little too long before flicking back to Rose’s with his eyebrows up.

“Yes?” He asks completely unamused but you catch that his cheeks are turning a light pink color right along his cheekbones.

“Y/n was just telling me about the party this weekend,” Rose says casually and sits forward, resting her chin on her fist with a smile. 

“Is that so?” Kylo asks as he shifts his eyes back to yours and you gulp in response to the eye contact. 

“Apparently it was quite the party,” Rose adds. “Right Y/n?”

“Of course, but we don’t need to tell you that, you were there and obviously know,” you add, trying to prompt him to leave the conversation.

“That I do,” Kylo agrees with a darkness to his voice as he grabs a chair and leans back on it. “Tell me, Rose, what did y/n say was her favorite part of the evening?”

“Oh,” Rose stutters and looks at you panicked, realizing her little prank is backfiring to exponential levels because you hadn’t shared any details that didn’t involve him and the secret she isn’t supposed to know. “She didn’t give me many details really.”

“I see,” Kylo acknowledges and turns his attention on you. His gaze is sinister causing your face to twitch and you cross your legs in response to the heat that is pooling quickly between your legs. You hate yourself for still being so affected by him despite the emotional turmoil he put you through the other night. He obviously notices as his eyes travel down to your lap then back up to your face, his eyebrow quirking up a touch with the corner of his mouth. “I’m curious y/n, was it the drinks I so graciously made for you which you enthusiastically consumed? Oh, maybe it was the catering, that was fantastic, wasn’t it? Or maybe the private tour you received of the house, particularly the back hallway? You were down there for an awful long time I remember. The after-party in town was pretty memorable as well though...”

Rose glances between you two curiously, trying to figure out why you two are acting so strange and why your cheeks are such a bright red color as you glare at him, wondering how he has the audacity to put you on the spot like this after what he pulled.

“Anyways, I should be going,” Kylo says and pushes off from his reclined standing position. “Have a good evening ladies.” 

“Bye,” you both say politely and wait for the door to close behind him. 

“What was that?” Rose asks as soon as his footsteps have trailed off down the hallway. 

“Hell if I know,” you shrug, trying to get your cheeks to cool off. “He’s an odd duck.”

“He made you drinks and you went to an after-party with him? You didn’t mention that!”

“Didn’t think it was important,” you shrug again, wishing you could just lay down and die. 

“You think he’s into you?” Rose asks with shock. “He was practically undressing you right there.”

“I highly doubt that Rose.”

“I’m sure he’s great in bed,” Rose whispers and you look at her in shock. “What? You can’t tell me you never thought about him in the manner. He exudes some intense dom vibes for sure.”

“Yeah?” You say as nonchalantly as possible.

“Oh for sure,” she nods and you feel yourself practically dying as you lie to your friend knowing full well just how mindblowing sex with him is. 

“I should be going. I need to load the kiln before I leave for the night,” you say quickly and stand, grabbing your belongings and stacking them in your arms. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Bye y/n!” Rose says in her usual chipper tone behind you while getting up to collect her papers that were running on the copy machine and you rush out of the lounge, almost unable to get out of the room fast enough. 

The halls are empty, all of the teachers either packing up from the day or having already left. You rush back to your room, electing to take the shortcut past the history hallway even though you know you run the risk of encountering Kylo, but considering how focused he was on those papers in his hands you’re positive he’s far too busy to pay you any attention or emerge from his classroom until he’s done. 

You breeze past the hallway, thankful that his classroom door was shut and you went undetected to him, meaning you can have a drama-free end to the day and be on your way home to enjoy a peaceful evening with Bee. 

Just as you reach your classroom again, you note that the lights you had previously turned off when you left are back on, but you chalk it up to the custodians having come around to empty the trash and then forgetting to turn them back off as is pretty usual.

Your stomach lurches violently as you open the door to find Kylo sitting in the chair at your desk, his ankle crossed across his knee and his hands clasped on his lap. 

“Fuck Kylo,” you gasp, nearly dropping your books from your arms as you regain your composure, your one hand on your chest.

“So we’re telling our coworkers about our escapades now?” Kylo asks with a crisp tone of disapproval to his voice. 

Realizing this is a conversation others probably shouldn’t be hearing, you close your classroom door, and step forward, planting your hands on the front of your desk and leaning forward towards him. Kylo watches you with his face straight, but you can see a small smirk attempting to pull at his lips as he glances down at your gaping shirt. 

“If you must know, I told her very little,” you assure him and glare down at him. 

“So she doesn’t have any knowledge of our little affair?”

“No knowledge whatsoever,” you respond with a shake of your head. “Although, your little stunt there tipped her off pretty well. She was talking about your attraction to me and the dom vibes you exude after you left.”

“Attraction?” Kylo asks, his smile curling up a little more. “Dom vibes?” He adds and his smile continues to grow.

“Oh don’t do that,” you snap and stand up with an eye roll and walk over to the kiln room that is attached to the large studio classroom. Hoisting the lid of the kiln open, you start loading some of the pieces your students made into it, knowing Kylo has now found a spot in the doorway behind you with his shoulder leaning against the frame. 

“Do what y/n?” Kylo asks casually from his spot in the doorway. 

“You know,” you roll your eyes and glance at him, regretting your decision to do so because of how good he looks in his quarter-zip pullover that he of course has the sleeves pulled up of to expose his forearms. “Pretend that you’re entirely indifferent to me.”

“Why?”

“It’s exhausting?”

“In what way?”

“Is this an interview or something?” You snap and turn to look at him, an unfired ceramic bowl in your hand. 

“Just curious,” he shrugs with a smile and you feel your heart leap at the sight of it as you turn back to the kiln to distract yourself. “Isn’t it exhausting being wound so tightly all the time?”

“Last time I checked you liked how tight I was considering your inability to compose yourself the other night,” you mutter without thinking, immediately regretting that comment. 

“Oh?” Kylo practically purrs behind you and the heavy metal fire door of the kiln room slams shut, leaving you two in a tightly enclosed space with no windows or cameras. 

“Please open the door,” you say with timid force, keeping yourself focused on the ceramic pieces and trying to ignore his presence directly behind you.

“Why?” He whispers and rests both of his hands on your waist, causing you to nearly drop a ceramic piece so you quickly bend over and set it down, knowing that small movement is probably driving him mad.

“This is inappropriate,” you respond and set your hands on the kiln, refusing to turn to him. 

“Says who?” He whispers against your neck, the feeling of his breath on your skin sending shivers all the way through you like an intense electric current. 

“I’m sure there’s some rule about this,” you respond, unable to give an exact example from the handbook. 

“So you’re telling me there is an explicit rule telling me that it would be inappropriate for me to bend you over right now and fuck you until you screamed my name in this…” he pauses and looks up and around, “enclosed private room that would surely muffle noise?” 

You have to physically stop your head from falling back as he talks, his hands spreading out around your midsection and flexing occasionally to grab your subtle curves. “Exactly,” you choke out. 

“You don’t make a very convincing argument y/n,” he purrs, his hand slipping down to trace soft lines around your crotch. 

“Kylo,” you whisper in a combination of desire and desperation to stop. 

“Like putty in my hands,” Kylo growls and nips at your shoulder he has exposed by pulling your jacket back. “Watch what you say to others lest I have to teach you another lesson.” His hands turn you roughly, backing your butt up against the metal kiln behind you. “I’ll be watching,” he whispers, your lips so close they are almost touching. Your lips part and your eyes close, the desire mounting even further in you. “I always am because I can’t help it,” he adds and releases you, making a beeline for the door and letting himself out with a quick glance back at you accompanied with a sly wink. 

“Then why did you leave?” You blurt out even though he’s out of sight, his footsteps stilling in the echoey studio. With a shy gaze, he peaks back around the corner of the doorframe and fixes his hair before leaning against the frame again with his hands in his pockets in a more timid stance. 

“Well?” You prompt, annoyed that he isn’t saying anything. 

Kylo’s jaw shifts and he brings his hand up to rub it as he thinks, his eyes glancing down at the floor. “Honestly?” Kylo asks and looks back up. 

“That’d be nice,” you snap and cross your arms. 

“I don’t know,” he shrugs and holds your gaze, the absolute stupidity of his answer freezing you in place. 

“You don’t know?” You clarify and look up at the harsh fluorescent lights in disbelief. “Of course you fucking don’t.”

“Y/n,” Kylo steps forward with his hand outstretched and says your name with the same softness that draws you back in every time. The softness that makes you feel loved by him even though you know at this point asking him to love is an impossible feat in his book. 

“No,” you snap and put your hands up, stopping him inches from you. “Leave. I’m done.”

“What?”

“This,” you motion between you two and roll your shoulders back. “This is done. I can’t do this anymore and you clearly don’t get it. You’ve hurt me enough and I’m not going to let it happen anymore. You are my coworker, nothing more.”

“If that’s what you want?” Kylo fishes, attempting to hopefully your bluff again and place the decision on you so he’s virtually innocent. A textbook move that you’ve witnessed too many times. 

“It is,” you lie, but stand firm, keeping your eyes locked on him in challenge. 

After a prolonged moment of silence between you two, neither of you budging, Kylo pushes off from the door frame and turns, and without looking back, exits the classroom, the click of the latch announcing his departure. As soon as the click rings through the empty studio, you let out a long breath, relief flooding in, a weight lifted off of you, and the chains that he placed on you the moment you nearly spilled that damned cup of coffee on him fall off entirely. The freedom your words bring you is like a breath of fresh hair but it’s still tainted by the dusty remnants he left behind, not allowing you to fully fill your lungs without coughing and you fear that no matter what you do, that you’ll never be able to fully escape him.


	17. Not A Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, sorry for the delay! I like to stay a few chapters ahead of myself so I needed to hash out a few things before posting. Enjoy!

The clock reads 7 pm, three hours past when everyone else most likely left the school but you stayed behind to work on projects. Every year since you started working as a teacher, you have made ceramic mugs and bowls that teachers and students could buy to give as Christmas presents. The money then went to the art department which you saw as a noble cause and reason enough to spend countless hours here at the school by yourself working on them, not that you minded considering how rare quiet time in solitude was becoming for you. 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, but due to your parents being down at their winter retirement home already as they always are during the winter, you will be spending it alone in your apartment with your cat. Not that you mind at all. Sure, it’s a little lonely considering you’re used to spending holidays with your ex’s family, and even last year your friends invited you over so you weren’t alone, so the adjustment back to celebrating holidays alone outside of a short zoom call with your family will be a rough one tomorrow. 

The snow crunches under your boots as you walk to your car, the only car in the parking lot, trying to reach it as fast as possible because of how blasted cold it is. You hastily throw your belongings in the back seat, accidentally dumping your purse out, and decide that you’ll clean it up when you’re back at home and your car is hopefully warmed up more than it is now. 

You jam your key into the ignition and turn it, but the only thing that happens is your car makes a click with one grinding sound of the starter before clicking back of. The dash lights illuminate and bing at you with each attempt, but the car never successfully turns over, just keeps clicking. “Don’t do this to me,” you groan and sit back with your head on the seat and close your eyes while you think of what to do. 

Your parents are unable to help you due to how far away they are and the rest of your family all lives at least two hours away, but you have Poe and Finn’s number, surely one of them can help you, and if not, Rose might be able to. The phone rings twice before someone picks up, the sound of music and people blaring through from the other side. 

“Hello?” You question, wondering if anyone is there. 

“Y/n?” Poe yells through the phone. 

“Poe, where are you?” You ask regarding the loud background noise and pull the phone away from your ear a touch in response. 

“Luke’s!” He says loudly again. “Where are you?” You detect a slur in his voice and laugh at how he’s over-enunciating each word due to his clear intoxication. 

“I’m at school-“

“School? Why?” He cuts you off and you lean forward onto your steering wheel out of frustration knowing that you’re practically dealing with a large man-child right now.

“Is that y/n?” You hear Rose slur in the background followed by the sound of the phone surely being passed or ripped away from him. “Y/n, where are you?!”

“I’m at school-“

“Ew, why are you still there?” She interrupts you just as Poe did, giving away her own current inebriated state as well. 

“Because I was working on projects before I came to meet you all,” you attempt to explain but know they’re probably far too tipsy to care. “Look Rose, my car won’t start, is there someone there who can come get me. Finn maybe?” 

“I can tell you one thing, I definitely can’t,” she giggles and you roll your eyes. 

“Rose!” You yell through the phone to get her attention back on the phone instead of those around her. “Is Luke there?”

“Uhhhhhhhh,” she mumbles while you can only assume she is scanning the crowded preholiday bar. “Oh yep!”

“Great, give him the phone,” you order in the voice you usually reserve for your students who are misbehaving during class.

“Okey,” she says happily and takes the phone away from her ear as she begins her journey across the bar, tidbits of the passing conversations making their way into the speaker and to your ears. “Here it’s for you,” Rose slurs a moment later and hands you off, not telling Luke who is on the other end of the phone. 

“Hello?” Luke’s skeptical and quizzical voice comes through the phone, pushing the hum of the bar to the background. 

“Luke, hi, I’m sorry. This is y/n,” you begin. 

“Y/n, how can I help you?” He says happily, now recognizing who it is and his tone relaxing significantly. 

“I’m stuck at work because my car won’t start. I tried asking my friends to come to get me but obviously, they’re not in any shape to do that. Would you or someone else there be able to come get me?”

“Sure thing,” Luke says without hesitation. “I’ll send my extra bartender right now.”

“Thank you so much,” you say with a sigh of relief. “I’ll be waiting inside door 10 since my car is freezing. It’s around the backside of the building by the tennis courts.” 

“Sounds good,” Luke says quickly, probably preoccupied considering how busy the bar seems to be.

“Thanks, Luke, bye.”

“Bye y/n.”

Collecting your items from the backseat that you accidentally dumped out, you go back to the school to wait where there is actually working heat and take a seat on the bench. Luke’s is about twenty minutes from the school so you know you’ll be waiting for a while still and you make yourself comfortable. 

Time passes slowly while you wait and you stare at the ceiling, listening to the steady click of the old school clock above your head and counting the tiles on the floor and ceiling, avoiding going back into your classroom because you know you’ll become engrossed in a new task and will surely lose track of time. 

You hear the car long before you can even see its headlights, the sound of the engine immediately forming a pit in your stomach. The last month and a half with Kylo have been distant and strained, both of you ignoring the other and working as cordial coworkers. You’re well aware that this tension is a direct effect of you digging your heels in, but Kylo’s more subtle presence in your life has allowed you the opportunity to try moving on by going on a few dates, even if they have been unsuccessful and frankly boring thus far. 

Kylo’s black car screeches to a halt in front of the door and you look at it with apprehension, wondering if you really want to put yourself through this, but knowing that right now he’s your only option. 

“Hi I’m so sorry,” you say as casually as possible as you open the passenger door to lower yourself in. “Thank you for coming to get me, I know you probably have better ways to spend your time-“

“I forget how much you talk,” he mutters and puts the car in drive, pulling it up to sit directly in front of your inoperable car with his headlights illuminating it. “Let’s see if we can tell what the issue is, can you pop the hood?”

“Uh yeah,” you stutter and dig for your keys that you figured you were done with for the evening so they’ve made their way to the bottom of your purse already. 

Kylo watches you quickly get into your car, his hands in his pocket where he stands at the hood of your car as you fumble below the dash for the level to release the hood. Finally, you find it and wrap your fingers around it and pull, the hood releasing with a clunk. 

You find it way too attractive to watch Kylo fish under the hood with his fingers that barely fit, his eyes trained on the top of the hood while he searches, before finally releasing it and propping it up. Something about him being so focused with his fingers blinding working at something is erotic and you have to stop yourself from going down that train of thinking. 

“Alright give it a try,” Kylo prompts and you follow his instructions, listening to the engine stutter and fail. “Try again?” You follow his instructions again to no avail and he sighs, lowering the hood, and looks at you as he drops it back into place. “My guess is that something is up with the starter but I’m not any good with cars,” Kylo mumbles and walks around to your driver’s door where you’re still sitting with your head against the freezing steering wheel. “Hey what’s wrong?” 

“Nothing,” you sniffle, trying to keep yourself pulled together. “It’s just that this is a brand new car and I don’t have a way to get around this weekend because my parents are out of town, so I’m just going to be stuck at home now and waiting until I can get this into the dealer to have this thing looked at.”

“I’m sure it’ll be an easy fix,” Kylo says in an attempt to make you feel better but you don’t respond, just sit up at look at his running car that is warm, where you should instead of throwing a tantrum in your ice-cold car. “How about food? Maz’s is open tonight and I’m sure I could swing a table for us.” 

“You don’t need to do that,” you argue and look up at him. 

“No, but I think you could use a friend right now.”

“Didn’t know that word was in your vocabulary,” you counter half-heartedly and start getting yourself out of the car. 

“It rarely is, don’t get used to it.”

The drive from school to Maz’s is a normal drive for you considering the restaurant is only a few blocks away from your apartment, however usually it’s nowhere near this tense considering you’re usually traveling alone. You fiddle with the bottom corner of your coat the entire way as a distraction, trying to hold yourself together long enough to get out of this confined space with him. 

You’re irritated because you didn’t expect that when Luke said his “back-up” bartender would come to get him, that he meant Kylo, but you guess it makes sense considering he said he used to bartend more regularly. Still, you don’t appreciate the ambush that was imposed on you. 

What makes it even worse is that even though he came from working at a bar, he still smells incredible, his cologne somehow outweighing the scent of alcohol and smoke that has seeped into the fabric of his clothes.

You’ve been to Maz’s on many other occasions, usually coming here for family birthdays or like the most recent occasion with Hux, the infrequent date. To counteract the bitter temperatures, you walk with your chin tucked down into your coat, and your hands clenched tightly in your pockets, still refusing to look at Kylo. 

At the front door of the restaurant, Kylo opens it, his free hand instinctively finding a place on your back as he follows you into the restaurant. You stop at the hostess stand that says ‘please wait to be seated’ and look up at him, then down at his arm as a silent cue to stop touching you. Kylo pulls his hand away quickly and flexes it next to him.

“What’s the name?” The hostess asks as she walks up and turns her tablet on, the blue light illuminating her face in the dimly lit restaurant. 

“I’m not on the list, but can you go get Maz for me? Give her the name Ben Solo.”

“Maz is very busy sir,” the hostess tries to argue.

“Please? We’re family friends.”

The girl sizes him up and down, her mouth contorting as she thinks and her eyes squinting. “Okay,” the hostess says with annoyed cautiousness and looks over at you then back up at him as if wondering if you two are a pair despite the icy posture the two of you both possess. 

While you wait, you distract yourself with anything you can lay your eyes on such as the pattern of the wallpaper and the lights made out of industrial metal and wood, even a conversation at a nearby table featuring a loud obnoxious man telling a story is enough to keep you busy and distracted. 

“You Solos always make my life so difficult,” a raspy woman’s voice calls out and you turn to look at the source, finding a small woman with bright orange hair and thick-framed glasses on her small face. “You ask a girl on a date and don’t bother to make a reservation?” 

“It’s not a date Maz,” Kylo argues and you feel your cheeks ignite from embarrassment. 

“Are you single honey?” The small woman says directly to you, her eyes enlarged from the thick glasses she’s wearing. 

“Uh, yes, I am,” you tell her quietly. 

“She’s single,” Maz gestures to you while speaking to Kylo, “I know for a fact you are, so call it what it is, a date.”

“Can’t two people just grab dinner as friends and not be accused of seeing each other?”

“Unless you’ve suddenly started playing for the other team, or she already does, by the looks of you two, this is a date. A potentially steamy one at that.”

“Maz, a table please?” Kylo cuts her off and steps closer to the hostess stand trying to cut you off and you wonder if Kylo is perhaps embarrassed.

“Okay okay, Damn, you take after your father more and more every day,” she mutters and taps around on the tablet. “You lucky that I had a cancellation, but you need to tip the waitress well for my trouble.”

“Will do,” Kylo agrees politely and Maz waves him off as she walks back towards the kitchen after directing the hostess where to seat you. 

The table the hostess leads you two is in the corner of the front of the restaurant, right up against the window. Kylo motions for you to hand him your coat, doing a half-assed job at helping you out of it and then hanging it on the hook on his side of the booth next to him.

You pay extra attention to getting yourself settled, becoming suddenly fascinated and aware of how the sleeves of your sweater are laying.

“Can I get you two anything to drink?” The waitress says after introducing herself and handing you two menus.

“Can we get a bottle of the Napa Merlot?” Kylo asks without looking up and the waitress leaves with a simple nod, leaving you ina stunned silence.

“Kylo,” you hiss at him as she walks away and he looks up at you with a quizzical brow over the menu he is buried in. 

“What?” 

“That’s a $50 bottle of wine,” you point out still in hushed tones. 

Kylo leans forward over the table, spreading the menu out in front of him with his hands, a small smirk on his face. “You think I’m not aware of that?”

“I’m just saying, for this not being a date, that’s an expensive bottle of wine. I would have been happy with the $10 dollar one.”

“And do you also enjoy drinking cleaning solution in your spare time?”

You glare up at him, your mouth twisting as you fight a smile in response to his witty comment and your cheeks flushing. “Touché.”

“That’s what I thought,” he says victoriously and looks back down at his menu. “What looks good to you?”

“I usually just get the 6 oz sirloin with a salad,” you mumble and breeze over the menu that hasn’t changed in years. 

Kylo nods in silent acknowledgment his eyes still scanning the menu, his eyebrow pinched just enough that those two lines between them appear. 

“Have we had a chance to look at the menu?” The waitress asks when she returns to the table, a bottle of wine in hand. 

“Yes actually,” Kylo speaks up, not allowing you to cut in. 

“Go ahead,” the waitress prompts him while she uncorks the wine bottle, clearly experienced enough at her job that she doesn’t need to write anything down. 

“I will have the 14oz New York strip with a potato on the side and she will take the 10 oz New York strip with a side salad,” he rattles off and without thinking, you kick your foot up into his knee, causing him to jump and bang his knee on the table. 

“Dressing?” She asks as the cork comes out of the top of the bottle with a satisfying pop and Kylo glares at you while he rubs his knee under the table. 

“Vinaigrette please,” you respond politely and glare back at him. 

Once she has appropriately topped your classes of wine off, she leaves you alone, both of you gauging who is going to start the argument first. 

“You kicked me,” Kylo snaps at you and you roll your eyes as you reach out and take a sip of the wine. You notice how smooth it is and how easily it goes down, but you’re not going to admit that to him. 

“Because you upped my order,” you hiss back at him and lean forward. “Congratulations to you that you don’t have student loans and your family is loaded so you can throw money around like it’s nothing. Not all of us have that luxury.”

“Were you getting the sirloin for taste or for the price?”

“Why does it matter?” You question and sit back with your arms crossed. 

“Price got it,” he answers for you and your mouth falls open a touch in disbelief at the audacity this man always possesses but he’s completely oblivious to your reaction as he takes a sip of his own wine. “Fantastic wine is it not?”

“You’re the worst,” you mutter with another eye roll.

“Not the first time I’ve been told that,” he laughs and leans forward on his elbows looking at you, but you refuse to make eye contact with him in return. “You know, it’s exhilarating being back to bantering with you again.”

“Really?” You ask with a bitter tone and pick at a piece of bread on the small plate in front of you. 

“Reminds me why I was so attracted to you from the beginning,” he says bluntly and you flick your eyes up to his, holding them for a second before dropping them back down. 

“You’re crossing a line,” you mutter quietly and shove another piece of bread into your mouth. 

Kylo doesn’t respond, just grunts in disapproval and ruffles his hair, taking a large gulp of his wine, his eyes are on you with a gaze that could figuratively bore holes into you. 

You exist with Kylo in strained silence with an occasional conversation about the most simple topics including the weather and your work duties that you are both responsible for, neither of you wanting to admit that you might actually want to consider this a date and in the end, you’ll consider it one, even if the other person doesn’t formally agree to that label. 

“I see you’re out of wine,” the waitress says as you you’re about hallways through dinner. “Can I get you anything else?”

“Another bottle please,” Kylo says and the waitress nods happily, knowing that just upped the tip she will be getting. 

“Are you serious?” You ask in disbelief. 

“What?” He asks with a sly smile and leans forward towards you, his eyes sparkly in the low light and his cheeks slightly flushed from the alcohol that he has been consuming faster than you. “Did you plan on driving somewhere tonight?” 

“Well no,” you say shyly, not appreciating his stab at your lack of operational vehicle. 

“Oh come on y/n, lighten up, no need to be so high strung.”

You look up at him, noticing that he’s much looser than he has ever been around you before and you decide in that moment, that ordering that second bottle of wine is surely going to be something he regrets, and you vow to slow down each sip.

For the remainder of the meal, you take impossibly slow and small sips, giving the quickly declining giant across from you the impression that you’re drinking at the same pace, even though he’s far too tipsy to notice that the level in your glass is barely changing while his is emptying and refilling at an impressive rate. 

It’s strange meeting this side of him, a side that cracks jokes even if they’re a little off-colored and sometimes at your expense, but a more open and jovial side of him is still more welcome than his stuffy demeanor that reminds you of Professor’s Snape in Harry Potter. 

“Benjamin,” Maz snaps as she walks up to the table after the waitress has collected the bill and been released for the night. “How much have you drank?”

“She has drank just as much,” Kylo argues childishly and you grin at how ridiculous he is being and look up at Maz. 

“He drank nearly this entire bottle and about 2/3s of the first,” you explain like a kid ratting out their friend to the principal. 

“Shhhhhh,” he shushes at you and you fight a smile again accompanying an unbelieving laugh. You know you’re definitely going to be holding his behavior tonight over his head in the near future. 

“Give her your keys,” Maz orders Kylo and he looks up at her like a defiant toddler. 

“No.”

“Yes,” she argues back and glares back at him. “If you won’t give them to her, give them to me,” she corrects and glances over at you. “If not, I’ll just call Luke.”

“Fine,” Kylo mutters and reaches into his pocket pulling the keys out and setting them on the table, which Maz motions with her head for you to grab from the spot they rest at. 

“Keep track of him and make sure he’s okay,” Maz directs you. “Out of everything, wine is for some reason his kryptonite even though he’ll pretend it doesn’t affect him.”

“Noted,” you laugh and glance at Kylo who looks completely annoyed by this conversation about him. “He is kind of a lightweight.”

“Alright, that’s enough,” Kylo cuts off, slurring some of his words and getting up with unsteady footing to get his coat. “Maz, food was fantastic, compliments to the chef, but y/n and I should be getting home.”

You raise an eyebrow at him, noting how he’s casually lumping you two together again like a couple and you gulp down the part of you that is almost excited by that fact. 

“Thank you Maz,” you say politely and grab your coat that Kylo is unnecessarily holding out towards you, which you shrug on quickly and follow Kylo out of the restaurant.


End file.
